Scenes with Crow T. Robot 1,239
[singing] I wish I had a castle in the sky...
[angrily] Yeah, well, wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one piles up first!
[singing] Away up high where bluebirds like to fly...
SA Servo [as Mary]
[singing] I wish I could have sex with Louis Nye...
[singing] A cozy, little castle with 100 rooms or more...
CA Crow [as Mary]
[singing] I wouldn't have to dress like Tipper Gore...
. . .
[singing] I wish my living room were all redone...
MA Mike [as Mary]
[singing] I think owning a newspaper would be fun...
[singing] : I wish the faucet wouldn't drip all day...
[A dissolve changes part of the kitchen to a different kitchen.]
SA Servo [as Mary]
Oh, I wish Hardware Hank hadn't done my kitchen!
[singing] I wish that refridgerator door would close and stay closed...
MA Mike [as the fridge]
Oh, sure, everyone dump on the refridgerator.
CA Crow [as announcer]
Miss Betty Furdess and the new Westinghouse!
[singing] I wish I had a stove whose pilot was always lit...
C Crow
[in a Australian accent] Well, don't look for it now. It's only available in the year 2000!
[The bedroom is repeatedly dissolving to different ones.]
That's about as sexy as a garage.
. . .
C Crow
One bed's for them, the other one's for little grandma.
. . .
SA Servo [as Mary]
Jeff and I were going to get the racing car beds, but we decided on these.
. . .
Well, sort of a Westerny-Ginghamy-Oriental-Danish-Modernesque-Prairie School sort of thing, huh?
[Wilbur the fey angel sprinkles fairy dust on Jeff & Mary's house.]
CA Crow [as Male Neighbor]
Uh, honey, izzat a gay man on the Johnsons' roof?
SA Servo [as Female Neighbor]
Should we get a gay man for our roof, honey?
[An invisible Wilbur is playing the piano as the couple dances.]
C Crow
Welcome to Shakey's!
[The camera zooms in on his glasses on the piano.]
[gasps] Elton John was here!
[Three of the space program's staff head toward the crash site in a flatbed truck.]
This is back when NASA was family-owned and operated.
CA Crow [as JFK]
Before this decade is out, we will put a man in a pickup truck, and bring him safely to Mendocino County.
It's great how they can run the space program, and then sell corn from their flatbed truck.
[Steve, Julie, and Dr. Wyman are examining Johnny's body. Donna enters.]
CA Crow [as Donna]
Um, have you guys seen my brush?
TS Tom Servo [as Dr. Wyman]
Yes?
[After Dave is attacked, the rest of the scientists rush to the scene.]
And the Steves are there!
C Crow
Steve One, you go that way. Steve Two, come with me!
[The photographer Donna is staring at a photo she took of the satellite crash.]
D Donna
Here's something to complicate things even more.
C Crow
I took these upside down!
[Steve enters in from the lab.]
CA Crow [as Steve]
My brownies are gone!
[The scientists are making their way down a steep hill.]
CA Crow [as Vadinho]
I'm an onion.
[Aztec priest Vadinho advises "Puma Man" Tony on his flying powers.]
You do not fly, but your mind does.
CA Crow [as Tony]
Yeah, thanks, Castaneda.
Get moving. Comb the area. Find him. Kill him.
C Crow
Donald's only use for the word "comb".
[In Diabolik's lair, the black-leather-clad antihero and Eva, still in their car, move in for another lip-lock.]
SA Servo [as Diabolik]
Let's have a tantric quickie.
MA Mike [as Eva]
Mmm… mmm… oh, you smell like a tire store.
This is just a good samaritan he met in the tunnel.
C Crow
Heh! She's a great samaritan!
SA Servo [as Diabolik]
You don't mind if I swallow your face, do you?
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Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes
