NNostradamus
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went, [the lamb was sure to go, but in Germany where]
There was a scary man named Hitler!
“The Know-It-Alls”
In this episode: René Descartes (5), Toast (2), Loud Kiddington (1), Charity Bazaar (1), Lucky Bob (1), Cho-Cho (1), Aka Pella (1)
I drink, therefore I must visit the restroom. No... I wink, therefore I flirt with girls. Nooo! I sink, therefore I must take svimming lessons!
[answering the door] What do you want?!
I'm not happy.
Neither am I!!
Hi mistah! Wanna buy a magazine? I've got Time and Sports Illustrated, Fortune, People, Entertainment Weekly, Highlights...
No! Go away!
Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the windmill this morning! Right, Lucky Bob?
Yes!
Pizza's here!
What?
Here's your pepperoni pizza with extra barbecue sauce, hold the anchovies.
I didn't order any pizza!
Yeah ya did, I got the order right here.
That is not my address; this is for Galileo. He lives in Italy.
Well, I don't think I can get there in a half-hour or less.
Like, mister, are you okay?
I think the dude's having a nervous breakdown.
Oh, you think so, do you?! Well, I think that -- Think? Think! That's it! "I think, therefore I am!" I did it! I did it, huhuhu! [in singsong] I found a basic axiom upon which to be acknowledged!
Spare me the details, brainy-dude. Can I get paid for the pizza now?
No no no, wait wait, I'm on a role! "I think, therefore I am!" Don't you see? It is so simple! If I think, then I exist. If I don't think, then I don't exist! Now I can solve any mystery known to man! Go ahead, ask me something! Something!
Who's gonna pay for this pizza?
I--I don't know. I have absolutely no idea. I can't think! Therefore I am-- [suddenly vanishes]
Gone, chuh! The dude stiffed me!
What a gyp!!
Hey! Don't disappear on me, deadbeat philosopher dude! Think yourself back into existence! Somebody's gotta pay for the pie, man!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Histeria! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.