[Tylor is on his way to MIFT; Val passes by him but then backs to get a closer look at him]
ValTylor!
Val
Tylor Tuskmon, right? Am I right? Those horns, dead giveaway, 'cause they're so...
Val
Val Little. Monsters University. Freshman Year. We had that Origins of Fear class together. Yawn.
Val
Yawn.
Yeah, I guess, it was just such a large class. You work here? When did you graduate?
Val
College, eh... it was an interesting detour. Too much of a commitment. Not really the whole regimented, stuffed shirt, college-scene type of gal. Blech! Well, what've you been up to?
Val
Good for you!
Val
Except for the loan debt, right? Ka-ching! For you it'd probably be like ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching! 'Cause you graduated. For me it was like... ka-ching.
Yeah, and the fact that this place is no longer hiring Scarers. I mean, I got this letter saying that I was gonna be a Scarer, but now they've assigned me to, what... MIFT?
Val
MIFT?! [gasps excitedly] That's where I work! Hop in, I'll take you!
[Tylor arrives at MIFT Headquarters]
Val
Hey, everybody, meet the new guy! Tylor Tuskmon.
Val
We were best buds in college.
We just had that one class together.
Val
Yeah, but it was special.
We didn't actually speak. Hi, everyone, just to be clear, I was told this was a temporary assignment.
Well, we'll see about that, won't we? I'm Fritz. OH, they said they were sending over a new MIFTer.
Sorry, what exactly is "MIFT"?
Oh, now you done it. [brings over a chair for Fritz to stand on; Duncan plays dramatic music on his stereo]
Since the day Monsters, Inc. was founded, there has been a need. A need for a dedicated team of mechanics to nurture the intricate machinery that is the foundation of this factory. No matter how arduous or difficult the repair might be, MIFT is there to tighten the bolts, unclog the pipes, wrench the nut! We embrace it with, uh... We embrace it with...
With unbridled anticipation.
There you go! Unbridled participation of what challenge lies ahead. And at the end of the day, we each say, "I'm proud!" [Banana Bread sputters] "I am proud to be a member of the Monsters, Inc. Facilities Team!"
[Duncan stops the music while Cutter throws confetti]
For the record, I've never actually said that.
[when trying to make a kid laugh, Tylor accidentally wreaked havoc that wrecked a Laugh Floor]
I am so sorry, Mr. Sullivan. Mr. Wazowski. I, uh, appreciate the opportunity that I have completely blown. You'll never see me again.
Hold it! You're Tylor Tuskmon, aren't you?
Uh, yes. Yes, I am. How did you know?
Who do you think recommended you for the job? You graduated top of you class, even broke my record in the simulation room.
Ah, yeah. Well... What can I say? I seem to be pretty good at breaking things lately.
It's been a rough day for all of us.
Yep. Everything's changing.
Laugh power instead of scare power. Me and Mike in charge. And I guess they're gonna have to change the old MU School of Scaring to the College of Comedy.
Comedy college... Right! Sulley, you're a genius! And seeing that I am the official SCPOMICE-VDADOCREM, I'm making an executive decision to begin Monster, Inc. Comedy Classes, featuring Professor Me! I'll each all you scary monsters how to be funny.
'Cause I know what it's like once you've stepped across that line. You'd do anything to be on this floor.
So I actually have a chance of becoming a Jokester?
Mike and I, we worked our way up from the mailroom. So anything's possible.
No more scaring. Now it's, uh, laughter you're after.
Bingo! Our new slogan! "It's Laughter We're After."
FVFamiliar voice
Wazowski!
[looks over at Roz's old counter to a monster, similar to Roz, but with red hair] Roz?
Wake me up, Sulley. I've having a horrible nightmare. One where you actually smell things.
They just delivered the new kid's hat and ID.
[Tylor puts on his new hat and ID tag]
And from now on, call me Sulley.
[The MIFT crew arrives]
Val
Whoa, what happened here? Sure know how to make an impression.
Where'd you go? I thought you were getting us appreciation donuts.
[whispers] Remember, I'm onto you.
Tylor, welcome to Monsters, Incorporated.
[Tylor storms to comedy class after Duncan tries to harm him with a faulty scream canister just as Fritz and Val bring out a piñata in Tylor's likeness]
FVFritz and Val
[singing] Piñata time, piñata time, olé!
[they both realize Tylor's gone]
Val
Val
Duncan, what did you do?
[Banana Bread starts blowing raspberries and points at Duncan accusingly]
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't listen to him, okay? He's exaggerating. I didn't try to kill him. The rookie couldn't change a simple valve.
Val
But where did he go?
I dunno. He said something about a comedy class. I don't keep the schedule.
Val
Comedy class? He didn't say anything about a comedy class.
I don't understand. I tried so hard to make him feel welcome here. I gave him a desk, a nameplate, and look, he never even drank his Drooler Cooler. Sad sigh.
[Tylor has just helped MIFT fix a door station and save Mike]
Another laugh canister... filled. [falls asleep]
Only took him two hours to burn through all 36 1/2 hours of energy.
[puts a blanket over Mike] Aww, let's just let him sleep. Great job, MIFT. And thank you, Tylor.
No, no, no. It was a team effort, really. Really.
Well, they couldn't have done it without you.
Val
You did it! You wrenched the heck out of that nut.
You finished your first job as a MIFTer.
Val
Yeah!
This calls for a celebration!
[Fritz is playing desktop football]
The crowd is breathless as he's going for the longest kick in the season. And here's the field goal to win... There goes footsie ball!
[as soon as Fritz flicks the paper football, the work order flings it away from the goal]
Oh. You win again, empty chair.
Val
Y'know, us hanging out here, all hangin' out and stuff, reminds me of all those times we hung out at MU.
Val
Yep!
I'm pretty sure we had that, just one class together.
[Tylor and Val realize they need to take the baby out of the room so her parents won't find out about them]
Baby?! We have to take the baby out?!
Val
Just while we make the repairs.
Nope. No kids allowed in Monsters, Inc. or Monstropolis.
If she wakes up and the parents catch us, boom! Dead door.
Wait, wait, what if I take her out and keep her asleep--
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Not after what happened last time with Boo. Remember? [imitates Sulley] "Ooklay in the agbay."
TTyler
[whispers to Val] Is he speaking French?
Our lives were almost ruined.
If we can't fix it in time, we got ourselves a dead door.
Yes, me. You see, Sulley, there's a difference between you and me.
Yeah. I'm tall and you're short.
Awesome horns, little nubs.
No! And stop it! Unlike you, Sulley, I can control my feelings. I'm immune to kids' cuteness.
Val
What did you do to the door?
Val
You were the last one to touch it.
Val
Explain why this door deactivated for no reason.
You keep distracting me with [mocking Val] "This reminds of this time...", And you remember the time we blah-blah-blah...", And that time we... [speaks gibberish]
Val
This reminds me of that time...
There! See? See? How many times do I have to tell you, I. Don't. Remember. Why is it so important to you?
Val
[sighs] Because... Because... When I first got to MU, no one noticed me. And then... one day in class, you spoke to me. [sniffles] You said, "Excuse me. Is this seat taken?"
[Back at the Laugh Floor, Cutter notices the door deactivated]
Huh. Door's deactivated. That can't be good. [turns the door back on] You guys know the door got turned off?
[gasps] A rescue party! [pushes past Tylor and Val] Outta the way, subordinates. Oh, I just need to breathe some stale air. [inhales deeply]
Whew. That was close. But we, uh, we got through it, didn't we? Heheh.
Val
[sadly] Like our Origins of Fear class. But you don't remember me.
Hm. "You picked the best seat in the house."
Val
What?
When I asked, "Is this seat taken?" You... You said, "You picked the best seat in the house."
Val
You do remember.
Yeah. You, uh, you even shared your Hot Snots candy with me. [chuckles] I remember that because it's, uh, it's my favorite.
Val
[sighs] College buds.
College buds. Yeah. Hey, but look at us now. Makin' new memories.
Val
Work buds.
Yeah. Work buds. Why not?
Val
Hey, I know where Duncan hides his Hot Snots.
Val
Under Roto's cage.
Val
I eat it all the time.
Val
Yeah. That's definitely candy!
Val
It's candy, and we're gonna eat it.
Val
Work buds.
[They drive off back to MIFT Headquarters]
Okay, everybody, are you ready? 'Cause it's time to play...
FVFritz, Val, and Cutter
Wheel of Temporary Supervisor! [they spin the wheel]
Today's my lucky day, Roto. Can you feel it? Can you feel it?! Yes, yes, yes!
Wait, why is my name on there?
When Fritz goes on vacation, the wheel picks a temporary supervisor.
Yeah, but I see the ambition in your eyes, College Boy. You'd just love to have me under your thumb, squishing me with your little temporary supervisor thumb.
Thumb? What are you... I've told you, Duncan. I have no interest in Fritz's job, okay?
I signed your ridiculous contract.
Right. Like a two-faced charlatan like you would honor a contract.
Two-face... What are you talking about?
Val
Come on, come on, come on! Let's go, wheel! Mama needs a temporary promotion!
Val
Come on, come on, come on!
[the wheel lands on Val's name]
Val
Yes! That's me!
Congratulations, Temporary Supervisor Val.
Val
Oh, I have so many fun things planned for my employees: Mindfulness Mondays, Tamale Tuesdays, Waffle Wednesdays, Friendly French Fry Fridays.
What next, yoga? Uh-uh. Neither me nor my schedule is flexible.
Yeah, yeah, let's hear it for Val. So much for my humble dream of being temporary supervisor. [about to throw his nameplate in the trash] I'll just throw away the only thing I've ever wanted in my insignificant life. [he throws his nameplate in the trash but it hits the edge and knocks the can over] Ah, great. I can't even throw away my dreams right.
Huh. Kinda goes against my better judgement, but I actually feel a little sorry for him.
[on the phone] Yeah. Yeah, Mom, you know how you always told me, "Dreams can come true"? Heh. Yeah, well, uh, I learned today that they can't. No, don't cry. Don't cry, Mom. I tried my best. I did. I did.
[Val tips the wheel over to Duncan's name out of sympathy]
Val
Uh, Fritz?
Huh? Looks like I made an oopsie. The temporary supervisor is Duncan!
Me? Moi? The fates have chosen. Well, uh, Mr. Fritz, sir, there's, of course, no way I can match your robust managerial skills, blah-blah-blah, but I will do my best to make you proud, sir, and, uh, supervise the team.
Val
Tylor! You're not gonna believe this. Power's out all over Monstropolis. A M.E.R.C investigator is on his way. Heads are gonna roll... [notices the mess in the canister room] Whoa. What happened?
[in time with Duncan] Duncan did it.
[in time with Tylor] College Boy did it.
Val
It sounds like you're all accountable.
So are you! If it wasn't for you, Duncan wouldn't even be supervisor.
I'm not losing my pension over this.
Well, I'm not losing my shot at the Laugh Floor!
Okay, okay, alright. The only way to save our jobs is to hide all the evidence and make sure nobody ever finds out the truth.
Val
I don't know, Duncan. Sounds like you're suggesting a cover-up.
No! It's not a cover-up. Just a thing where we all conspire to avoid accountability for our actions.
No! Why is this concept so difficult to grasp? Not a cover-up.
[MIFT hides the unconscious Argus in the vacation door]
Val
Uh, guys? I am pretty sure disposing of a body may be another banishable offense.
That was the only thing we could do, okay? His work-life balance was totally out of whack, alright? Duncan?
Right, right. College Boy is right. So, we need to make a pact. None of us will ever speak of this again. We take this to our graves. Nobody saw nothin'.
Ahem! [points to Argus' sentient eyeballs]
[whispers] Shh. We need to close the case.
[two weeks later, Cutter activates the vacation door; Argus comes out with a tan line wearing a Hawaiian shirt]
That was, without a doubt... [happily] the best vacation of my life! Wow!
[comes out the door] I believe it, Argus. 'Cause you really needed to unwind. You're very wound.
So, uh, you're doing okay?
I'm more than okay. Sipping creepy coladas, napping beneath the palms, cha-chaing the night away.
Argus? You're still here?
Yeah, I thought you left two weeks ago.
Oh, no, no, no. I took a little time off. I have your MIFT crew to thank.
You are welcome. And that is the last we will speak of it.
Well, of course, I will be writing all of you up, but just a warning this time. Goodbye, Mr. Laugh Energy. [leaves]
[sighs] That was too close. We were nearly shut down.
You caused a major power outage, conspired to cover it up, and if that weren't enough, attempted to bribe a M.E.R.C. official.
Stay on point, Sulley, stay on point.
Is all this true? Duncan?
[sighs in defeat] Yes, sir.
Val
Oh, this is all my fault. I tipped the wheel so that Duncan could be temporary supervisor.
Well, regardless of how he became temporary supervisor, it all happened on your watch, Duncan.
And any of these accusations is grounds for dismissal.
Dismissal? Um... Temporary supervisor's, uh... [sniffles] Well, he's gotta go down with his temporary ship... I guess. So, uh, Mr. Sullivan, Mr. Wazowski...
I'm sorry, I... I'm the one that caused the outage, okay? Duncan, he was just trying to be a good supervisor. So if anyone deserves to be dismissed, it's me.
No, no, no. The power outage and, you know, all the other stuff, that was my fault, too. Though I am significantly less at fault than him.
Hmm. I am so proud of you two. Not only have you displayed that get-along MIFTer spirit, you've shown that you're willing to sacrifice one another.
TDTylor and Duncan
"Sacrifice for one another"?
That, too. So, Mr. W, Mr. S, what do you way we forget all the dismissal jumbo-mumbo-bumbo-bimble?
Speaking of dismissal mumbo jumbo, what about that "against company policy" vacation door?
Taken care of, Sulley. I'm having it shredded.
Mr. Wazowski, we're here to take the vacation door to your office.
[Mike chuckles nervously]
[Tylor tries to buy a drink from a vending machine, but it stops working]
Oh, uh, hey, Val? There's something wrong with this old machine here. I think it might be broken.
Val
That's more than an old machine, Double T. I told you, her name's Vendy.
Right, right. Forgot it has a name.
Val
She has a name.
Val
Fritz named her. She's as much a MIFTer as any of us. And a little moody sometimes. So, all you gotta do is say, "Hi, Vendy!" Like that.
Oh, okay. Sure. Uh, hi, Vendy.
Val
Good. Now bump the left side with your fist. [does exactly what she said three times] Bump-bump-bump. Then wait a beat, big bump! [rams Vendy with his shoulder]
Bump-bump-bump, wait a beat, big bump. Got it. Okay, thanks.
Val
Yep.
Don't bump too hard. Few years back, Nathan in marketing shook her and bam! Squashed him like a bug. He's an invertebrate, so he was okay. And we got free candy, so, heh... [walks away]
Oh, well, it's good to hear you got free candy. [chuckles] Okay, Vendy, here we go. [bumps the left side of Vendy with his fist] Bump-bump-bump, wait a beat, big bump! [rams Vendy with his shoulder, but accidentally shoves his horn into it, causing it to malfunction and spark out] Oh, no!
Val
What'd you do?!
Jumping gaskets! What's wrong with Vendy?!
I don't know! I just bumped it!
[Vendy starts sparking out]
Like I said, I think it's... [Vendy breaks down completely, unable to be working anymore] ...broken.
[MIFT is holding a funeral for Vendy]
Today, we mourn the passing of another very special member of our MIFT family, Vendy. [sobs sadly]
[confused] We're having a funeral for a vending machine?
Not just any vending machine. Vendy and I began our careers here at Monsters, Inc. on the very same day. Me, an ambitious young mechanic. Vendy, a machine with a dream of dispensing chilled drinks at an inflated price because of the convenience.
Val
[sobbing] SHE WAS WORTH IT!!
She wouldn't want us to cry. But instead, to [wheezes] celebrate... her life.
[Fritz and Val sob hysterically as Vendy is carted out of MIFT's office.]
Monsters at Work · 69 quotes
