King of the Hill quotes

Hank

[to a man at the mall] Look, you and your got-dang book had upset my family and you're gonna fix it!

Bobby

[while the actors practice their Unique New York type] Check it out! I'm an actor!

Peggy

Well, obviously; babies are not as stupid as they look.

Joseph

[upset] I can't remember what you look like!

Lucky

Lucky is on the case. That's usually what I say when I drink beer, but this time it refers to this mystery.

Lucky Kleinschmidt,it was you and Luanne wasn't it? You trying to get in as much hanky-panky as you can before she has her baby?

Lucky

Not that there's anything wrong with your premise but no, it wasn't us.

Luanne

We haven't done in public since Lucky almost fell off a Ferris wheel.

Bill

I don't have an alibi.

You're Bill Dauterive, that's your alibi.

Lucky

You really enjoyed yourself this evening, didn't you Aunt Peggy?

Peggy

(gasps) You know?

Lucky

Good for you. Happy Birthday Aunt Peggy.

Peggy

Now maybe we can reopen the fanny pack discussion?

Bill

Somehow I always knew it would come to this.

Hank

[to Lucky] Pee-pee money is not an employment history.

Two blood sugar spikes in a week? Let's face it: Sooner or later this will kill you. Probably sooner.

Bill

What should I do?

Well, we have plenty of nice pamphlets that I'm sure you'll ignore. But this is how I see your diabetes playing out: First comes heart disease, then kidney failure, then blindness. Oh, and you'll lose your legs to gangrene.

Bill

Are you just giving me tough love?

Have you seen other doctors?

Bill

Yes.

Did they tell you to diet and exercise?

Bill

Yes.

Did you do it? (Bill doesn't respond) Here, take this. You'll end up in a wheelchair anyway. Might as well get one now, while you still have good insurance.

Hank

We already went over this with the zucchini muffins!

Hank

Dr. Weissman, my friend Bill would like to register a complaint.

Ohh, are you upset or something? I said you had diabetes, not cry-a-betes.

Bill

You told me I was going to lose my legs!

No, I said your legs could fail one day, possibly. I-I never said anything that could constitute malpractice, other it's current definition.

Bill

Hmm, my legs work just fine. Isn't that inspiring! (Bill closes the door and starts beating up Dr. Weissman)

Hank

(to nurse) Uh, my friend is just, uh...

I don't hear a thing.

Hank

About that science teacher of yours, does he ever talk about, uh, going green?

Bobby

I don't know. Do you ever talk about propane? My point is, he talks about all the time.