Loud Kiddington quotes from Histeria!

Loud Kiddington

[regarding Lady Godiva riding through town naked] See it!! See it!! See it!! [swings away] Don't see it!! Don't see it!! Don't see it!! [swings back] See it!! See it!! See it!! (swings away) Don't see it!! Don't see it!! Don't see it!! ...and I don't wanna see it!!

Loud Kiddington

Total war.

Loud Kiddington

[reenacting the fall of the Berlin Wall]

Father Time

For the greatest ideas in history, check out a library. But for the funniest idea in history, check out...

Loud Kiddington

HISTERIA!

This is a library!

Shhhhhhhh!

Father Time

Watch Histeria!, weekday mornings on Kids' WB!

...at home, where you can laugh as loud as you want.

Loud Kiddington

BETTER!

Aka Pella

Like, mister, are you okay?

Toast

I think the dude's having a nervous breakdown.

René Descartes

Oh, you think so, do you?! Well, I think that -- Think? Think! That's it! "I think, therefore I am!" I did it! I did it, huhuhu! [in singsong] I found a basic axiom upon which to be acknowledged!

Toast

Spare me the details, brainy-dude. Can I get paid for the pizza now?

René Descartes

No no no, wait wait, I'm on a role! "I think, therefore I am!" Don't you see? It is so simple! If I think, then I exist. If I don't think, then I don't exist! Now I can solve any mystery known to man! Go ahead, ask me something! Something!

Toast

Who's gonna pay for this pizza?

René Descartes

I--I don't know. I have absolutely no idea. I can't think! Therefore I am-- [suddenly vanishes]

Toast

Gone, chuh! The dude stiffed me!

Loud Kiddington

What a gyp!!

Toast

Hey! Don't disappear on me, deadbeat philosopher dude! Think yourself back into existence! Somebody's gotta pay for the pie, man!

Father Time

Everyone be very, very quiet. The slightest sound could make this whole place crumble to pieces.

Miss Information

I just hope there's no truth to the curse of King Tut's tomb.

Loud Kiddington

Curse?! There's a curse?!

Miss Information

Quiet!

Loud Kiddington

What kind of a curse?!

Miss Information

Shh!

Loud Kiddington

I didn't know there was a curse!

Miss Information

Shh! The walls could collapse on all of us.

Loud Kiddington

I don't want to hear about any curse!

Fetch

I'm with him!

Father Time

1766 B.C. brought with it the Shan Dynasty, which led to the use of bows, arrows, and spears.

Froggo

Spears for fighting our enemies.

Loud Kiddington

ARROWS FOR DEFENDING OUR FAMILIES!!

Pepper Mills

And bows for final touches on our snappy hairstyles! Ahahahaha! I love it!

Loud Kiddington

Lord Caesar!! Bad news!! There's a plot against your life!!

Are you sure?

Loud Kiddington

Yes, Lord Caesar!!

Get me my chariot!

Loud Kiddington

Lord Caesar, where are you going?!

To the Senate, where else?

Loud Kiddington

But the assassins wait for you there!! It could mean certain death!!

I know, I know, yippee!

Loud Kiddington

What a nut!!

Loud Kiddington

Bad news, Lord Anthony!! Octavian's forces have surrounded the city!!

Really?

Loud Kiddington

Yeah, situation stinks!

Yeah, well, uh, hmm. To the front!

Loud Kiddington

But Lord Anthony, we're outnumbered twenty to one!! The front will mean your certain doom!!

I know, haha, I know. Oh, well. Bottoms up!

Loud Kiddington

He's a nut too!!

Loud Kiddington

Hey folks, Loud Kiddington here! And just when you thought your Stone Age life couldn't get any better, along comes... the wheel!

Fetch

It's the biggest thing since the rock!

Loud Kiddington

My dog Fetch here will eat bat guano if I don't sell you a wheel.

Fetch

Eat what?!

Loud Kiddington

Yes, the wheel! All new for 3002 B.C.!

Fetch

I'm not eatin' bat guano!

Loud Kiddington

We'll discuss it later.

Fetch

No we won't!

Loud Kiddington

So come on down to Sumeria and buy a wheel! 'Cause if you don't, my dog Fetch here will eat a big pile of elephant plop!

Fetch

Say what?!

[singing] Go see Loud, go see Loud, go see Loud!

Loud Kiddington

We'll see you here!

Fetch

I quit!!

Loud Kiddington

Howdy, Carthaginians! Loud Kiddington here! And if I can't make you a deal, my dog Fetch'll eat a buffalo chip!

Fetch

Say what?!

Loud Kiddington

Yes sir, it's a giant year-end beast of burden blow-out! Check out these savings! Here's a nifty model - take a test drive on the all-new Lipizzaners!

Wussies!

Loud Kiddington

Or for rugged terrain, try our four-by-four all-weather oxen!

Puny!

Loud Kiddington

Or for something even tougher, we can fix you up with your very own Teamsters!

Disgusting!

Loud Kiddington

Howdy Roman citizens! Loud Kiddington here! And if I can't make you a deal, my dog Fetch'll eat a meadow muffin!

Fetch

Huh? What's with this kid?

Father Time

In 218 B.C., Hannibal finally reached the Italian border.

Prepare to meet the wrath of the great Hannibal, you Roman dogs!

It's Loud Kiddington and his dog, Fetch!

Now what?!

Loud Kiddington

Howdy, Hannibal!

Fetch

Your lease on the elephants is up, and you've exceeded your mileage!

Huh?

Loud Kiddington

That'll be 10,000 dinari!

Fetch

Payment due!

[laughs] I'm Hannibal! The greatest general the world's ever known! I don't pay bills! Now get out of my way before I turn you into roadkill!

Loud Kiddington

Have it your way! [He claps his hands twice, causing the elephants to sling their riders into the dirt. Loud and the Kid Chorus taunt them from atop an elephant.] So long, deadbeats!

Crow's nest! You see anything?

Loud Kiddington

LEMMIE CHECK! [peers through periscope] OMG!!!

Christopher Columbus

What is it?

Loud Kiddington

GUESS!

Christopher Columbus

Land?

Loud Kiddington

[imitates buzzer] OH, I'M SO SORRY, NO! NOTHING BUT WATER! [face turning red] YOU STARTING TO GET THE PICTURE, CAPTAIN!?

Christopher Columbus

I think the crow's nest needs a little vacae.