Crow T. Robot quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000, page 2 ... TV Quotes Database

CCrow

[as Deeja; after seeing the mutated state of Jorn at the hands of the Dark One] Dad, you're a tulip bulb!

CCrow

[as Jorn to Deeja] Honey, remember my torso? Well, it's chip dip now!

S1 Robot Holocaust (movie)

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CCrow

Boy! Nothing more depressing than being locked in a capsule watching a movie about people dying in a capsule.

S2 Rocketship X-M

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[As the Martians throw rocks at the astronauts, and the astronauts fire back]

CCrow

Look, thanks for the rocks, here's some bullets.

S2 Rocketship X-M

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[Rommel shows J.C. how to sidehack]

CCrow

It was about that time the Duke boys decided they'd show ol' Boss Hogg just what sidehackin' was all about.

S2 The Sidehackers

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[camera pans across Rommel and his crew, spending a lot of time on a patch of rocks]

CCrow

We're rocks and we're smarter than the rest of the cast.

S2 The Sidehackers

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CCrow

For those of you keeping score at home, Rita is dead.

S2 The Sidehackers

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[Crow continues his Lugosi monologue about the actors as the credits list the remaining players.]

CACrow [as Bela Lugosi]

I forget who did what here. I say, "Shoot the picture! Let God sort it out."

Jungle Goddess (movie)

S2 Jungle Goddess

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CCrow

[After a car has taken an abnormally long time to park] Nobody will be admitted during the breathtaking car-parking sequence!

S2 Rocket Attack U.S.A.

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[New York has just been nuked.]

CCrow

It turned the Big Apple into apple sauce.

S2 Rocket Attack U.S.A.

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[Dr. Zorka shows the chauffeur the "source of his power," which looks like a patterned cube]

CACrow [as Bela Lugosi]

It's called a Rubiks Cube. Don't screw it up!

S2 Ring of Terror

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[A shot with a cop on a motorcycle in front of the Lt.'s car.]

CCrow

Hey, look! Erik Estrada!

S2 Wild Rebels

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[During the film's interminable rock-climbing sequence]

CCrow

Must...try...hard...to...pad...out...the...film!

S2 Lost Continent

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[Astronaut Brinkman accidentally kicks a rock into a pool of magma, which throws it back. A rockslide showers Brinkman and Sumiko.]

CACrow [as Brinkman]

Uhh... note to myself: don't throw rocks at magma.

S2 First Spaceship on Venus

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[Prof. Sikarna gives a long boring exposition]

CCrow

Well, that's very interesting, but does it belong in the script?

S2 First Spaceship on Venus

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[As Godzilla finally makes it to the climactic battle]

CACrow [as Godzilla/Nada]

I have come here to chew sushi and kick butt. And I'm all out of sushi.

S2 Godzilla vs. Megalon

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Crow T. Robot quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

Lines by Crow T. Robot 421

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