[when trying to make a kid laugh, Tylor accidentally wreaked havoc that wrecked a Laugh Floor]
I am so sorry, Mr. Sullivan. Mr. Wazowski. I, uh, appreciate the opportunity that I have completely blown. You'll never see me again.
Hold it! You're Tylor Tuskmon, aren't you?
Uh, yes. Yes, I am. How did you know?
Who do you think recommended you for the job? You graduated top of you class, even broke my record in the simulation room.
Ah, yeah. Well... What can I say? I seem to be pretty good at breaking things lately.
It's been a rough day for all of us.
Yep. Everything's changing.
Laugh power instead of scare power. Me and Mike in charge. And I guess they're gonna have to change the old MU School of Scaring to the College of Comedy.
Comedy college... Right! Sulley, you're a genius! And seeing that I am the official SCPOMICE-VDADOCREM, I'm making an executive decision to begin Monster, Inc. Comedy Classes, featuring Professor Me! I'll each all you scary monsters how to be funny.
'Cause I know what it's like once you've stepped across that line. You'd do anything to be on this floor.
So I actually have a chance of becoming a Jokester?
Mike and I, we worked our way up from the mailroom. So anything's possible.
No more scaring. Now it's, uh, laughter you're after.
Bingo! Our new slogan! "It's Laughter We're After."
FVFamiliar voice
Wazowski!
[looks over at Roz's old counter to a monster, similar to Roz, but with red hair] Roz?
RozeThe name's Roze.
Wake me up, Sulley. I've having a horrible nightmare. One where you actually smell things.
Roze
They just delivered the new kid's hat and ID.
[Tylor puts on his new hat and ID tag]
And from now on, call me Sulley.
[The MIFT crew arrives]
Whoa, what happened here? Sure know how to make an impression.
Where'd you go? I thought you were getting us appreciation donuts.
[whispers] Remember, I'm onto you.
Roze
Tylor, welcome to Monsters, Incorporated.
[Mike has just finished filling a laugh cannister and is really tired]
You've been at this for 18 hours straight. You need a break.
Ah! A break? Sulley, I am personally powering Monstropolis. [points to the Laugh Record board] Look! First place, second place... fourth place? Uh, that Lanky and his spinning bowtie. We'll see who gets the last laugh, Lanky!
[Lanky twirls his bowtie]
Mike, you need to relax. Let the others handle it for a while.
I'm fine. I gotta keep the kids laughing. I got a gift, Sulley. You do not hide a gift like mine from my tiny, adoring friends... [falls asleep]
Well, if you're gonna keep the kids laughing, we'd better get you some coffee.
[Sulley carries Mike to the break room and pours him a cup of coffee]
Okay. Creamer, sugar. [pours the creamer and sugar into Mike's cup] Sugars, creamers, stir sticks. No stir sticks. Where is it? [looks around to see if anyone's looking and then takes Mikey's hand and uses his finger to stir his coffee; Mike wakes up as soon as Sulley gives him his coffee] There you go. That'll help.
Bleh, that's horrible. Tastes like someone's finger.
Roze
Wazowski! Better not fall asleep in your comedy class.
Oh, that's right. I'm teaching comedy class at lunch.
Mike, you can't keep going like this.
Actually, he can, Mr. Sullivan, with a little something called... [throws Mike an energy drink bottle] 36 1/2 Hour Energy drink.
Yeah, me and Needleman drink two of those when we run out of 73 Hour Energy drink.
It's twice as good as the 18 1/4 Hour Energy drink.
[Mike drinks the energy drink]
Yeah? I don't know. 36 1/2 hours sounds a lot of energy for such a little...
[Mike finishes off the energy drink and his pupil grows with energy]
Yes, the Bowl-off-a-thon. It's almost here, Fungus. The roll of the ball, the sound of a strike. And this year's prize, dinner for two at Harryhausen's.
Roze
No Bowl-off-a-thon for you, Wazowski.
Oh, hello, Roze. Now, what's this about me not bowling?
Roze
You've still got to do your paperwork.
Paperwork? No. How common. I'm in charge now. Y'know, the SCPOMICE-VDADOCREM. Fungus files my paperwork.
Roze
Not file, approve. [drops a big stack of paperwork in front of Mike] Now that you're in charge, you have to approve all the paperwork.
Roze
We're completely different.
[Mike's blue doppelganger, Gary, shows up]
Roze
Gary.
GGary
Mikey. Roze, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I wasn't able to finish up my paperwork last night. Y'know, I was busy practicing for the big Bowl-off-a-thon so that I could win... again. Heheh.
Roze
Don't you worry that cute little round head of yours. It's just paperwork.
[Mike is shocked]
GGary
Oh, Roze, you are the best.
Roze
No, you're the best. [shove the big stack of paperwork to Mike] Good luck, Gary.
[Fritz has been told that he has to fire one of the MIFTers by the end of the week due to budget cuts; Mike is looking for ways to boost morale without overextending Monsters Inc.'s budget]
Roze
You want me to tell you how to boost morale?
Yes, because you're "always watching." Or is it "always stinking"? I don't know. Whatever it is.
FMFemale monster
Ugh! No more coffee screamer?! What's the point?!
Roze
How about you approve your paperwork on time? That would make me smile. And I've been told I have an infectious grin. [smiles]
You sure this is gonna work?
Yeah, yeah. We'll buy him a Drooler Cooler, that'll cheer Fritz up, and you won't get fired.
Wait, what's wrong with Fritz?
Oh, uh, hey, Mike. I broke his favorite vending machine this morning...
Yeah, Vendy, yeah. I broke Vendy this morning and...
And he needs a new one! That's it! I got two words for ya: upgrades!
I think upgrades is one word.
The perfect way to boost morale. And if we boost morale, we boost laughs. And if we boost laughs, we boost profits. And nobody has to be let go! [whispers] Except maybe Stinky…
Roze
I heard that!
Monsters at Work · 69 quotes
