“Danger: Diabolik!”
In this episode: Crow T. Robot (7), Tom Servo (7), Mike Nelson (6)
[Diabolik drives off down a highway as 60s spy-themed music plays in the background.]
[singing along with the music] Gonna go to the store! Da na na na na na! Gonna pick up some bread! Da na na na na na! Maybe stop by the post office! Da na na na na na! Take Dolores to lunch! Da na na na na na! Hope they're serving that ham, oh yeah...
[A caravan guarding a shipment of money is traveling along a road, to the sound of peppy surf-rock music.]
Y'know, this music would be better with women in bikinis shaking it all over the place... Well, I guess that's true of any music, really.
[In Diabolik's lair, the black-leather-clad antihero and Eva, still in their car, move in for another lip-lock.]
Let's have a tantric quickie.
Mmm… mmm… oh, you smell like a tire store.
This is just a good samaritan he met in the tunnel.
Heh! She's a great samaritan!
You don't mind if I swallow your face, do you?
[The lovely Eva is removing her skimpy frock as she passes a staircase.]
Wow! Dangerously steep stairs!
You're watching the stairs?
Poor Mike...
[Eva and Diabolik make love in a pile of money.]
They're really gonna have to get their money laundered.
Steve Forbes and his wife!
. . .
You know, with my budget, I'd be rolling around in a handful of change.
. . .
Paper cuts are brutal.
. . .
The young Alan Greenspan!
. . .
They got pretty injured when they tried this with gold bars.
. . .
If they make love in English pound notes, their sex is 50% better.
. . .
You're the frendliest teller I ever met! Last time, I just got a toaster!
. . .
You know, if he'd stolen just a little less, I could see her ass right now.
. . .
Got greed?
Member, FDIC! [chuckles]
[During a press conference, Diabolik and Eva have released laughing gas into the room. Everyone breaks into laughter.]
Dan Quayle announces his candidacy.
[As mob boss Valmont meets with his henchmen, a whooping horn sounds the approach of a speedboat.]
The S. S. Jo Anne Worley!
Is that Stud coming?
I beg your pardon?
[In a later scene, Valmont addresses the man who arrived in the speedboat as "Stud" -- "Stud, you brought bad news." -- clarifying the remark.]
[Diabolik, out of ammunition, pulls out a mysterious silver metal cylinder the size and shape of a very large bullet.]
My steel, reusable Fleet.
Maybe I can run real fast and push it into him.
[The movie closes with the word "FINE" (Italian for "the end").]
This has been the official biopic of Larry Fine.[N]
[At home, the gang watches The Crawling Eye, the first film in MST3K's cable run.]
"The Crawling Eye". The Marty Feldman Story.
Oh, Forrest Tucker. He's the guy who makes sure all the trees' shirttails are in.
This movie seems kind of familiar, doesn't it?
Hmmm.
Specials
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
