[Tylor is sitting alone at the entrance of Monsters, Inc. where he crumples up the letter he received and throws it aside where it lands in the trash can Needleman and Smitty are rolling]
SmittyWhoa! Nice shot!
Shut up, Smitty. Can't you see he wants to be alone? He's depressed.
Smitty
Why's he depressed?
If you're a scary monster like him, now what do you do? Unless you can make a kid laugh, you got no future.
Smitty
That's depressing.
Shut up! He can still hear you.
Smitty
You shut up!
[Mike has just finished filling a laugh cannister and is really tired]
You've been at this for 18 hours straight. You need a break.
Ah! A break? Sulley, I am personally powering Monstropolis. [points to the Laugh Record board] Look! First place, second place... fourth place? Uh, that Lanky and his spinning bowtie. We'll see who gets the last laugh, Lanky!
[Lanky twirls his bowtie]
Mike, you need to relax. Let the others handle it for a while.
I'm fine. I gotta keep the kids laughing. I got a gift, Sulley. You do not hide a gift like mine from my tiny, adoring friends... [falls asleep]
Well, if you're gonna keep the kids laughing, we'd better get you some coffee.
[Sulley carries Mike to the break room and pours him a cup of coffee]
Okay. Creamer, sugar. [pours the creamer and sugar into Mike's cup] Sugars, creamers, stir sticks. No stir sticks. Where is it? [looks around to see if anyone's looking and then takes Mikey's hand and uses his finger to stir his coffee; Mike wakes up as soon as Sulley gives him his coffee] There you go. That'll help.
Bleh, that's horrible. Tastes like someone's finger.
Wazowski! Better not fall asleep in your comedy class.
Oh, that's right. I'm teaching comedy class at lunch.
Mike, you can't keep going like this.
Actually, he can, Mr. Sullivan, with a little something called... [throws Mike an energy drink bottle] 36 1/2 Hour Energy drink.
Smitty
Yeah, me and Needleman drink two of those when we run out of 73 Hour Energy drink.
It's twice as good as the 18 1/4 Hour Energy drink.
[Mike drinks the energy drink]
Yeah? I don't know. 36 1/2 hours sounds a lot of energy for such a little...
[Mike finishes off the energy drink and his pupil grows with energy]
[Tylor finds out that MIFT are awful bowlers, but they win the first two rounds by default; Tylor is told by Duncan to meet with him in private]
Hey, Duncan. You know the signs says "secert."
[in a deep voice] I'm not Duncan.
Well, now you're just doing a voice.
[in a high-pitched voice] I'm not Duncan.
What are we doing here, buddy?
[with a German accent] It's a mystery voice. Ah?
Okay, that's fine. Whatever voice.
[Needleman and Smitty appear]
Hey, Duncan. You done with your "secert room"?
Come on. We need our trashcan.
Turn the light off, you idiots! Ugh! [Needleman turns off the light and runs out with Smitty] Get out! Where were we?
DDucan
Uh... [in an ominous voice] The Overnighters. Yes. The third shift. The kind of monsters that monsters fear. They'll get you your win. And your jokester dream will come true.
Great, great. And... but just... Sorry. What do you get out of it?
Just want you to sign a little contract. We'll call it a written agreement.
That's... literally what a contract is.
An agreement that stipulates that you will not in any way hereto now, with, or henceforth forward in perpetuity pursue Fritz's job.
Duncan, I told you the day I got...
I do not care about Fritz's job. I don't want the job.
But now it's legally binded.
Cool. Fine. Just stop with the voice. Whatever. I'll sign it. Just get me the bowlers, okay? [signs Duncan's contract] There!
[the lights go on again]
Smitty
You're done?
No! I'm not done! You said you wouldn't be back until 5:47! Get out!
Smitty
Oh, but we have Fright Club in here.
Don't tell him that! Did you forget the first rule of Fright Club?! [turns off the light and leaves]
[Fritz meets up with Needleman and Smitty about taking a vacation in the human world]
Welcome to Needleman and Smitty's vacation door emporium.
That's right. Each of these doors was personally rescued by us from the shredder, and guaranteed to deliver you to an isolated, human-free destination.
Okay. Oh, please. I can't wait. Tell me, what do you got?
[Smitty, dressed as a sailor, uncovers an old boat door]
Who wouldn't wanna chill out on a cruise to an abandoned ship in the Arctic Circle?
Smitty
This vacation sounds cool.
Shut up! I give the sales pitch, you're the glamor model.
Smitty
Ohh...
Transyl-Romania is known for blood-sucking vampires. But what doesn't suck are the deluxe amenities of this musty, deserted castle.
[Smitty stands in front of a medieval castle door wearing fake fangs and paper bat wings and holding a candelabra which burns his bat wings]
You'll have a rotten time in this decaying cabin in the woods.
[Smitty fishes in a bucket and pulls a giant sea serpent that eats his fishing rod]
Nah, too fishy. What else you got?
Soak up the sun at this condemned Caribbean beach resort!
[Smitty plays the steel drum]
Beach vacation! Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes! That's the one!
Excellent choice, my good man. This vacated vacation paradise is yours.
Hold it. You're sure that using a door that was supposed to be shredded isn't against company policy?
Oh, we don't say "against company policy."
Smitty
That's right. We say "debit or credit."
[Tylor hits Duncan with a propelled scream canister and Duncan retaliates but loses control causing a stack of canisters to topple over and go haywire, knocking the main energy box, causing a blackout on the factory and all of Monstropolis; M.E.R.C. (Monstropolis Energy Regulatory Commission) sends an investigator to look for the cause]
Oh, no. Not him. That's Argus Blinks. He hasn't taken a day off in 20 years. If he finds a problem, he'll shut us down. This could be the end of laugh power.
[approaches Mike and Sulley] Ahem. Argus Blinks, M.E.R.C. investigator. [shows his badge]
James P. Sullivan, CEO, Monsters, Incorporated.
Yes, "Mr. Laugh Energy," I know who you are.
I am here to determine the cause of today's blackout, and whether or not a shutdown or a change in management is in order.
You'll have our full cooperation, sir.
Full cooperation! Now, if you could please sign in. [hands Argus a form; Argus notices a 50 dollar bill clipped to it]
That? Oh! [chuckles] That's my lunch money. Or it could be your lunch money.
Are you trying to bribe me?!
No, no, of course he's not. [whispering to Mike] Put that away.
That's so silly. Now, by chance, have you happened to drop these box seat tickets to the Monstropolis Creepees game, uh, row double-A, seats one through three, free food? Was that possibly yours, by any chance?
Your office, if you please.
Welcome, sir. Mr. Wazowski wants us to bribe you with a brand-new...
Not now, boys. Not now. Excuse the car, sir. It's "Park Anywhere You Want" Day today. [as Argus leaves] Here's a 50. Get rid of the car. Wait, a 20. Here's a 20, get rid of the car. You know what? Forget it. Just get rid of the car.
NSNeedleman and Smitty
Aww...
[Tylor gives up his first chance to make a kid laugh after he felt guilty about Adorable; the Himalayan banishment door appears on the Laugh Floor]
Uh-oh. Sulley, this door looks very familiar.
[bursts through the door holding snow cones, followed by Tylor and Val] Snow cones for everybody!
We've got lemon and lingonberry.
And zero-calorie snow flavored.
Adorable, what are you doing here?
Perfect timing. Yum! With this heat, I could sure use one of those snow cones.
We were in your cave a month ago.
Yeah, but that's a long time in Yeti years. Uh, snow cone?
[takes a lemon snow cone] What a way to cool off. [tastes his snow cone, making his voice raspy] Mmm. And these lemon ones, they're a little tart. Makes my mouth feel funny.
Yeah, it was all my friend Tylor's idea.
Um, Sulley, Mike, I feel like Adorable here has been banished long enough.
More like unjustly banished by Waternoose for discovering the Scream Extractor.
Scream Extractor? No wonder he wanted to get rid of you.
You shouldn't have been banished, you should've been rewarded.
You're right, Mike. Adorable, now that I'm CEO of Monsters, Incorporated, I hereby un-banish you.
Ya here that? Officially un-banished!
And no more mail room for you. You're getting a promotion as…
[In the main lobby of the factory]
Official snow cone seller of Monsters, Incorporated!
Smitty
I'll have lemon.
I'll see ya and your funny flower tomorrow on the Laugh Floor.
Hey, sorry you missed your chance.
Eh, I'll get another one. It's me, remember? Besides, when life throws you a snowball, you make a snow cone.
Monsters at Work · 69 quotes
