[Tylor arrives at MIFT Headquarters]
Hey, everybody, meet the new guy! Tylor Tuskmon.
We were best buds in college.
We just had that one class together.
Yeah, but it was special.
We didn't actually speak. Hi, everyone, just to be clear, I was told this was a temporary assignment.
Well, we'll see about that, won't we? I'm Fritz. OH, they said they were sending over a new MIFTer.
Sorry, what exactly is "MIFT"?
CutterOh, now you done it. [brings over a chair for Fritz to stand on; Duncan plays dramatic music on his stereo]
Since the day Monsters, Inc. was founded, there has been a need. A need for a dedicated team of mechanics to nurture the intricate machinery that is the foundation of this factory. No matter how arduous or difficult the repair might be, MIFT is there to tighten the bolts, unclog the pipes, wrench the nut! We embrace it with, uh... We embrace it with...
With unbridled anticipation.
There you go! Unbridled participation of what challenge lies ahead. And at the end of the day, we each say, "I'm proud!" [Banana Bread sputters] "I am proud to be a member of the Monsters, Inc. Facilities Team!"
[Duncan stops the music while Cutter throws confetti]
Cutter
For the record, I've never actually said that.
[MIFT is putting up the new slogan for Monsters, Inc.]
"It's laughter we're after?" That's the best College Boy could come up with? No, no, no. I can do better. Okay, okay. How about, "Making kids laugh is the contractual responsibility of our staff"? Ah? [chuckles]
Cutter
I got a better one for ya, four eyes. How about this? "Laughter lights up your life like an oxyacetylene blowtorch with a multi-flame tip." Ow! Thank you. You're welcome.
[Tylor and Val realize they need to take the baby out of the room so her parents won't find out about them]
Baby?! We have to take the baby out?!
Just while we make the repairs.
Nope. No kids allowed in Monsters, Inc. or Monstropolis.
Cutter
If she wakes up and the parents catch us, boom! Dead door.
Wait, wait, what if I take her out and keep her asleep--
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Not after what happened last time with Boo. Remember? [imitates Sulley] "Ooklay in the agbay."
TTyler
[whispers to Val] Is he speaking French?
Our lives were almost ruined.
If we can't fix it in time, we got ourselves a dead door.
Yes, me. You see, Sulley, there's a difference between you and me.
Yeah. I'm tall and you're short.
Awesome horns, little nubs.
No! And stop it! Unlike you, Sulley, I can control my feelings. I'm immune to kids' cuteness.
What did you do to the door?
You were the last one to touch it.
Explain why this door deactivated for no reason.
You keep distracting me with [mocking Val] "This reminds of this time...", And you remember the time we blah-blah-blah...", And that time we... [speaks gibberish]
This reminds me of that time...
There! See? See? How many times do I have to tell you, I. Don't. Remember. Why is it so important to you?
[sighs] Because... Because... When I first got to MU, no one noticed me. And then... one day in class, you spoke to me. [sniffles] You said, "Excuse me. Is this seat taken?"
[Back at the Laugh Floor, Cutter notices the door deactivated]
Cutter
Huh. Door's deactivated. That can't be good. [turns the door back on] You guys know the door got turned off?
[gasps] A rescue party! [pushes past Tylor and Val] Outta the way, subordinates. Oh, I just need to breathe some stale air. [inhales deeply]
Okay, everybody, are you ready? 'Cause it's time to play...
FVFritz, Val, and Cutter
Wheel of Temporary Supervisor! [they spin the wheel]
Today's my lucky day, Roto. Can you feel it? Can you feel it?! Yes, yes, yes!
Wait, why is my name on there?
Cutter
When Fritz goes on vacation, the wheel picks a temporary supervisor.
Yeah, but I see the ambition in your eyes, College Boy. You'd just love to have me under your thumb, squishing me with your little temporary supervisor thumb.
Thumb? What are you... I've told you, Duncan. I have no interest in Fritz's job, okay?
I signed your ridiculous contract.
Right. Like a two-faced charlatan like you would honor a contract.
Two-face... What are you talking about?
Come on, come on, come on! Let's go, wheel! Mama needs a temporary promotion!
Come on, come on, come on!
[the wheel lands on Val's name]
Cutter
Glad it's not me.
Congratulations, Temporary Supervisor Val.
Oh, I have so many fun things planned for my employees: Mindfulness Mondays, Tamale Tuesdays, Waffle Wednesdays, Friendly French Fry Fridays.
Cutter
What next, yoga? Uh-uh. Neither me nor my schedule is flexible.
Yeah, yeah, let's hear it for Val. So much for my humble dream of being temporary supervisor. [about to throw his nameplate in the trash] I'll just throw away the only thing I've ever wanted in my insignificant life. [he throws his nameplate in the trash but it hits the edge and knocks the can over] Ah, great. I can't even throw away my dreams right.
Huh. Kinda goes against my better judgement, but I actually feel a little sorry for him.
[on the phone] Yeah. Yeah, Mom, you know how you always told me, "Dreams can come true"? Heh. Yeah, well, uh, I learned today that they can't. No, don't cry. Don't cry, Mom. I tried my best. I did. I did.
[Val tips the wheel over to Duncan's name out of sympathy]
Huh? Looks like I made an oopsie. The temporary supervisor is Duncan!
Me? Moi? The fates have chosen. Well, uh, Mr. Fritz, sir, there's, of course, no way I can match your robust managerial skills, blah-blah-blah, but I will do my best to make you proud, sir, and, uh, supervise the team.
Tylor! You're not gonna believe this. Power's out all over Monstropolis. A M.E.R.C investigator is on his way. Heads are gonna roll... [notices the mess in the canister room] Whoa. What happened?
[in time with Duncan] Duncan did it.
[in time with Tylor] College Boy did it.
Cutter
I say you both did it.
Cutter
Well, you acted on it.
It sounds like you're all accountable.
So are you! If it wasn't for you, Duncan wouldn't even be supervisor.
Cutter
I'm not losing my pension over this.
Well, I'm not losing my shot at the Laugh Floor!
Okay, okay, alright. The only way to save our jobs is to hide all the evidence and make sure nobody ever finds out the truth.
I don't know, Duncan. Sounds like you're suggesting a cover-up.
No! It's not a cover-up. Just a thing where we all conspire to avoid accountability for our actions.
Cutter
So, a cover-up.
No! Why is this concept so difficult to grasp? Not a cover-up.
[Argus discovers the cause of the power outage through his sentient eyeballs and has called MIFT for a meeting]
As the Facilities Team here at Monsters, Incorporated, all of you are in violation of numerous M.E.R.C. codes, as eye-witnessed by my eyes. And as supervisor, M...
Temporary supervisor, Mr. Duncan P. Anderson, you are responsible for the actions of your team. You should be fired, or, better yet, banished!
Hey, wait. Come on, it's his first day as supervisor. Give him a break.
Give him a break? I've been working non-stop as a M.E.R.C. official for 20 years, and no one's ever given me a brea...
[at that moment, a scream canister that was lodged on the ceiling finally comes loose and lands on Argus' head, knocking him unconscious]
Cutter
Oh, well. I'll log him in my accident journal.
We gotta get rid of the body.
I mean, check his pulse, obviously.
[MIFT hides the unconscious Argus in the vacation door]
Uh, guys? I am pretty sure disposing of a body may be another banishable offense.
That was the only thing we could do, okay? His work-life balance was totally out of whack, alright? Duncan?
Right, right. College Boy is right. So, we need to make a pact. None of us will ever speak of this again. We take this to our graves. Nobody saw nothin'.
Cutter
Ahem! [points to Argus' sentient eyeballs]
[whispers] Shh. We need to close the case.
[Tylor tries to buy a drink from a vending machine, but it stops working]
Oh, uh, hey, Val? There's something wrong with this old machine here. I think it might be broken.
That's more than an old machine, Double T. I told you, her name's Vendy.
Right, right. Forgot it has a name.
Fritz named her. She's as much a MIFTer as any of us. And a little moody sometimes. So, all you gotta do is say, "Hi, Vendy!" Like that.
Oh, okay. Sure. Uh, hi, Vendy.
Good. Now bump the left side with your fist. [does exactly what she said three times] Bump-bump-bump. Then wait a beat, big bump! [rams Vendy with his shoulder]
Bump-bump-bump, wait a beat, big bump. Got it. Okay, thanks.
Cutter
Don't bump too hard. Few years back, Nathan in marketing shook her and bam! Squashed him like a bug. He's an invertebrate, so he was okay. And we got free candy, so, heh... [walks away]
Oh, well, it's good to hear you got free candy. [chuckles] Okay, Vendy, here we go. [bumps the left side of Vendy with his fist] Bump-bump-bump, wait a beat, big bump! [rams Vendy with his shoulder, but accidentally shoves his horn into it, causing it to malfunction and spark out] Oh, no!
Cutter
Hey!
Jumping gaskets! What's wrong with Vendy?!
I don't know! I just bumped it!
Cutter
No! No!
[Vendy starts sparking out]
Like I said, I think it's... [Vendy breaks down completely, unable to be working anymore] ...broken.
[Fritz is shocked to see a brand new vending machine where Vendy was]
Cutter
Look at that. It even has hot foods. That's pretty... hot.
That's right, sir. I had it installed just for you.
You had it installed? No, no, no. This wasn't Duncan's idea.
Yeah, Val and I are the ones who gave Mike the idea to upgrade.
But I approved the delivery.
No, no, no, no, no. I don't think I like this.
This was all College Boy's hair-brained scheme.
What?! No! Hey, I didn't ask Mike to send this down.
You said it was your idea.
I said it was Mike's idea.
This is clearly all their fault. Keep that in mind.
[as Tylor, Val and Duncan continue arguing, Fritz walks up to the new vending machine and looks through all the selections]
Wow! Look at all these refreshing Drooler Cooler flavors. I like this.
How do I choose? There's Spineapple! That sounds...
Taste Free, Bilgeberry. Maybe I'm just gonna go for Bile Blast.
If you're happy, I'm happy.
[selects Bile Blast] Bump-bump-bump. [inserts his coins] Bitty bump. [the machine opens and a tray comes out holding a Bile Blast Drooler Cooler] Oh, my! [drinks the Drooler Cooler] The acidity's astounding. I can't feel my tongue, but so what? Maybe I should've tried the Lemon Slime instead. That could've been even more delightful and refreshing.
Hey, look, there's an exchange button.
Oh. Jumping gaskets! [presses the exchange button and places the drink back in the tray] Whoa! Would you look at that? [selects Lemon Slime] Bitty bump. [the tray comes out holding a Lemon Slime Drooler Cooler] I can't get over it! This is really something! Thank you, Vendy 2! [kisses "Vendy 2"] And thank you all. You know, I'm having a really rough week and this makes me feel a smidgy bit better. [goes into his office carrying multiple sodas]
You hear that? He thanked us. We're not getting fired.
No, no. He thanked moi. I'm not getting fired.
[Duncan manages to unplug Vendy 2]
[Unbeknownst to Duncan, Vendy 2's backup batteries are powering on]
Duncan! Duncan! Look behind you! Duncan!
[Vendy 2 extends her tray from underneath Duncan and pulls him in]
Cutter
Oh, no! Not Dun-- Any body parts left? I got dibs on an eyestalk.
[Duncan is still trapped in Vendy 2]
PLEASE!! LEMME OUTTA HERE!!
You may not be the best MIFTer at fixing stuff, but you're pretty good at breaking it.
So, get out there and fix-beak Vendy 2.
Cutter
Really mess things up!
SOMEBODY LET ME OUT! IT'S NOT AS SPEACIOUS AS IT LOOKS!
Time to get to work! [roars loudly and begins destroying Vendy 2]
Cutter
Woah, he really would've made a great Scarer.
[Vendy 2 explodes; Tylor is holding Duncan]
I'll never remove a doohickey again. Ugh!
[because of profits going up, nobody in MIFT has to be let go; Tylor is setting up a surprise]
Morning, MIFTers! So, what's up?
I don't know. Tylor wouldn't let us in till you got here. [knocks on the door]
Come on in. But cover your eyes. [the gang close their eyes] Alright, there you go, come on in. Yeah, yeah. Just over here. Careful, careful. Okay. Hold right there. Up, up! Keep'em closed. And open! [they opens their eyes to see that Tylor has put the original Vendy back together] Surprise!
More like blindly cobbled.
Hey, look, I fixed something all by myself, and I kept all the doohickeys.
Uh-huh. Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, whatever.
Well, give it a try, Ty-Ty. Give it a try!
Hi, Vendy! [inserts his change and presses a button]
MMIFTers
Bump-bump-bump, big bump! [Vendy dispenses a Drooler Cooler]
One Drooler Cooler! [throws the drink to Fritz]
Who needs all those fancy flavors when I've got Drooler Cooler Classic?
Cutter
And we get to keep classic Fritz.
Goodness, I feel just like Vendy, all fixed up and ready to work here at MIFT for years to come!
Wouldn't want it any other way, Fritz.
Cutter
Cheers, big ears!
Oh, yeah, cheers. Whatever.
[Monstropolis is hit with a heatwave.]
LLisa
[on TV] And in weather, it's icky and sticky here in Monstropolis, with high temperatures continuing over the next few days. Don?
DDon
Thanks, Lisa. As you can see, in nearby Monstrocity, it's already well into 200s, with humidity at 140%.
[chuckles] This is a good one. Hey, Duncan, who's that right next to you, huh, huh? [referring to Duncan's oscillating fan] That's your biggest fan.
[sarcastically] Oh, wow. Don't quit your day job, College [his fan blows on his face] Booooooy.
Cutter
Phew! That machine shop's hot, but nearly as hot as my former husbands. Pierre, Sheldon, oh, Ricardo.
Heads up! [tosses Tylor a Drooler Cooler]
No problem. [camera shows Val making a huge stack of Drooler Coolers] Just finishing off my Drooler Cooler Tower of Coolness.
[a work order is launched from the mail chute and ricochets around until it knocks over the Tower of Coolness, revealing Fritz to be inside]
Aw. Just when it was getting cool.
LLisa
Sounds like it'll be monstrously hot today. [laughs] Right, Don? Don? [the camera shows Don has melted on the news desk] Somebody get a mop!
[Adorable appears in front of all the MIFTers]
What's he doing here?! He stole 27 1/2 cars from the parking lot!
Cutter
No, he was banished for drinking screams directly from the canisters.
What would I do with half a car?
Oh, who knows the twisted criminal mind?!
Cutter
He's gotta go. Assisting or harboring a banished monster is punishable by banishment.
Cutter
And you definitely can't hide 'em in your apartment for six months. Not that I would know.
Monsters at Work · 69 quotes
