[Tylor Tuskmon has succeeded in the scare simulator]
Tylor[first lines] Well, Professor Knight, how'd I do?
PKProf. Knight
[chuckles] How'd you do?! Not even James P. Sullivan himself ever scored this high!
Tylor
Wait, really?
PKProf. Knight
You're quite the Scarer, Mr. Tuskmon.
Tylor
Thank you, sir.
PKProf. Knight
And when you get to Monsters, Incorporated... Oh, the screams you generate alone will power half of Monstropolis.
Tylor
[chuckles nervously] You mean if I go to Monsters, Incorporated.
PKProf. Knight
No. [pulls out an envelope] When. [hands Tylor the envelope]
Tylor
What's, uh...
PKProf. Knight
Go on. Open it.
[Tylor opens the envelope and pulls out a letter]
Tylor
"Dear Mr. Tuskmon. Monsters, Incorporated is pleased to offer you the position of Scarer!"
PKProf. Knight
[laughs] Straight to the top!
Tylor
"Please arrive Monday morning at 9:00 a.m. to receive your scare assignment. Sincerely, Henry J. Waternoose III, CEO, Monsters, Incorporated." I did it.
PKProf. Knight
You're gonna be a Scarer!
Tylor
[excited] I'm gonna be a Scarer.
[Tylor, learning that Monsters, Inc. no longer needs Scarers, has to go through new employee orientation; a training video is played as Mr. Crummyham pauses it, then resumes it each time]
FNFemale Narrator
This is Monsters, Incorporated, where we scare because we care.
[pauses the video] Actually, we don't scare anymore. Now we're laugh power. Sorry about that. [resumes the video]
FNFemale Narrator
Every day on each of our state-of-the-art Scare Floors...
[pauses the video] Laugh Floors. [resumes the video]
FNFemale Narrator
..our elite team of Scarers...
[pauses the video] Jokesters. [resumes the video]
FNFemale Narrator
...help support the mission of our esteemed CEO's... [video shows an image of Waternoose]
[pauses the video] No longer esteemed! [pretending to throat-slash Waternoose] Headed off to the big house! [resumes the video]
FNFemale Narrator
...mission, to create scare energy...
FNFemale Narrator
...and scare power...
FNFemale Narrator
...by scaring...
Laughing! [stops the video] You know what? Forget it. Let's just move on.
Tylor
Wait a minute. You're saying you're no longer hiring Scarers?
[Tylor is on his way to MIFT; Val passes by him but then backs to get a closer look at him]
Tylor
Uh...
Tylor
Uh...
Tylor Tuskmon, right? Am I right? Those horns, dead giveaway, 'cause they're so...
Tylor
Yes. Sorry. Do I, uh...
Val Little. Monsters University. Freshman Year. We had that Origins of Fear class together. Yawn.
Tylor
Origins...
Tylor
Yeah, I guess, it was just such a large class. You work here? When did you graduate?
College, eh... it was an interesting detour. Too much of a commitment. Not really the whole regimented, stuffed shirt, college-scene type of gal. Blech! Well, what've you been up to?
Tylor
Graduating from college.
Tylor
Yeah, it's great.
Except for the loan debt, right? Ka-ching! For you it'd probably be like ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching! 'Cause you graduated. For me it was like... ka-ching.
Tylor
Yeah, and the fact that this place is no longer hiring Scarers. I mean, I got this letter saying that I was gonna be a Scarer, but now they've assigned me to, what... MIFT?
MIFT?! [gasps excitedly] That's where I work! Hop in, I'll take you!
[Tylor arrives at MIFT Headquarters]
Hey, everybody, meet the new guy! Tylor Tuskmon.
Tylor
Hi.
We were best buds in college.
Tylor
We just had that one class together.
Yeah, but it was special.
Tylor
We didn't actually speak. Hi, everyone, just to be clear, I was told this was a temporary assignment.
Well, we'll see about that, won't we? I'm Fritz. OH, they said they were sending over a new MIFTer.
Tylor
Sorry, what exactly is "MIFT"?
Oh, now you done it. [brings over a chair for Fritz to stand on; Duncan plays dramatic music on his stereo]
Since the day Monsters, Inc. was founded, there has been a need. A need for a dedicated team of mechanics to nurture the intricate machinery that is the foundation of this factory. No matter how arduous or difficult the repair might be, MIFT is there to tighten the bolts, unclog the pipes, wrench the nut! We embrace it with, uh... We embrace it with...
With unbridled anticipation.
There you go! Unbridled participation of what challenge lies ahead. And at the end of the day, we each say, "I'm proud!" [Banana Bread sputters] "I am proud to be a member of the Monsters, Inc. Facilities Team!"
[Duncan stops the music while Cutter throws confetti]
For the record, I've never actually said that.
[Tylor has a private conversation with Duncan]
Look, I get it. First impressions, everybody seems a little bit crazy, right? Y'know, down here where there's no daylight and the reptitive din of machinery is forever hammering into your brain. But look, the MIFT team, they mean well, alright? You're gonna warm up to'em, I promise.
Tylor
I just don't...
TDTylor and Duncan
...belong here.
Tylor
Yes! Exactly!
You and me, we see eye to eyes.
Tylor
It's nice to finally meet somebody who gets it. I'm sorry. I didn't get your name.
Oh! Hey, sorry. The name's Duncan.
Tylor
Hi, Duncan.
But people around here refer to me as [seriously] "Deputy Supervisor." [closes the door] You know why? Because when Fritz retires or dies, I'm takin' his job. So you can forget about your little College Boy plan...
Tylor
Wait, what?
...of waltzing in here and taking what's rightfully mine, you understand?
Tylor
No, there's no...
Tylor
I have no interest at all in Fritz's job.
Oh, so that's how you wanna play the game, is it?
Tylor
No, no, honestly, no games. I'm not playing a game.
I'm just a pawn in the way of you becoming king. A little itty-bitty pawn that's gonna get knocked off the board. Ping!
Tylor
What? No, no pawn.
Tylor
There's no ping! Nothing's pinging!
I'm onto you. [flies towards a dark corner of the room] I'm onto you.
Tylor
Okay. So if there's nothing else, I'm gonna...
[whispers scarily] Onto you. [Tylor backs up into the door] Yooooooouuuuuu.... [Tylor exits the room]
[Tylor is sitting alone at the entrance of Monsters, Inc. where he crumples up the letter he received and throws it aside where it lands in the trash can Needleman and Smitty are rolling]
Shut up, Smitty. Can't you see he wants to be alone? He's depressed.
If you're a scary monster like him, now what do you do? Unless you can make a kid laugh, you got no future.
Shut up! He can still hear you.
Tylor
Make a kid laugh...
[when trying to make a kid laugh, Tylor accidentally wreaked havoc that wrecked a Laugh Floor]
Tylor
I am so sorry, Mr. Sullivan. Mr. Wazowski. I, uh, appreciate the opportunity that I have completely blown. You'll never see me again.
Hold it! You're Tylor Tuskmon, aren't you?
Tylor
Uh, yes. Yes, I am. How did you know?
Who do you think recommended you for the job? You graduated top of you class, even broke my record in the simulation room.
Tylor
Ah, yeah. Well... What can I say? I seem to be pretty good at breaking things lately.
It's been a rough day for all of us.
Yep. Everything's changing.
Laugh power instead of scare power. Me and Mike in charge. And I guess they're gonna have to change the old MU School of Scaring to the College of Comedy.
Comedy college... Right! Sulley, you're a genius! And seeing that I am the official SCPOMICE-VDADOCREM, I'm making an executive decision to begin Monster, Inc. Comedy Classes, featuring Professor Me! I'll each all you scary monsters how to be funny.
Tylor
What?
'Cause I know what it's like once you've stepped across that line. You'd do anything to be on this floor.
Tylor
So I actually have a chance of becoming a Jokester?
Mike and I, we worked our way up from the mailroom. So anything's possible.
Tylor
No more scaring. Now it's, uh, laughter you're after.
Bingo! Our new slogan! "It's Laughter We're After."
FVFamiliar voice
Wazowski!
[looks over at Roz's old counter to a monster, similar to Roz, but with red hair] Roz?
Wake me up, Sulley. I've having a horrible nightmare. One where you actually smell things.
They just delivered the new kid's hat and ID.
[Tylor puts on his new hat and ID tag]
And from now on, call me Sulley.
[The MIFT crew arrives]
Whoa, what happened here? Sure know how to make an impression.
Where'd you go? I thought you were getting us appreciation donuts.
[whispers] Remember, I'm onto you.
Tylor, welcome to Monsters, Incorporated.
[Tylor has just helped MIFT fix a door station and save Mike]
Another laugh canister... filled. [falls asleep]
Only took him two hours to burn through all 36 1/2 hours of energy.
[puts a blanket over Mike] Aww, let's just let him sleep. Great job, MIFT. And thank you, Tylor.
Tylor
No, no, no. It was a team effort, really. Really.
Well, they couldn't have done it without you.
You did it! You wrenched the heck out of that nut.
You finished your first job as a MIFTer.
This calls for a celebration!
[Fritz is playing desktop football]
The crowd is breathless as he's going for the longest kick in the season. And here's the field goal to win... There goes footsie ball!
[as soon as Fritz flicks the paper football, the work order flings it away from the goal]
Oh. You win again, empty chair.
Y'know, us hanging out here, all hangin' out and stuff, reminds me of all those times we hung out at MU.
Tylor
Did we hang?
Tylor
I'm pretty sure we had that, just one class together.
What did you do to the door?
Tylor
Nothing. I closed it.
You were the last one to touch it.
Tylor
So? This isn't my fault.
Explain why this door deactivated for no reason.
Tylor
You keep distracting me with [mocking Val] "This reminds of this time...", And you remember the time we blah-blah-blah...", And that time we... [speaks gibberish]
This reminds me of that time...
Tylor
There! See? See? How many times do I have to tell you, I. Don't. Remember. Why is it so important to you?
[sighs] Because... Because... When I first got to MU, no one noticed me. And then... one day in class, you spoke to me. [sniffles] You said, "Excuse me. Is this seat taken?"
[Back at the Laugh Floor, Cutter notices the door deactivated]
Huh. Door's deactivated. That can't be good. [turns the door back on] You guys know the door got turned off?
[gasps] A rescue party! [pushes past Tylor and Val] Outta the way, subordinates. Oh, I just need to breathe some stale air. [inhales deeply]
Tylor
Whew. That was close. But we, uh, we got through it, didn't we? Heheh.
[sadly] Like our Origins of Fear class. But you don't remember me.
Tylor
Hm. "You picked the best seat in the house."
Tylor
When I asked, "Is this seat taken?" You... You said, "You picked the best seat in the house."
Tylor
Yeah. You, uh, you even shared your Hot Snots candy with me. [chuckles] I remember that because it's, uh, it's my favorite.
Tylor
College buds. Yeah. Hey, but look at us now. Makin' new memories.
Tylor
Yeah. Work buds. Why not?
Hey, I know where Duncan hides his Hot Snots.
Tylor
Really? Where?
Tylor
Oh. Oh, that. No.
Tylor
No. That's not candy.
Yeah. That's definitely candy!
Tylor
No, that's...
It's candy, and we're gonna eat it.
Tylor
Don't eat it.
[They drive off back to MIFT Headquarters]
[Tylor asks Fritz if he knows bowlers that could compete against Gary's team]
Do I know bowlers? Yes, I know bowlers! They don't call me "No Splitz Fritz" for nothing.
Tylor
They... They call you that?
Tylor
Huh. I've never heard them call you that.
Welly, they do, they do, they do. And we've got Pin-Pal Val over there and No-Gutter Cutter. Hmm, Duncan doesn't play, but he loves the snachos.
Tylor
Huh, well, that is great news.
Tylor
No, no, that you guys play. That's... Wow. Have you ever thought about forming a team?
Tylor
Yeah, sure. And maybe, I don't know, entering the Bowl-off-a-thon?
Form a team... The Bowl-off-a-thon... Ha, ha! Oh, I know what you're doing.
Tylor
[nervously] You do?
Yeah, you're falling in love with us. [chuckles]
Tylor
I... am doing that. I'm doing what you just said. I am in love, yes.
Yeah, you could be the team captain.
Tylor
Totally. Yeah, yeah. A chance for me to bond with you guys.
Tylor
Other than, of course, my actual family that I also have.
Tylor
Work friends?
How about the "family that lives next door who's a little weird, but you still tell them when you're going on vacation, so they can get your mail" family?
Tylor
Sure. Yeah. We'll go with that.
[Tylor finds out that MIFT are awful bowlers, but they win the first two rounds by default; Tylor is told by Duncan to meet with him in private]
Tylor
Hey, Duncan. You know the signs says "secert."
[in a deep voice] I'm not Duncan.
Tylor
Well, now you're just doing a voice.
[in a high-pitched voice] I'm not Duncan.
Tylor
What are we doing here, buddy?
[with a German accent] It's a mystery voice. Ah?
Tylor
Okay, that's fine. Whatever voice.
[Needleman and Smitty appear]
Hey, Duncan. You done with your "secert room"?
Come on. We need our trashcan.
Turn the light off, you idiots! Ugh! [Needleman turns off the light and runs out with Smitty] Get out! Where were we?
Tylor
Pro bowlers.
DDucan
Uh... [in an ominous voice] The Overnighters. Yes. The third shift. The kind of monsters that monsters fear. They'll get you your win. And your jokester dream will come true.
Tylor
Great, great. And... but just... Sorry. What do you get out of it?
Just want you to sign a little contract. We'll call it a written agreement.
Tylor
That's... literally what a contract is.
An agreement that stipulates that you will not in any way hereto now, with, or henceforth forward in perpetuity pursue Fritz's job.
Tylor
Duncan, I told you the day I got...
Tylor
I do not care about Fritz's job. I don't want the job.
But now it's legally binded.
Tylor
Cool. Fine. Just stop with the voice. Whatever. I'll sign it. Just get me the bowlers, okay? [signs Duncan's contract] There!
[the lights go on again]
No! I'm not done! You said you wouldn't be back until 5:47! Get out!
Oh, but we have Fright Club in here.
Don't tell him that! Did you forget the first rule of Fright Club?! [turns off the light and leaves]
[MIFT finds out that Tylor has replaced them with the Overnighters; but the Overnighters leave, disgusted that Tylor betrayed his original team]
Tylor
Sorry, Mike. I just... I just wanted to impress you. And all I really ended up doing was... [sighs] ...was hurting my team. I really let you guys down, and I'm sorry. I guess we... I guess I have to forfeit.
Whoa, looks like the Big Wazowskis forfeit, which means the winner is--
Wait! You said "team." You're right. We are the Monsters, Inc. Facilities Team. And when you're part of a team, you stand up for your teammates. And regardless of what they do, unless it's illegal and would make you an accomplice to a crime, which I have learned the hard way, you remain loyal. By their side. Through the... Well, you know, through the...
Tylor
Good and the bad?
The good in the bag because you know they would do the same for you. So, Tylor, I have a question for you, young MIFTer. Are you part of our team?
Tylor
Well, I mean, I'm more than part of the team. I'm the team captain. And you know what? I will lead us to victory. Because we are MIFT. We are the Big Wazowskis.
But, Tylor can I remind you that we pee-ew stink?
Tylor
Well, then, we're just gonna have to stink our way to victory.
Okay, everybody, are you ready? 'Cause it's time to play...
FVFritz, Val, and Cutter
Wheel of Temporary Supervisor! [they spin the wheel]
Today's my lucky day, Roto. Can you feel it? Can you feel it?! Yes, yes, yes!
Tylor
Wait, why is my name on there?
When Fritz goes on vacation, the wheel picks a temporary supervisor.
Yeah, but I see the ambition in your eyes, College Boy. You'd just love to have me under your thumb, squishing me with your little temporary supervisor thumb.
Tylor
Thumb? What are you... I've told you, Duncan. I have no interest in Fritz's job, okay?
Tylor
I signed your ridiculous contract.
Right. Like a two-faced charlatan like you would honor a contract.
Tylor
Two-face... What are you talking about?
Come on, come on, come on! Let's go, wheel! Mama needs a temporary promotion!
Come on, come on, come on!
[the wheel lands on Val's name]
Congratulations, Temporary Supervisor Val.
Oh, I have so many fun things planned for my employees: Mindfulness Mondays, Tamale Tuesdays, Waffle Wednesdays, Friendly French Fry Fridays.
What next, yoga? Uh-uh. Neither me nor my schedule is flexible.
Yeah, yeah, let's hear it for Val. So much for my humble dream of being temporary supervisor. [about to throw his nameplate in the trash] I'll just throw away the only thing I've ever wanted in my insignificant life. [he throws his nameplate in the trash but it hits the edge and knocks the can over] Ah, great. I can't even throw away my dreams right.
Tylor
Huh. Kinda goes against my better judgement, but I actually feel a little sorry for him.
[on the phone] Yeah. Yeah, Mom, you know how you always told me, "Dreams can come true"? Heh. Yeah, well, uh, I learned today that they can't. No, don't cry. Don't cry, Mom. I tried my best. I did. I did.
[Val tips the wheel over to Duncan's name out of sympathy]
Huh? Looks like I made an oopsie. The temporary supervisor is Duncan!
Me? Moi? The fates have chosen. Well, uh, Mr. Fritz, sir, there's, of course, no way I can match your robust managerial skills, blah-blah-blah, but I will do my best to make you proud, sir, and, uh, supervise the team.
Monsters at Work · 69 quotes
