Carly Shay quotes from iCarly

Carly

You think I'm pudgy.

Spencer

I didn't say that.

Carly

Maybe I should just leave the room before my skirt explodes!

Spencer

I don't think that-- [a worm falls on Spencer's head] ...a worm fell on my head.

Hey! Move, lady!

Carly

I'm helping the environment!

Stupid hippie!

Carly

Well, Wendy and I were trying to study, but Griffin kept turning up the music, so Wendy got frustrated and left. Then I told Griffin he was obnoxious and he said I should "rent a sense of humor" and I said "Oh, really?" and then while I was telling him that I needed to study I realized he's super-cute, and he asked me if I like music, so I go "Who doesn't like music?". So then I turned on some music and we started talking and then I realized he's really sweet, and fun and his face was right there in front of me so I leaned over and I kissed him! And I don't kiss like (making kissing noises) I kiss like a princess!

Spencer

You are grounded... for... till college.

Carly

For till college?!

Spencer

FOR TILL COLLEGE!!!

Carly

Why?!

Spencer

For kissing that delinquent!

Carly

You're the one who took him under your wing!

Spencer

Well, this wing shall flap no more. Griffin is never allowed up here again, and you're never allowed to have any contact with him!

Carly

Why? What did I do that was so bad?

Spencer

Oh, you know, lipsy.

Carly

I'm almost 15! How old were you when you started kissing girls?

Spencer

Elev--that is not the issue!

Freddie

[greeting Carly and Sam] Buenos dias, muchacha-latas.

Carly

Freddie, we need your opinion.

Sam

And if you can, try not to make it stupid.

Carly

Sam... What would you think of someone who... collects Pee Wee babies?

Freddie

I don't know, depends. How old is she?

Carly

Aw, man!

Freddie

What?

Carly

"She"?! Why'd you have to say "she?!"

Freddie

What is going on here?

Sam

"She" is... Griffin.

Carly

Oh...

Freddie

[raises fists in triumph] YES!!!!! OHHHH YEAAAAAAH!!!!! HA HA HA!!!!!

Carly

It's NOT funny!

Sam

It's kinda funny...

Sam

So you gonna break up with him?

Carly

I don't know. I don't wanna be a terrible person. Should I just keep dating him?

Sam

Why not? Hey, maybe you can double date. You know, you, him, Willy the Walrus and Peggy the Penguin...

Carly

Peter the Penguin. Maybe I should wear a bunny suit on our next date!

Sam

He'd probably ask you to marry him!

Carly

Then we can honeymoon on Pee Wee Island!

Griffin

Real funny.

Carly

GRIFFIN! [makes shocked sound] I... I didn't know you were there!

Griffin

You were making fun of my Pee Wee Babies! What, you don't think Pee Wee Babies are cool?

Carly

Well, I just thought you were a different kind of guy.

Griffin

What kind?

Carly

The kind that doesn't collect Pee Wee Babies?

Griffin

Okay, look. If you can't accept my hobby, then maybe we should break up.

Griffin

Well?

Whee!

Don't break up with us, Carly!

Love us!

We can all get married!

And honeymoon on pee wee island!

The sand on the beach is made of sugar!

Whee! Whee!

Griffin

You know what? Forget it. We're over. [leaves]

Sam

Dude, he's walkin' out.

Carly

[relieved] Yeah...!

Carly

[about Sam being paranoid] And last year you were sure Gibby was a mermaid.

Sam

He hates wearing shirts! Coincidence?

Carly

[about the expiration date of a box of chocolates] I can't read this. It's written in... foreign.

Sam

Well, I looked it up, it says 1992. That chocolate's older than the Fresh Prince of Bel Air!

Carly

What are you doing?! (swats a piece of Persian chocolate out of Sam's hand)

Sam

Having a piece of Persian chocolate.

Carly

You said it was a stomach bomb!

Sam

But it's so good. (she tries to take another, but Carly swats that out too)

Sam

Those dingo people are dead!

Carly

What are we going to do?

Sam

We're gonna go find them and kick them in their Dingoes!

Carly

Okay, next person who says bowels sleeps in the bathtub!

BOWELS! I got the bathtub!

Carly

No! No, no, no, no, no-no, no. (she runs and closes the window shades)

Sam

Okay, let's shake 'em up.

Carly

What is that?

Sam

A sock full of butter.

Carly

For what?

Sam

For swinging! I can brain an elephant with this thing!

Carly

We're not gonna go in there and start hitting TV writers with a big buttery sock! We're gonna be professional and firm.

Sam

Fine, but if they deny stealing from iCarly, I'm gonna get swingy with this thing!

Carly

Not unless I say it's okay.

Sam

May I get swingy?

Carly

Yes.

Mr. Howard

Wearing a turtleneck is a violation of school rules.

Carly

Oh, I can't wear a turtleneck, but he can be shirtless?

Gibby

Check the handbook. (he gives it to Carly)

Carly

I'm not drawing your sticky green foot at 2:30 in the morning!

Spencer

But look how it glistens!

Carly

No!

Spencer

Why?

Carly

'Cause you kept me up all last night lecturing me about the history of yellow, and then today, you made me sit in the park and draw hobos for three hours! I need to sleep...

Spencer

Come on, just draw my foot!

Carly

I'm going to bed!

Spencer

Thought you wanted to be an artist!

Carly

Good night, Spencer.

Spencer

Look at my foot!

Carly

You're very weird!

Spencer

You're overreacting!

Carly

No, the head of security said, "You're never allowed back in this community center ever again"!

Spencer

People forget!

Carly

They took our pictures and thumbprints!

Spencer

...Yeah, they're never letting us back in there.

Carly

Why? WHY would you embarrass me?!

Spencer

I don't know. 'Cause I'm a big jerk. And I think I got paint up my nose.

Carly

You deserve paint up your nose!

Spencer

Look, if I swear not to get all psycho, will you let me teach you how to draw?

Carly

A bunny?

Spencer

Maybe you should start with a hamster. Hug?

Carly

After you take a shower.