I want salvation!
S13 E14Born Again on the Fourth of July
S13 E15Serves Me Right For Giving General George S. Patton The Bathroom Key
[Dale and Bill are wrestling over a beer can.]
KSKahn Souphinousaphone
Chain-smoking anorexic vs. that heart attack waiting to happen! Who will die first? Let's watch!
(In a letter) "Hank, if you're readin' this it means Fatty's dead. So I have to leave this task to the one most likely to screw it up: You."
S13 E16Bad News Bill
About your outfit, Bill. No.
(sighs) I need you to talk to you about coach...
(on the phone) Shh, shh. No, no, no! You listen to me, you will double the salt or you will find a new place to peddle your sunflower seeds! Goodbye! (hang up phone) Hello, sir. May I help you?
I came here to help with practice, but Bradford won't let me on the field. All I want to do is just watch my son play baseball.
Really? Last I heard you wanted to see him quit baseball.
Watch it, Bill. I'm just looking for an ass to kick.
(sighs) I'll give it to you straight, Hank. You're seen as a negative influence around here, or anyone lets you on the baseball field, you're going to have to prove yourself, show your commitment to the league.
Dang it, Bill, how am I supposed to do that?
Hello, Hank! I'll have a cheeseburger; hold the lettuce, pickles, cheese and instead of special sauce; I'd like very special sauce.
Dang it, Dale! Move!
You think it's unfair, Hank? Just be glad I'm allowing you contact with Bobby at all.
[angers throws beer can] Okay, that does it! I have had it with you! Now do you have somewhere to be? 'Cause I'd liked to know what direction I should kick your ass in!
S13 E17Manger Baby Einstein
They keep restricting what barbers can do. My guy says he can no longer perform dentistry.
Children see the world through innocent eyes. My book will change that.
[Dale and Luanne both bickered until Hank breaks up the fight.]
You guys are acting like idiots. [To Luanne] You shouldn't have stolen Dale's ideas. [To Dale] You shouldn't have destroyed Luanne's dolls. We shouldn't even be having this memorial service.
I could have listened to you Uncle Hank; but instead I chose to succeed in DVD’s and in life.
S13 E18Uh-Oh, Canada
Hank! That crazy Canuck is mowing your yard!
S13 E19The Boy Can't Help It
BBully
Why are you hitting yourself, sucker?
S13 E20The Honeymooners
[last lines]
[as the truck gets carried away] What-- no, no! My truck! [groans] Idiot!
S13 E22When Joseph Met Lori, and Made Out with Her in the Janitor's Closet
Oh, don't go in there; sir. I'm developing pictures. They're almost set!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's King of the Hill pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.