[Monk is in session with Dr. Kroger; he hands Dr. Kroger a handout]
“Police Announce Hiring Freeze”.
A hiring freeze, for the next four years! By then, I’ll be too old to be reinstated! So, that’s it: I’ll never be a cop again!
All right, Adrian. I am truly sorry. I know how much reinstatement means to you.
Only everything! It was my reason for living. That’s all. What do I do now?
I think you go back to what you’ve been doing. Consulting.
For how long? I haven’t had a new client in weeks! The department hasn’t renewed my contract!
You know, Adrian, I think this is an opportunity for you to make a decision. A very important decision. Now, you can let this news completely depress you.
Or, you can look at this like an opportunity. A chance for you to reassess your life. Start over. Do something completely different.
Yeah...'different' can be good.
[Unconvinced] Different. Good... [whispers to self] Different? Good? [Pause]
Adrian, it's not too late, you know Winston Churchill did not become prime minister until he was sixty!
What are you talking about? I'll never become prime minister!
I don't even live in England; even if I did I, I'd be such a long shot-
Adrian! It’s just an example.
[Monk and Natalie check out the crash scene]
Well this section of the guardrail is new. It must have happened right here. The car was heading west, went off the road here.
So you were right, she couldn’t have hit that rock.
[Sighs] It’s hard to tell without seeing the police report. Maybe…maybe the car flipped over! Maybe it spun around.
No, I think he did it! I think he killed his parents!
You really don’t like this guy, do you? What did he ever do to you?
No. [Becomes distracted by croaking] What is that noise?
Oh, frogs. They live in that pond over there. It’s mating season. They go crazy every year. [A frog hops out of the bushes]
I don't know; I've never been this close to one. [A frog hops on his shoe] Yes, the answer is yes. Put frogs on the list. Where's the list?
[Monk is looking around the Buchanans' garage]
MMechanic
[Spots Monk] Can I help you? What the hell are you doing?
MMechanic
Are you here for the job interview?
[Improvising] Yes. The interview. Exactly.
MMechanic
Follow me. He’s been waiting for you.
[Cuts to Monk in the living room. Paul Buchanan comes in with a shotgun]
Sorry for the delay. [Shows shotgun] This is in case the interview doesn't go well. Just joking; I was just doing a little hunting. [Sets his shotgun down and pours himself a drink] All right, so you're here from the agency. Where's your resume?
You lost your resume? Well that doesn't bode well, does it? What's your name?
Adrian? [Monk notices a copy of the book Moby-Dick by Herman Melville lying on a table]
Melville. Adrian Melville. [Paul notices the cleanliness of the room]
What's with this place? I had friends over last night; the place was a mess.
While I was waiting, I sort of tidied up.
I'm impressed. Very well done, Adrian Melville.
Did you do this? [Points to a finished jigsaw puzzle of a city skyline with a rainbow over it on another table]
Yes, sorry, I couldn't help myself.
What, in 20 minutes? I've been working on this puzzle for a month!
Sorry, I’ll mess it up again. I think I remember exactly how... [reaches forward, trying to restore the puzzle to the wya he found it]
No...! (5x) I’ve got a couple of stepsisters who think I never finish anything. Well, come on. Sit down. [They sit down in two adjacent chairs] Tell me, Melville. Who have you worked for? Anybody I know?
Mmm... I don’t think so. Leland Stottlemeyer of the San Francisco.... Stottlemeyers. Randy Disher. Dr. Charles Kroger....
Natalie? Really? She grew up right down the street. I went to school with her when she was still Natalie Davenport. She had a big crush on me. Wouldn’t leave me alone.
How does she look? Does she still have that tattoo? [Monk stands up, shocked]
Well, I guess you wouldn’t have seen it. Not where she put it. [Gets up] Look, I’m having a big luncheon on Sunday. A bunch of the old fossils from the family foundation. Do you think Natalie would show up? It’d make the afternoon a lot better.
I don’t think... [Paul gives him a "yes or no?" look] Maybe.
Well, Adrian Melville, I go with my gut. And my gut likes what it sees. If Natalie Teeger recommends you, that’s good enough for me. Congratulations. You’re my new butler.
Yeah. Come on. I’ll show you around. Your room’s upstairs. Grab that drink. [Monk grabs the tray off the table]
[Paul Buchanan finishes looking at the completed luncheon table that Monk has carefully organized and straightened out]
Well I don't have to remind you about how important these stupid luncheons are! The old bats are gunning for me. They want me to screw up, they expect me to screw up! And I intend- to dissapoint them. Mr. Melville.
[Standing in front of a covered canvas] Thank you. Mr. Pepperidge? [Mr. Pepperidge pulls the tarp off the canvas, revealing a color coded map of the house] I've divided the house into four zones.
SMSusie the Maid
Mr. Stilson normally has us start in the kitchen.
[Retracts his pointer] Mr. Stilson is no longer with us. So from now on we're going to be cleaning the house my way: the Monk way.
SMSusie the Maid
Who's Monk?
[Long pause] You see... I grew up in a monastery. And the monks, were very demanding. We were cleaning constantly, 18 hours a day. Mostly dusting. It was very dusty. Crypts, catacombs, it was holy dust. But still... you know... dust. And that is the Monk way.
Well you heard the man. We'll be doing it the Monk way.
[Paul leads Natalie away from the other hunters]
All right. Give me the page!
My father’s journal! You stole a page, give it to me! [Natalie hands Paul the signout sheet page she took from the garage. He tosses her a hunting vest] Put it on!
There’s gonna be an accident. I told you. It happens all the time.
[Monk runs into Paul's hunting buddies and grabs one of their shotguns]
Paul, you just…you can’t do this!
Oh, I can’t? Look up there. See that well? Two weeks ago, I shot my butler, and dropped his body in it! [Pumps the shotgun] You should’ve gone with me to the prom, Natty! [Monk shows up, weapon in hand]
Buchanan! Lower the weapon!
Just lower it! [Fires at the trees, killing a bird]
Well, you’re fired. That goes without saying. [Natalie uses the opportunity to grab the sheet and shotgun from Paul]
Mr. Monk, look, his father kept a journal. He came back before he died.
That makes sense. It all makes sense now.
