[reading the actor credits] Andrew Howarth?
CCrow
Fine; howarth you?
Classic!
Crow T. Robot
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes
Most-quoted character in Mystery Science Theater 3000: in 1,660 of its 3,167 quotes
Most scenes with: Tom Servo (818), Mike Nelson (376), Joel Robinson (271)
Scenes with Crow T. Robot 1,239
LLisa
How do we stand on fuel now?
CCrow
I'm for it.
[As the three remaining astronauts run from the rock-throwing Stone-Age Martians…]
SAServo [as Astronaut]
Well...that could have gone better.
JAJoel [as Tooter Turtle]
Hellllp, Mr. Wizaaaaard!
CACrow [as Other Astronaut]
Nonsense!
SAServo [as King Arthur]
Run away! Run away!
JAJoel [as Tooter Turtle]
I don't wanna be an astronaut anymore!
[Fade into the next scene, where the rocket blasts off.]
SAServo [as Shaggy]
Oooh! Scooby! We gotta get outta here, Scooby!
CACrow [as Mr. Wizard]
Dreezle drazzle drozzle drome!
SAServo [as Mr. Wizard]
Time for zis vun to come home!
PPaisley
Why can't I reach you?
CCrow
There's a ladder in the way.
JCJ.C.
[after having killed Rommel's fiancee and beaten Rommel unconscious] I treated you like a brother!
CCrow
Not a good brother...
[Bob and Greta the White Goddess are in a tough spot.]
BBob
[sarcastic] White goddess having trouble?
CCrow
White fascist getting smart?
BDBob Draper
Hi, I'm Bob Draper. School must've assigned you a keeper.
DPDon Pringle
Don Pringle.
CACrow [as Don]
Heir to the potato chip fortune.
[On the Catalina ferry Little Richard performs the song "Scuba Party" in his trademark effervescent fashion.]
CCrow
Little Richard? I hate impressionists!
. . .
Prince, I hope you're watching this!
I think a certain teen idol is hopped up on goofballs!
CCrow
Little Richard: the one true talent in this film!
[On a large yacht, soundtrack artists Carol Connors and The Cascades observe the boys and girls angrily ignoring each other.]
I feel a number coming on…
CCCarol Connors
Hey, we better do something, and quick!
VCVarious Cascades
Yeah! Let's do something.
CCrow
Hey, it's Gloria Estefan and the Catalina Deus Ex Sound Machina!
[Tanya meets Manston in some ruins near the Soviet missile base.]
MManston
Did Lars give you the TNT?
CACrow [as Tanya]
He gave me the T and the N, but not the other T. And I had the A.
[College student Lewis Moffitt (played by 41-year-old George E. Mather) gets off the phone with his girlfriend.]
JAJoel [as Moffitt]
Aw, she's the ginchiest. Life does begin at 40.
[He puts on a sweater.]
SAServo [as Moffitt]
Let's see… [groans] … ooh, that bursitis is really acting up today.
CACrow [as Moffitt/Old Man]
I'm gonna have to take a sweater. My legs are old, my teeth are grey…
The Phantom Creeps, Chapter 3 (short)
S2 Ring of Terror
View quote →
[Outside a bar, a scruffy motorcycle gang with skulls-and-crossbones on their jackets dismount and enter.]
Hey, those guys are marked clearly as poison. Don't eat 'em. Hmm.
If you take these bikers internally, do not induce vomiting.
CCrow
Nah, the movie'll do that for you. Like an ipecac.
An epa-- oh, that Genesis album?
[Jeeter (the biker leader) watches as fellow biker Banjo jealously observes someone flirting with Linda]
JJeeter
Can you boys believe it; Banjo's in love.
CCrow
[as Jeeter] Okay, would you believe- mildly infatuated? H-how about a school-girl crush?
[later the gang approaches the bar-goer who flirted with Linda]
BBanjo
Our girl is like a virgin goddess; no creeps- no creeps are allowed to touch her.
CCrow
[as Banjo] Only union members and their families!
[the bikers' hideout is shown for the first time, notably with a swastika-emblazoned flag hanging off the wall]
Just look at all those books up there [on the shelf]- Leaves of Grass...
Trump: The Art of the Deal...
Mein Kampf...
CCrow
The Essays of Pat Buchanan...
[A quick shot of a rocket on a launch pad.]
CCrow
Oh, look! A V-2!
Aw, I could've had a V8!
More Mystery Science Theater 3000 characters
All Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes →
Tom ServoKevin Murphy · 1,542 quotes
Mike NelsonMichael J. Nelson · 824 quotes
Joel RobinsonJoel Hodgson · 542 quotes
NNarrator224 quotes
JJonah171 quotes
GGypsy75 quotes
EEmily69 quotes
CFDr. Clayton Forrester57 quotes
PFPearl Forrester26 quotes
MMax22 quotes
KFKinga Forrester21 quotes
JPJack Perkins20 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.