[Tylor is sitting alone at the entrance of Monsters, Inc. where he crumples up the letter he received and throws it aside where it lands in the trash can Needleman and Smitty are rolling]
NeedlemanShut up, Smitty. Can't you see he wants to be alone? He's depressed.
Needleman
If you're a scary monster like him, now what do you do? Unless you can make a kid laugh, you got no future.
Needleman
Shut up! He can still hear you.
[Mike has just finished filling a laugh cannister and is really tired]
You've been at this for 18 hours straight. You need a break.
Ah! A break? Sulley, I am personally powering Monstropolis. [points to the Laugh Record board] Look! First place, second place... fourth place? Uh, that Lanky and his spinning bowtie. We'll see who gets the last laugh, Lanky!
[Lanky twirls his bowtie]
Mike, you need to relax. Let the others handle it for a while.
I'm fine. I gotta keep the kids laughing. I got a gift, Sulley. You do not hide a gift like mine from my tiny, adoring friends... [falls asleep]
Well, if you're gonna keep the kids laughing, we'd better get you some coffee.
[Sulley carries Mike to the break room and pours him a cup of coffee]
Okay. Creamer, sugar. [pours the creamer and sugar into Mike's cup] Sugars, creamers, stir sticks. No stir sticks. Where is it? [looks around to see if anyone's looking and then takes Mikey's hand and uses his finger to stir his coffee; Mike wakes up as soon as Sulley gives him his coffee] There you go. That'll help.
Bleh, that's horrible. Tastes like someone's finger.
Wazowski! Better not fall asleep in your comedy class.
Oh, that's right. I'm teaching comedy class at lunch.
Mike, you can't keep going like this.
Needleman
Actually, he can, Mr. Sullivan, with a little something called... [throws Mike an energy drink bottle] 36 1/2 Hour Energy drink.
Yeah, me and Needleman drink two of those when we run out of 73 Hour Energy drink.
Needleman
It's twice as good as the 18 1/4 Hour Energy drink.
[Mike drinks the energy drink]
Yeah? I don't know. 36 1/2 hours sounds a lot of energy for such a little...
[Mike finishes off the energy drink and his pupil grows with energy]
[Tylor finds out that MIFT are awful bowlers, but they win the first two rounds by default; Tylor is told by Duncan to meet with him in private]
Hey, Duncan. You know the signs says "secert."
[in a deep voice] I'm not Duncan.
Well, now you're just doing a voice.
[in a high-pitched voice] I'm not Duncan.
What are we doing here, buddy?
[with a German accent] It's a mystery voice. Ah?
Okay, that's fine. Whatever voice.
[Needleman and Smitty appear]
Needleman
Hey, Duncan. You done with your "secert room"?
Needleman
Come on. We need our trashcan.
Turn the light off, you idiots! Ugh! [Needleman turns off the light and runs out with Smitty] Get out! Where were we?
DDucan
Uh... [in an ominous voice] The Overnighters. Yes. The third shift. The kind of monsters that monsters fear. They'll get you your win. And your jokester dream will come true.
Great, great. And... but just... Sorry. What do you get out of it?
Just want you to sign a little contract. We'll call it a written agreement.
That's... literally what a contract is.
An agreement that stipulates that you will not in any way hereto now, with, or henceforth forward in perpetuity pursue Fritz's job.
Duncan, I told you the day I got...
I do not care about Fritz's job. I don't want the job.
But now it's legally binded.
Cool. Fine. Just stop with the voice. Whatever. I'll sign it. Just get me the bowlers, okay? [signs Duncan's contract] There!
[the lights go on again]
No! I'm not done! You said you wouldn't be back until 5:47! Get out!
Oh, but we have Fright Club in here.
Needleman
Don't tell him that! Did you forget the first rule of Fright Club?! [turns off the light and leaves]
[MIFT finds out that Tylor has replaced them with the Overnighters; but the Overnighters leave, disgusted that Tylor betrayed his original team]
Sorry, Mike. I just... I just wanted to impress you. And all I really ended up doing was... [sighs] ...was hurting my team. I really let you guys down, and I'm sorry. I guess we... I guess I have to forfeit.
Needleman
Whoa, looks like the Big Wazowskis forfeit, which means the winner is--
Wait! You said "team." You're right. We are the Monsters, Inc. Facilities Team. And when you're part of a team, you stand up for your teammates. And regardless of what they do, unless it's illegal and would make you an accomplice to a crime, which I have learned the hard way, you remain loyal. By their side. Through the... Well, you know, through the...
The good in the bag because you know they would do the same for you. So, Tylor, I have a question for you, young MIFTer. Are you part of our team?
Well, I mean, I'm more than part of the team. I'm the team captain. And you know what? I will lead us to victory. Because we are MIFT. We are the Big Wazowskis.
But, Tylor can I remind you that we pee-ew stink?
Well, then, we're just gonna have to stink our way to victory.
[Fritz meets up with Needleman and Smitty about taking a vacation in the human world]
Needleman
Welcome to Needleman and Smitty's vacation door emporium.
Needleman
That's right. Each of these doors was personally rescued by us from the shredder, and guaranteed to deliver you to an isolated, human-free destination.
Okay. Oh, please. I can't wait. Tell me, what do you got?
[Smitty, dressed as a sailor, uncovers an old boat door]
Needleman
Who wouldn't wanna chill out on a cruise to an abandoned ship in the Arctic Circle?
This vacation sounds cool.
Needleman
Shut up! I give the sales pitch, you're the glamor model.
Needleman
Transyl-Romania is known for blood-sucking vampires. But what doesn't suck are the deluxe amenities of this musty, deserted castle.
[Smitty stands in front of a medieval castle door wearing fake fangs and paper bat wings and holding a candelabra which burns his bat wings]
Needleman
You'll have a rotten time in this decaying cabin in the woods.
[Smitty fishes in a bucket and pulls a giant sea serpent that eats his fishing rod]
Nah, too fishy. What else you got?
Needleman
Soak up the sun at this condemned Caribbean beach resort!
[Smitty plays the steel drum]
Beach vacation! Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes! That's the one!
Needleman
Excellent choice, my good man. This vacated vacation paradise is yours.
Hold it. You're sure that using a door that was supposed to be shredded isn't against company policy?
Needleman
Oh, we don't say "against company policy."
That's right. We say "debit or credit."
[Tylor hits Duncan with a propelled scream canister and Duncan retaliates but loses control causing a stack of canisters to topple over and go haywire, knocking the main energy box, causing a blackout on the factory and all of Monstropolis; M.E.R.C. (Monstropolis Energy Regulatory Commission) sends an investigator to look for the cause]
Oh, no. Not him. That's Argus Blinks. He hasn't taken a day off in 20 years. If he finds a problem, he'll shut us down. This could be the end of laugh power.
[approaches Mike and Sulley] Ahem. Argus Blinks, M.E.R.C. investigator. [shows his badge]
James P. Sullivan, CEO, Monsters, Incorporated.
Yes, "Mr. Laugh Energy," I know who you are.
I am here to determine the cause of today's blackout, and whether or not a shutdown or a change in management is in order.
You'll have our full cooperation, sir.
Full cooperation! Now, if you could please sign in. [hands Argus a form; Argus notices a 50 dollar bill clipped to it]
That? Oh! [chuckles] That's my lunch money. Or it could be your lunch money.
Are you trying to bribe me?!
No, no, of course he's not. [whispering to Mike] Put that away.
That's so silly. Now, by chance, have you happened to drop these box seat tickets to the Monstropolis Creepees game, uh, row double-A, seats one through three, free food? Was that possibly yours, by any chance?
Your office, if you please.
Needleman
Welcome, sir. Mr. Wazowski wants us to bribe you with a brand-new...
Not now, boys. Not now. Excuse the car, sir. It's "Park Anywhere You Want" Day today. [as Argus leaves] Here's a 50. Get rid of the car. Wait, a 20. Here's a 20, get rid of the car. You know what? Forget it. Just get rid of the car.
NSNeedleman and Smitty
Aww...
[two weeks later, Cutter activates the vacation door; Argus comes out with a tan line wearing a Hawaiian shirt]
That was, without a doubt... [happily] the best vacation of my life! Wow!
[comes out the door] I believe it, Argus. 'Cause you really needed to unwind. You're very wound.
So, uh, you're doing okay?
I'm more than okay. Sipping creepy coladas, napping beneath the palms, cha-chaing the night away.
Argus? You're still here?
Yeah, I thought you left two weeks ago.
Oh, no, no, no. I took a little time off. I have your MIFT crew to thank.
You are welcome. And that is the last we will speak of it.
Well, of course, I will be writing all of you up, but just a warning this time. Goodbye, Mr. Laugh Energy. [leaves]
[sighs] That was too close. We were nearly shut down.
You caused a major power outage, conspired to cover it up, and if that weren't enough, attempted to bribe a M.E.R.C. official.
Stay on point, Sulley, stay on point.
Is all this true? Duncan?
[sighs in defeat] Yes, sir.
Oh, this is all my fault. I tipped the wheel so that Duncan could be temporary supervisor.
Well, regardless of how he became temporary supervisor, it all happened on your watch, Duncan.
And any of these accusations is grounds for dismissal.
Dismissal? Um... Temporary supervisor's, uh... [sniffles] Well, he's gotta go down with his temporary ship... I guess. So, uh, Mr. Sullivan, Mr. Wazowski...
I'm sorry, I... I'm the one that caused the outage, okay? Duncan, he was just trying to be a good supervisor. So if anyone deserves to be dismissed, it's me.
No, no, no. The power outage and, you know, all the other stuff, that was my fault, too. Though I am significantly less at fault than him.
Hmm. I am so proud of you two. Not only have you displayed that get-along MIFTer spirit, you've shown that you're willing to sacrifice one another.
TDTylor and Duncan
"Sacrifice for one another"?
That, too. So, Mr. W, Mr. S, what do you way we forget all the dismissal jumbo-mumbo-bumbo-bimble?
Speaking of dismissal mumbo jumbo, what about that "against company policy" vacation door?
Taken care of, Sulley. I'm having it shredded.
Needleman
Mr. Wazowski, we're here to take the vacation door to your office.
[Mike chuckles nervously]
[Some employees are enjoying a new Oozeball machine]
Needleman
Get ready! Bam!
Oozeball? I thought we were supposed to not spend money.
Sulley, you're not thinking like an out-of-touch overpaid CEO. To make money, you gotta spend money.
[George's team just beat Needleman and Smitty]
Needleman
No!
See? Morale's already up.
Okay, we'll keep this one.
Too late, buddy. I already ordered 96 of'em.
[Tylor gives up his first chance to make a kid laugh after he felt guilty about Adorable; the Himalayan banishment door appears on the Laugh Floor]
Uh-oh. Sulley, this door looks very familiar.
[bursts through the door holding snow cones, followed by Tylor and Val] Snow cones for everybody!
We've got lemon and lingonberry.
And zero-calorie snow flavored.
Adorable, what are you doing here?
Perfect timing. Yum! With this heat, I could sure use one of those snow cones.
We were in your cave a month ago.
Yeah, but that's a long time in Yeti years. Uh, snow cone?
[takes a lemon snow cone] What a way to cool off. [tastes his snow cone, making his voice raspy] Mmm. And these lemon ones, they're a little tart. Makes my mouth feel funny.
Yeah, it was all my friend Tylor's idea.
Um, Sulley, Mike, I feel like Adorable here has been banished long enough.
More like unjustly banished by Waternoose for discovering the Scream Extractor.
Scream Extractor? No wonder he wanted to get rid of you.
You shouldn't have been banished, you should've been rewarded.
You're right, Mike. Adorable, now that I'm CEO of Monsters, Incorporated, I hereby un-banish you.
Ya here that? Officially un-banished!
And no more mail room for you. You're getting a promotion as…
[In the main lobby of the factory]
Official snow cone seller of Monsters, Incorporated!
Needleman
Make that two.
I'll see ya and your funny flower tomorrow on the Laugh Floor.
Hey, sorry you missed your chance.
Eh, I'll get another one. It's me, remember? Besides, when life throws you a snowball, you make a snow cone.
Monsters at Work · 69 quotes
