“Deal Me Out” · Season 2
In this episode: Hawkeye Pierce (9), Sidney Freedman (4), Frank Marion Burns (3), Radar O'Reilly (2), Trapper John McIntyre (2), Henry Blake (2), Maxwell Klinger (1), Pak (1)
[during a poker game] Sidney, what's the psychiatric basis for gambling?
Sex.
Why?
I don't know, they told me to say it. Sex is why we gamble, sex is why we drink, sex is why we give birth.
Thank you, doctor.
I'm taking a five dollar chip. That was a house call.
Radar, what's going on?
It's a patient, sir. He blew his cork.
Sidney, front and center.
I'm not going out there without a bulletproof couch!
Uh, sir, if you're thirsty. Compliments of Colonel Blake. Scotch. Gin. Vodka. And for your convenience all in the same bottle.
You have a lot of trouble with women, don't you?
Every chance that I can!
Henry, the guy could have died!
He was bleeding, Henry. And Frank, here, who studied medicine under General Rommel was too chicken to operate. He was afraid that under anaesthesia the lieutenant might give away Harry Truman's hat size!
Hi sirs, sandwiches from the mess tent.
Hope everybody likes carrier pigeon.
There's ham, chicken, and something brown that just lays there.
Ah, well, it looks like the "conference" is in full swing.
Hi, Frank. What's new up on The Mount?
Read any good commandments lately?
Hold it everybody freeze!
What's the matter?
One of the sandwiches just moved.
Now be advised, if you so much as touch that man you're violating regulations.
Frank. We promise to keep saluting all throughout the operation.
You did it, didn't you? Operated on the CID man.
Yeah, we thought we'd save his life for kicks.
Okay the first thing people do in a situation like this is panic.
Well I think I'm doing it in the right order.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's M*A*S*H pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
