A character in Mystery Science Theater 3000
Played by Kevin Murphy
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Mystery Science Theater 3000: in 1,542 of its 3,167 quotes
Most scenes with: Crow T. Robot (818), Mike Nelson (393), Joel Robinson (294)
[Three of the space program's staff head toward the crash site in a flatbed truck.]
ServoThis is back when NASA was family-owned and operated.
Before this decade is out, we will put a man in a pickup truck, and bring him safely to Mendocino County.
ServoIt's great how they can run the space program, and then sell corn from their flatbed truck.
[Dave is fiddling with the radio as Donna watches.]
Will you go out and ask Steve to come in here a minute?
Okay. STEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!
I could have done that...
[Steve, Julie, and Dr. Wyman are examining Johnny's body. Donna enters.]
Um, have you guys seen my brush?
Steve.
Yes?
Yes?
Yes?
[After Dave is attacked, the rest of the scientists rush to the scene.]
Tom ServoAnd the Steves are there!
Steve One, you go that way. Steve Two, come with me!
[The scientists are making their way down a steep hill.]
Carry me.
Tom ServoShut up.
Carry me!
Tom ServoShut up.
CARRY ME!
Tom ServoShut up!
Unnnnnnh...
You can't hide this!
Who is to prevent me?
ServoA halfway smart guy with muscles and hair?
[Puma Man drops one of Kobras' henchmen and he falls rather awkwardly thanks to some poorly synced background shots]
Heeelp! I'm falling at a sixty degree angle breaking all the laws of physics!
...
[The henchman gets dropped again]
My mustache makes me fall sideways!
[Tony seeks information from girlfriend Jane, who's wearing a black-leather catsuit with matching WWI-vintage strap-on pilot's headgear.]
I'm conditioned to keep the secret, just like everyone. I can't do it.
Try! Fight him! Fight him with your will!
But my will won't!
I-- I-- I can't! He's commanding me from a distance.
ServoAmelia Airhead.
[In his mansion, Kobras waxes eloquent about his world domination plans.]
When the world is mine, I alone will decide whether it is to be war or peace! Life or death!
Stuffing or potatoes!
Because you come from Earth...
Corn grows in you.
And to Earth you shall return!
Huh? That was an odd thing to say, even for him.
[In Diabolik's lair, the black-leather-clad antihero and Eva, still in their car, move in for another lip-lock.]
Let's have a tantric quickie.
Mmm… mmm… oh, you smell like a tire store.
ServoThis is just a good samaritan he met in the tunnel.
Heh! She's a great samaritan!
You don't mind if I swallow your face, do you?
[The lovely Eva is removing her skimpy frock as she passes a staircase.]
Wow! Dangerously steep stairs!
ServoYou're watching the stairs?
Poor Mike...
[Eva and Diabolik make love in a pile of money.]
ServoThey're really gonna have to get their money laundered.
Steve Forbes and his wife!
. . .
You know, with my budget, I'd be rolling around in a handful of change.
. . .
ServoPaper cuts are brutal.
. . .
The young Alan Greenspan!
. . .
ServoThey got pretty injured when they tried this with gold bars.
. . .
If they make love in English pound notes, their sex is 50% better.
. . .
You're the frendliest teller I ever met! Last time, I just got a toaster!
. . .
You know, if he'd stolen just a little less, I could see her ass right now.
. . .
Got greed?
ServoMember, FDIC! [chuckles]
[Diabolik, out of ammunition, pulls out a mysterious silver metal cylinder the size and shape of a very large bullet.]
My steel, reusable Fleet.
Maybe I can run real fast and push it into him.
[At home, the gang watches The Crawling Eye, the first film in MST3K's cable run.]
Servo"The Crawling Eye". The Marty Feldman Story.
Oh, Forrest Tucker. He's the guy who makes sure all the trees' shirttails are in.
This movie seems kind of familiar, doesn't it?
ServoHmmm.
Specials
Mike NelsonMichael J. Nelson · 824 quotes
Joel RobinsonJoel Hodgson · 542 quotes
NNarrator224 quotes
JJonah171 quotes
GGypsy75 quotes
EEmily69 quotes
CFDr. Clayton Forrester57 quotes
PFPearl Forrester26 quotes
MMax22 quotes
KFKinga Forrester21 quotes
JPJack Perkins20 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.