Luanne Leanne Platter Kleinschmidt quotes from King of the Hill

Buckley

I just wanted to say I'm sorry I bailed out of the car.

Luanne

I knew you weren't really a jerk.

Buckley

Yeah. Well, I gotta go. Jesus is having a party tonight. It's gonna rock.

Luanne

There will probably be a lot of people there. But if you see Jesus, tell him I said thanks. [pause] Goodbye Buckley.

Buckley

Um, before I go - could I have one last kiss?

Luanne

No, that part's over.

Buckley

Why?

Luanne

Chicken thigh.

Luanne Platter

(sighs) Mr. Strickland's wife is beautiful.

Hank Hill

That's NOT his wife. That's Debbie from work. 'Pretty girl like that should have been able to get a date.

Joseph

Why don't your doors have keyholes?

Bobby

You're really starting to creep me out, now go home!

Luanne

Bobby, it's perfectly natural to want to see a woman naked, but I am your cousin. Now, the first time was an accident, but if I catch you again, you are going to hell.

Bobby

Are you crazy? We're going to get caught. I could go to hell!

Joseph

I can't help myself. I've got a monkey on my back and it wants to see Luanne naked!

(yelling in Laotian)

Bobby

I know a couple of those words. I better go. (kisses Connie goodbye)

Bye.

I see you! KAHN SEE EVERYTHING!

You know, you're not too big to be spanked, you dirty little hillbilly!

Luanne Platter

Aunt Peggy, Mister Kahn saw me naked!

Joseph

(driving by on his bike) Oh man!

Dale Gribble

The only thing your roommates (ie: enemies) will understand is fear (ie: psychological warfare (ie: dirty tricks)). It worked for Dick Nixon. For example, get ahold of some goat's blood. Taint that blood. Then when your roommates need blood, give them the tainted goat's blood. It's a perfect plan.

Luanne

I don't want to hurt anyone... I just want them to do the dishes.

Dale Gribble

Oh, well in that case stack the dishes in the shower. That's the way Nancy gets me to do them.

Nice pool. What say we jump in and see what floats?

Luanne

Just keep your beer cans off of my lawn. And quit trying to read my t-shirt.

You lose something over here?

Hank

I am making a citizen's arrest for trespassing.

I don't think so.

Hank

Believe me, I've done it before.

Hank

Well, how did you get Bill's key chain? Okay, you're under arrest for theft, too.

He gave it to me. Now, get off our property, or I'll citizen arrest you.

Hank

Damn it, when Bill comes home...

[mockingly] "Weh Beh guh hum..."

Hank

What the hell are you doing?

"Whu de huh ur da doon?"

Oh Lisa, my baby! These men are here to get you back to normal.

Who is Lisa? My name is Jane.

Do not worry young lady, all will be OK. Thank God we got her.

Yeah, it was a lucky break. This cult has lawyers up the ying-yang.

Luanne

Omega House, party, woo hoo!

Hank

Hi, my name is Ladybird. I like long walks, my arthritis medication, and two cups of kibble a day. I'll try to outsmart you and get three cups, but I know you're too clever for that, Ms. Platter. (Giggles)

Luanne

I don't know, Uncle Hank. She did write this letter, and everything.

Hank

Trip's off!

Luanne Platter

I closed my eyes and I was thinking of those stupid guys in my math class... oh, and the guy in the parking lot... and that volunteer pool cleaner who always comes by when I'm swimming.

Tell me about it. I once fell for a free breast examination in a bar.

Luanne Platter

Yeah, there's nothing worse than people not respecting you. Every time I get hooted at I have to take an hour of Tae Bo.

Hank Hill

"Tae Bo", is that that new oriental way of moving your couch around?

Luanne Platter

Guess who I ran into at the gym... Buck Strickland! He watched me do Tae Bo and he thinks I'd be a great boxer!

Hank Hill

Look, Luanne, I fought at the Y and trust me, you are no boxer.

Luanne Platter

Yea-huh. Friday at midnight in the bathroom at Sugarfoots, and I am going to stand up and fight and be respected just like you said.

Hank Hill

Luanne, the kind of women that box don't have 50 stuffed animals on their bed. Why don't you spend Friday night watching one of those movies you like, where the people fall in love and then one of them dies?

Men are never going to respect us. That's why we've got to use what God or the surgeon gave us to get what they got: Money.

Luanne Platter

So you'd do anything for money?

Or a car.

Lucky Kleinschmidt,it was you and Luanne wasn't it? You trying to get in as much hanky-panky as you can before she has her baby?

Lucky

Not that there's anything wrong with your premise but no, it wasn't us.

Luanne

We haven't done in public since Lucky almost fell off a Ferris wheel.