Tylor! You're not gonna believe this. Power's out all over Monstropolis. A M.E.R.C investigator is on his way. Heads are gonna roll... [notices the mess in the canister room] Whoa. What happened?
Tylor[in time with Duncan] Duncan did it.
[in time with Tylor] College Boy did it.
Tylor
Me?! You're in charge!
Tylor
What? It was your idea.
It sounds like you're all accountable.
Tylor
So are you! If it wasn't for you, Duncan wouldn't even be supervisor.
I'm not losing my pension over this.
Tylor
Well, I'm not losing my shot at the Laugh Floor!
Okay, okay, alright. The only way to save our jobs is to hide all the evidence and make sure nobody ever finds out the truth.
I don't know, Duncan. Sounds like you're suggesting a cover-up.
No! It's not a cover-up. Just a thing where we all conspire to avoid accountability for our actions.
No! Why is this concept so difficult to grasp? Not a cover-up.
[Argus discovers the cause of the power outage through his sentient eyeballs and has called MIFT for a meeting]
As the Facilities Team here at Monsters, Incorporated, all of you are in violation of numerous M.E.R.C. codes, as eye-witnessed by my eyes. And as supervisor, M...
Temporary supervisor, Mr. Duncan P. Anderson, you are responsible for the actions of your team. You should be fired, or, better yet, banished!
Tylor
Hey, wait. Come on, it's his first day as supervisor. Give him a break.
Give him a break? I've been working non-stop as a M.E.R.C. official for 20 years, and no one's ever given me a brea...
[at that moment, a scream canister that was lodged on the ceiling finally comes loose and lands on Argus' head, knocking him unconscious]
Tylor
Is he...? Oh.
Oh, well. I'll log him in my accident journal.
We gotta get rid of the body.
Tylor
What?!
I mean, check his pulse, obviously.
[MIFT hides the unconscious Argus in the vacation door]
Uh, guys? I am pretty sure disposing of a body may be another banishable offense.
Tylor
That was the only thing we could do, okay? His work-life balance was totally out of whack, alright? Duncan?
Right, right. College Boy is right. So, we need to make a pact. None of us will ever speak of this again. We take this to our graves. Nobody saw nothin'.
Tylor
Well...
Ahem! [points to Argus' sentient eyeballs]
Tylor
[whispers] Shh. We need to close the case.
[two weeks later, Cutter activates the vacation door; Argus comes out with a tan line wearing a Hawaiian shirt]
That was, without a doubt... [happily] the best vacation of my life! Wow!
[comes out the door] I believe it, Argus. 'Cause you really needed to unwind. You're very wound.
Tylor
So, uh, you're doing okay?
I'm more than okay. Sipping creepy coladas, napping beneath the palms, cha-chaing the night away.
Argus? You're still here?
Yeah, I thought you left two weeks ago.
Oh, no, no, no. I took a little time off. I have your MIFT crew to thank.
Tylor
You are welcome. And that is the last we will speak of it.
Well, of course, I will be writing all of you up, but just a warning this time. Goodbye, Mr. Laugh Energy. [leaves]
[sighs] That was too close. We were nearly shut down.
You caused a major power outage, conspired to cover it up, and if that weren't enough, attempted to bribe a M.E.R.C. official.
Stay on point, Sulley, stay on point.
Is all this true? Duncan?
[sighs in defeat] Yes, sir.
Oh, this is all my fault. I tipped the wheel so that Duncan could be temporary supervisor.
Well, regardless of how he became temporary supervisor, it all happened on your watch, Duncan.
And any of these accusations is grounds for dismissal.
Dismissal? Um... Temporary supervisor's, uh... [sniffles] Well, he's gotta go down with his temporary ship... I guess. So, uh, Mr. Sullivan, Mr. Wazowski...
Tylor
I'm sorry, I... I'm the one that caused the outage, okay? Duncan, he was just trying to be a good supervisor. So if anyone deserves to be dismissed, it's me.
Tylor
Yeah, well...
No, no, no. The power outage and, you know, all the other stuff, that was my fault, too. Though I am significantly less at fault than him.
Hmm. I am so proud of you two. Not only have you displayed that get-along MIFTer spirit, you've shown that you're willing to sacrifice one another.
TDTylor and Duncan
"Sacrifice for one another"?
That, too. So, Mr. W, Mr. S, what do you way we forget all the dismissal jumbo-mumbo-bumbo-bimble?
Speaking of dismissal mumbo jumbo, what about that "against company policy" vacation door?
Taken care of, Sulley. I'm having it shredded.
Mr. Wazowski, we're here to take the vacation door to your office.
[Mike chuckles nervously]
[Tylor tries to buy a drink from a vending machine, but it stops working]
Tylor
Oh, uh, hey, Val? There's something wrong with this old machine here. I think it might be broken.
That's more than an old machine, Double T. I told you, her name's Vendy.
Tylor
Right, right. Forgot it has a name.
Tylor
Of course, right, yes.
Fritz named her. She's as much a MIFTer as any of us. And a little moody sometimes. So, all you gotta do is say, "Hi, Vendy!" Like that.
Tylor
Oh, okay. Sure. Uh, hi, Vendy.
Good. Now bump the left side with your fist. [does exactly what she said three times] Bump-bump-bump. Then wait a beat, big bump! [rams Vendy with his shoulder]
Tylor
Bump-bump-bump, wait a beat, big bump. Got it. Okay, thanks.
Don't bump too hard. Few years back, Nathan in marketing shook her and bam! Squashed him like a bug. He's an invertebrate, so he was okay. And we got free candy, so, heh... [walks away]
Tylor
Oh, well, it's good to hear you got free candy. [chuckles] Okay, Vendy, here we go. [bumps the left side of Vendy with his fist] Bump-bump-bump, wait a beat, big bump! [rams Vendy with his shoulder, but accidentally shoves his horn into it, causing it to malfunction and spark out] Oh, no!
Tylor
That doesn't sound good.
Jumping gaskets! What's wrong with Vendy?!
Tylor
I don't know! I just bumped it!
[Vendy starts sparking out]
Tylor
Like I said, I think it's... [Vendy breaks down completely, unable to be working anymore] ...broken.
[MIFT is holding a funeral for Vendy]
Today, we mourn the passing of another very special member of our MIFT family, Vendy. [sobs sadly]
Tylor
[confused] We're having a funeral for a vending machine?
Not just any vending machine. Vendy and I began our careers here at Monsters, Inc. on the very same day. Me, an ambitious young mechanic. Vendy, a machine with a dream of dispensing chilled drinks at an inflated price because of the convenience.
[sobbing] SHE WAS WORTH IT!!
She wouldn't want us to cry. But instead, to [wheezes] celebrate... her life.
[Fritz and Val sob hysterically as Vendy is carted out of MIFT's office.]
[Fritz has been told that he has to fire one of the MIFTers by the end of the week due to budget cuts; Mike is looking for ways to boost morale without overextending Monsters Inc.'s budget]
You want me to tell you how to boost morale?
Yes, because you're "always watching." Or is it "always stinking"? I don't know. Whatever it is.
FMFemale monster
Ugh! No more coffee screamer?! What's the point?!
How about you approve your paperwork on time? That would make me smile. And I've been told I have an infectious grin. [smiles]
Tylor
You sure this is gonna work?
Yeah, yeah. We'll buy him a Drooler Cooler, that'll cheer Fritz up, and you won't get fired.
Wait, what's wrong with Fritz?
Tylor
Oh, uh, hey, Mike. I broke his favorite vending machine this morning...
Tylor
Yeah, Vendy, yeah. I broke Vendy this morning and...
And he needs a new one! That's it! I got two words for ya: upgrades!
Tylor
I think upgrades is one word.
The perfect way to boost morale. And if we boost morale, we boost laughs. And if we boost laughs, we boost profits. And nobody has to be let go! [whispers] Except maybe Stinky…
[Fritz is shocked to see a brand new vending machine where Vendy was]
Look at that. It even has hot foods. That's pretty... hot.
That's right, sir. I had it installed just for you.
You had it installed? No, no, no. This wasn't Duncan's idea.
Tylor
Yeah, Val and I are the ones who gave Mike the idea to upgrade.
But I approved the delivery.
No, no, no, no, no. I don't think I like this.
This was all College Boy's hair-brained scheme.
Tylor
What?! No! Hey, I didn't ask Mike to send this down.
You said it was your idea.
Tylor
I said it was Mike's idea.
This is clearly all their fault. Keep that in mind.
Tylor
No-no-no, hold on.
[as Tylor, Val and Duncan continue arguing, Fritz walks up to the new vending machine and looks through all the selections]
Wow! Look at all these refreshing Drooler Cooler flavors. I like this.
Tylor
Really, Duncan?
How do I choose? There's Spineapple! That sounds...
Taste Free, Bilgeberry. Maybe I'm just gonna go for Bile Blast.
If you're happy, I'm happy.
[selects Bile Blast] Bump-bump-bump. [inserts his coins] Bitty bump. [the machine opens and a tray comes out holding a Bile Blast Drooler Cooler] Oh, my! [drinks the Drooler Cooler] The acidity's astounding. I can't feel my tongue, but so what? Maybe I should've tried the Lemon Slime instead. That could've been even more delightful and refreshing.
Hey, look, there's an exchange button.
Oh. Jumping gaskets! [presses the exchange button and places the drink back in the tray] Whoa! Would you look at that? [selects Lemon Slime] Bitty bump. [the tray comes out holding a Lemon Slime Drooler Cooler] I can't get over it! This is really something! Thank you, Vendy 2! [kisses "Vendy 2"] And thank you all. You know, I'm having a really rough week and this makes me feel a smidgy bit better. [goes into his office carrying multiple sodas]
Tylor
You hear that? He thanked us. We're not getting fired.
No, no. He thanked moi. I'm not getting fired.
[Fritz is looking over each MIFTer's files]
He's in there right now. Going through our files. Making his decision. And don't think your little vending machine trick will work, College Boy. You can't snack your way out of gettin' fired.
Tylor
Oh, I think I already have. [looks at the candy selections in Vendy Two] Whoa! Hot Snots?
Hot Snots? [flies up to Tylor] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Not so fast. No-no-no-no-no! You can't have those. Hot Snots are my thing.
Tylor
Your thing? No, no. They've been my thing since I was three.
Three?! My mom popped those babies instead of prenatals, okay?!
Tylor
Explains a lot.
I win! You'll just have to find another favorite.
Tylor
Seriously? No, I'm getting them.
Tylor
Stop it.
Tylor
Mine.
[they both bicker and continuously press the button on Vendy Two until she shuts down]
Ho-ho! Now you're definitely getting fired.
Tylor
You're the one who kept push-push-pushing. He's firing you!
Fritz is gonna be so upset.
Tylor
[sighs] Yeah, I better fix this thing.
Whoa, no-no-no-no-no. You can't fix anything, we've established that. I'll fix it, and you just stand there and be fired. [opens the circuit panel on Vendy Two and starts taking parts out]
Tylor
It says to call an authorized service center.
Authorized, schmauthorized. That's for amateurs like you. [gets electrocuted and topples over] Don't touch that yellow wire. Reroute this to that, tighten this, jiggly this thingie, and boom! Let's give this thing a try. [he and Tylor push Vendy Two back into place and she turns back on] There! Good as new. I'll just get rid of all this stuff. [moves the parts he took out under Vendy Two]
Wait-wait-wait-wait. What are those?
Ah, you know, extra parts. Bunch of doohickeys.
It's not gonna make any difference.
Oh, I think I need another Drooler Cooler pick-me-up. I've got a lot on my mind. [selects drinks] Oh, Spittle Splash flavor. That sounds scrumptious. [selects Spittle Splash and inserts his change; Vendy Two dispenses a box of Pop-Farts instead] Pop-Farts? I don't want Pop-Farts. [presses the exchange button; the machine roars and flashes "unleash the feast" then launches a soda right into Fritz stomach]
TVTylor and Val
Are you okay?
No! I got canned! There's something very wrong with that machine!
[Vendy Two goes haywire and starts launching food and drinks at the MIFTers]
[The MIFTers retreat into Fritz's office as Vendy Two continues to go crazy]
[Duncan is still trapped in Vendy 2]
PLEASE!! LEMME OUTTA HERE!!
Tylor
Okay. How?
Tylor
Me?
You may not be the best MIFTer at fixing stuff, but you're pretty good at breaking it.
Tylor
Thanks. I think.
So, get out there and fix-beak Vendy 2.
SOMEBODY LET ME OUT! IT'S NOT AS SPEACIOUS AS IT LOOKS!
Tylor
Time to get to work! [roars loudly and begins destroying Vendy 2]
Woah, he really would've made a great Scarer.
[Vendy 2 explodes; Tylor is holding Duncan]
I'll never remove a doohickey again. Ugh!
[because of profits going up, nobody in MIFT has to be let go; Tylor is setting up a surprise]
Morning, MIFTers! So, what's up?
I don't know. Tylor wouldn't let us in till you got here. [knocks on the door]
Tylor
Come on in. But cover your eyes. [the gang close their eyes] Alright, there you go, come on in. Yeah, yeah. Just over here. Careful, careful. Okay. Hold right there. Up, up! Keep'em closed. And open! [they opens their eyes to see that Tylor has put the original Vendy back together] Surprise!
More like blindly cobbled.
Tylor
Hey, look, I fixed something all by myself, and I kept all the doohickeys.
Uh-huh. Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, whatever.
Well, give it a try, Ty-Ty. Give it a try!
Tylor
Hi, Vendy! [inserts his change and presses a button]
MMIFTers
Bump-bump-bump, big bump! [Vendy dispenses a Drooler Cooler]
Tylor
One Drooler Cooler! [throws the drink to Fritz]
Who needs all those fancy flavors when I've got Drooler Cooler Classic?
And we get to keep classic Fritz.
Goodness, I feel just like Vendy, all fixed up and ready to work here at MIFT for years to come!
Tylor
Wouldn't want it any other way, Fritz.
Oh, yeah, cheers. Whatever.
[Monstropolis is hit with a heatwave.]
LLisa
[on TV] And in weather, it's icky and sticky here in Monstropolis, with high temperatures continuing over the next few days. Don?
DDon
Thanks, Lisa. As you can see, in nearby Monstrocity, it's already well into 200s, with humidity at 140%.
Tylor
[chuckles] This is a good one. Hey, Duncan, who's that right next to you, huh, huh? [referring to Duncan's oscillating fan] That's your biggest fan.
[sarcastically] Oh, wow. Don't quit your day job, College [his fan blows on his face] Booooooy.
Phew! That machine shop's hot, but nearly as hot as my former husbands. Pierre, Sheldon, oh, Ricardo.
Heads up! [tosses Tylor a Drooler Cooler]
Tylor
Whew! Thanks, Val.
No problem. [camera shows Val making a huge stack of Drooler Coolers] Just finishing off my Drooler Cooler Tower of Coolness.
[a work order is launched from the mail chute and ricochets around until it knocks over the Tower of Coolness, revealing Fritz to be inside]
Aw. Just when it was getting cool.
LLisa
Sounds like it'll be monstrously hot today. [laughs] Right, Don? Don? [the camera shows Don has melted on the news desk] Somebody get a mop!
[all comedy class participants have reported to the Laugh Floor]
Attention! Now, listen to me. I don't care if it's a giggle, a chortle, a guffaw, a tee-hee, we need laugh energy, and we need it now. Mary, all five eyes on me. Chuck all four arms at your side. Kaitlyn, you ooze, you lose. You may not be official jokesters, but power demand is high. So your mission, make kids laugh!
Tylor
[whispers to Karla] This is awesome.
I brought my liquid-emitting flower.
Tylor
Sir!
Tylor
Yes, sir! I'm very funny, sir!
My nana talks funnier than that!
Tylor
[in a baby voice] Yes, sir! I'm very funny, sir!
Y'know, actually, that's pretty funny.
Tylor
That was my baby voice. I've been working on it for a while.
Y'know, you should use that on the Laugh Floor.
Mike, how long do I have to hold you like this?
Oh, sorry, Sulley. PROPS!!
[Adorable shows Tylor his ice sculpture collection]
Yeah, ice sculptures. You gotta have a hobby. Well, in this case, it's more of an art. I call this one Yak in Winter Three.
Tylor
Yeah. I... I'm sorry, how did I end up hanging upside down?
Oh, you fainted. Yeah, I had to get the blood to your head.
Tylor
Yeah, I recognize you.
Anyway, Yak in Winter One and Two, now they were equally impressive. [chuckles and turns on his chainsaw] Wanna try it? Watch your fingers. Don't breathe in the fumes.
Tylor
No, no, no!
Come on! What are you afraid of?
Tylor
You! I'm afraid of you.
Tylor
You're Abominable. You were banished!
"Abominable"? Oh, why can't they call me the "Adorable Snowman"? And why "snowman", huh? I'm not made of snow. I'm not even a man.
Tylor
If you're here, and I'm here, [realizes] That was a banishment door.
[Val tracks down Tylor and finds him with Adorable]
Tylor
Val?
[scared] Y-y-y-y-you're the...
I heard you ate some guy in Monster Resources.
I didn't eat Dale. Dale quit. Went to school to become a massage therapist. Which I'm like, "You need a school for that?"
Uh, yeah. Nine months. And a lot of money.
But now, I got some friends that understand me.
Hey! I'll get some games. We can play Pin the Tail on a Yak or Name That Yak or Yakopoly!
Yakopoly? I love games, too.
Tylor
Okay, we gotta get back. Let's go, let's go.
Tylor
Stay? What? No.
Tylor
You wanna spend the rest of your life here?!
Please, can we stay? Please, please, please, please, please...
Tylor
No. No. No!
Monsters at Work · 69 quotes
