Sharona Fleming quotes from Monk

Sharona

I'm driving. When Hell freezes over, you can drive again. No -- you know what? Even if Hell freezes over, I'm still driving, because I don't want you driving on the ice! Get in the car!

Sharona

Adrian, I'm giving you until 3.

Sharona

No, not 3 o'clock. I'm counting to three.

Sharona

74 percent is good enough for me! [tackles the Commissioner and wrestles to grab his toupee]

Adrian Monk

[surveying a crime scene] The stove.

Over here. It's in the kitchen.

Adrian Monk

No... I mean my stove. I-I think I left it on.

Sharona Fleming

It's okay. I, uh, checked it as we were leaving.

Adrian Monk

Are you sure? Did you turn the knob?

Sharona Fleming

Yeah.

Adrian Monk

The little knob, though?

Sharona Fleming

I turned all the knobs. The stove is off, Adrian.

We believe it was a burglary gone sour. She walked in, she surprised him, he panicked, he left there from the kitchen.

Adrian Monk

No. No. No, no. No. No. This-This was no burglary.

It wasn't?

Adrian Monk

He tried to make it look like one, but this guy was cold as ice. He wore her slippers to avoid leaving shoe prints - not something your neighborhood crackhead is prone to do.

Sharona Fleming

Adrian. Adrian. [she claps her hands to try to get Monk's attention]

Adrian Monk

[looking at the closet] He was in here. He was waiting.

Waiting for what?

Adrian Monk

You know, for her. He was here at least an hour. He was smoking. You can still smell it on the curtains. [sniffs the curtains] Menthols. Salems. Possibly Newports.

Maybe she was the smoker.

Adrian Monk

No. No, she was a Dutch Calvinist. They don't smoke. They consider their bodies to be a holy - a holy chalice of - [turns to Sharona] I'm sorry. I'm having trouble concentrating, because I think I smell gas. Did you hear the click? You gotta hear the click, not just feel the click. Hear it. [to the other detectives]

What's he doing?

Sharona Fleming

I love this part. He does this Zen Sherlock Holmes thing.

Miranda St. Claire

Let me ask you a question. How can you investigate anything? I'm told you're "germophobic," afraid of the dark, heights, crowds... and milk.

Sharona Fleming

We're working on the milk. He's making good progress on milk.

Miranda St. Claire

Ah.

Adrian Monk

Mrs. St. Claire, I - I sense that you're a little upset, but I can tell you why I dropped my keys. I've been a bit preoccupied with another case. A girl was murdered in Santa Clara. Uh, a Nicole Vasques. Did you know her?

Miranda St. Claire

No.

Adrian Monk

No?

Miranda St. Claire

No.

Miranda St. Claire

What I do know is, if my husband is elected Mayor, you will never work in this town again. [to her aide] Let's go.

Adrian Monk

[to Sharona] Are you registered to vote?

Sharona Fleming

I never vote. It only encourages them.

Sharona Fleming

Adrian! Don't you want a closer look?

Adrian Monk

No, I-I can see from here.

Sharona Fleming

Would you like us to move the crash site a little closer to you?

Adrian Monk

Oh, wait. I found it.

Sharona Fleming

Where was it?!

Adrian Monk

It was in my... it must have flown up and got caught in my...

Sharona Fleming

[hits the side of the dumpster] GO-OD! I can't believe I listened to you! You're driving me nuts!

Sharona Fleming

Dale Biederbeck?

Adrian Monk

They call him Dale the Whale.

Sharona Fleming

I never heard of him.

Captain Stottlemeyer

He spends a fortune every year making sure nobody ever hears of him. He buys newspapers just to keep his name out of them. [they get off the elevator, their movements monitored by a camera] All right, I want everybody to be careful in there. This guy is smart. He's gonna try to bait you. Assume you're being videotaped. Do not accuse him of anything. Now, Monk, I don't have to remind you that this bastard's got deep pockets, and he's got a platoon of lawyers and he loves to use them.

Sharona

You met him? What happened? [They are interrupted by Dr. Vezza's arrival]

Dr. Christiaan Vezza

So you're a nurse?

Sharona Fleming

Mmm, I was.

Dr. Christiaan Vezza

Where did you intern?

Sharona Fleming

Modesto General.

Dr. Christiaan Vezza

So you knew Michelle Bletched?

Sharona Fleming

Oh, oh, my God, yes. [She and Dr. Vezza laugh] “The Wretched Miss Bletched”.

Dr. Christiaan Vezza

[in falsetto] Attention, everyone! Attention! This is not a drill!

Sharona Fleming

God.

Dr. Christiaan Vezza

[imitating Katharine Hepburn in falsetto] Yes, you should hear my Katharine Hepburn.

Sharona Fleming

That's very good. Very good.

Sharona Fleming

Adrian, can I ask you something? If it's none of my business, I promise I'll shut up.

Adrian Monk

I doubt it.

Sharona Fleming

What did Trudy mean by "bread and butter"?

Adrian Monk

Whenever Trudy and I were walking somewhere, we would hold hands, and if there was a lamp post or somebody walked between us and we had to let go for a second, she'd always say "bread and butter".

Sharona Fleming

So when she died...

Adrian Monk

Yeah, I think it was a message for me. She was saying, "I have to let go now for a little while, but it won't be forever."

Sharona Fleming

You son of a bitch.

Adrian Monk

I thought you were gonna do the right thing.

Captain Stottlemeyer

I think I did do the right thing.

Sharona Fleming

He saves your ass all the time, and he never asks for anything in return. He closes case after case, and then he goes home and watches you on the news taking all the credit!

Captain Stottlemeyer

I wanted to recommend you, I tried to recommend you, but I just couldn't do it. Adrian, you are not ready to carry a gun. You're not ready to have other cops depend on you under fire. In your heart, you know you're not ready. [Monk walks off]

Sharona Fleming

At least your friend Adam Kirk has the decency to stab people in the front.

Sharona

You okay?

Monk

I just wanna be alone.

Sharona

Okay, I'll come with you.

Sharona

Let's go up in the Ferris Wheel, then we'll be able to see everything.

Monk

I've got a better idea. You go up in the Ferris Wheel and you can see everything.