OK. On order: Four covers, Table 4. Two risotto, one spaghetti, one Caesar salad.
(to Giovanni) Is it [the water] boiling?
I'm waiting for the water to boil, Chef.
You expect me to tell Jean-Philippe we're waiting for your water to boil?
(interview) Oh, man, Gio. How do you expect to cook pasta in water that's not boiling?
Hey, look at me. There's no olive oil in there, the water's not seasoned, it's not even boiling!
(interview) Oh, that was my fault. I didn't check my equipment. It won't happen again, that's for sure.
Let's go, Giovanni, let's go! Oh, my God...
While Giovanni's in hot water, over in the Red kitchen, Coi's trying to get ahead.
[Gordon notices Coi cooking pasta]
(to Coi) Why are you cooking spaghetti when I haven't even fired it? DAMN!
I can't believe this! Why can't you just drop it to order?!
I'm just trying to get ahead, chef.
You can't get ahead! You're not that good!
(interview) I was trying to get so many steps ahead, so I'm kicking myself in the ass because if I would have listened better, he wouldn't be screaming at me.
Coi? Put some more spaghetti in. Make yourself...
Hey, I'm joking, you stupid cow!
It's an hour and 15 minutes into dinner service, and while food its way out of the blue kitchen...
LLady
Look what's in my salad.
..not all of it is edible.
[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with a Caesar salad]
What's going on on there?
That's from, uhm, table 20 blue.
[Gordon checks the salad, then finds a butt of lettuce in it]
Hey, ALL OF YOU! COME HERE! Who dressed the Caesar salad?
I did, chef. [Gordon shows the butt of lettuce to the members] (whispering) Jesus Christ!
[Gordon returns the butt of lettuce to the plate and violently throws the plate onto the floor]
Oi, bozo, Are you fucking stupid?
No, chef, I'm not. (interview) J feels like a jackass because of that freaking lettuce. I should have seen it. It's a disgrace. It really is.
I did not, Chef. If I saw it, I would never put it in there.
(interview) Pretty hard to believe that that butt of lettuce went out there. It's hard to miss that big lettuce chunk if you're just tossing a small salad.
Despite J's serving the butt of the lettuce, the blue team has served most of their appetizers.
[Gordon checks on lamb brought up by Ben]
Come here. All of you, come here! Put it down. (to Ben) Put it fucking down. What is that?
Lamb chop, yeah? Eat it. (gives the lamb to Ben and he eats it) Happy now? Now it's getting thinner and thinner and thinner. There's another one. There's one ripped to fuck there now. Too thin, cowboy.
(interview) I'm like, "Ooh, why are you sending that out?" It looked like a piece of carpaccio on a bone, man.
(to Ben) How can someone so fucking fat slice something so fucking thin?
Sorry, chef. It won't happen again, chef.
I wouldn't even serve that to my fucking dog!
I'll fix it right now, chef.
[Colleen brings her wellingtons to the pass]
Hey, stay here, you. Three Wellingtons, you brought me four. One medium, one medium-well, one well done. Where's the medium one?
The medium-well's here, Chef.
Where's the well done one, then?
So what the fuck is that one?
I don't know, chef. I'll take it back.
You don't know. That's funny, isn't it? A little "Ha-ha," "Tee-hee," and "God Bless Nebraska?"
[over Gordon] No, it's not funny.
On order, four covers, table three. One scallops, one risotto, one spaghetti, one Caesar.
(to Giovanni) Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon!
Entrées: one Dory, one chicken, one lamb, one wellington.
Come here! What did I just call out?
[wiping his face with a cloth] I don't know, chef.
No, I know you don't know because you weren't even fucking prepared to listen. No wonder you're struggling.
[Seth uses the same cloth he just wiped his face with to clean a pan, then wipes his face with it again]
What is he doing? Hey you, hey you, come here. [takes the cloth from Seth, and looks at him in disgust]
I just watched you wipe your face and then wipe a pan. If this one's for your fucking nose, where's your cooking cloth?
[throws the cloth back to Seth] Fuck off, will you?
Where's the Wellington, please?
Two minutes on this ticket and the next, chef. So sorry, chef.
GGuest
It's a little on the rare side.
Scallops are undercooked, gonna have a refire, please.
(disappointed) What is going on? Oh no. Oh. [cuts to Coi accidentally dropping her spaghetti on her station] Fuck off - oh, no. Shit! Look at that! You, guy. (Robert) Come here, you fat fuck. Come here. All of you, come here. COME HERE! Hey, hey, look at me. You are pathetic. NO ONE won! FUCK OFF, both teams, start thinking about two of you to fucking go home. (to Coi) You, PATHETIC! I don't want anymore. (to Ben) I don't-I don't want to wait for your shit anymore, (to Danny) I don't want your shit anymore, (to Seth) I don't want you drying your face, and then fucking cooking with the cloth, YOU SCUMMY FUCKER! GET OUT! [all chefs exited the kitchen except Ben; he approaches him] GET OUT!
Where's the wellington, please?
Chef, I'm re-firing the wellington. The bottom's burning.
[begins searching] Where's the medium-well wellington?
I'm putting projector paper.
[finds that Andrea has hid her burnt meat underneath her station] Oh, shut up you, yeah? Shut up. What is this? [starts getting the meat]
They burned. I'm not quite sure why.
Watch. Look, look, look, look. (to the members) Hey, come here! Oy, oy, oy! There you go. There you go. There--Oh, dear! [throws a burnt wellington against the refrigerator] Fucking pile of shit!
(interview) I'm screwed. I'm fucking screwed.
Anything else?! Any - what else have you hid?!
No, chef. That's it, chef.
That's it, is it?! WHY'D YOU DO IT?!
Trying to get it together, chef.
I don't-- I just--[throws his cloth] I-I don't understand it!
Red, [Table] 53. Tanya Steel.
Not done? (returns to the workstation) There you go. Yeah, I've had enough. I've had enough. [slams the plate on the stove] Come here! There you go. (to Carol; gives her a piece of pear) Take a bite and pass it along. (to LA) LA, wake up, yeah?
It's hard as a fucking rock.
Raw pastry, raw pear. That's her! [kicks a bin]
(interview) Chef Ramsay wasn't kidding when he said it was raw. It was raw. That's just, "Sorry. Poor judgement."
(to Colleen) You didn't know that's raw pastry with a raw pear?
(interview) Everybody else was just looking around like, "You've got to be kidding me."
Un-fucking-believable! [goes to the blue kitchen and sits in fetal position]
Tonight, dinner service has totally collapsed.
Oh, Christ almighty! Two and a half hours of bullshit.
And Chef Ramsay is at the end of his rope.
(to Jean-Philippe; after returning to the pass with raw desserts) Oh fuck off. I'm... I've had enough. [goes to the red kitchen] Hey, when I say, I've had enough, I've had enough. Stoves off. [calls both teams] Come here. That was pathetic. (to Andrea) And you were absolutely useless. CLEAR DOWN! I can't take it anymore. It's been the worst performance so far. SWITCH IT FUCKING OFF! [throws his spoon away]
As the Blue Team heads to the spa for a day of pampering...
...Back in the dining room, Max's mom lets J.P. know he'll be working with someone to plan the party...
BBrenda
This gentleman's very recommended.
FFrancisco
Bonjour, darling!
BBrenda
Oh, here he is now.
...Someone he knows all too well.
FFrancisco
JP, hello! It's so good to see you! [hugs J.P.] I'm so thrilled to be back! Are you thrilled to see me?
BBrenda
Alright, well, we'll see you tomorrow night, OK? Great party.
FFrancisco
Thank you so much!
Thank you. (to Francisco) You, listen.
FFrancisco
(whispers) Yeah?
You are not interfering with my job.
FFrancisco
I respect your boundaries.
Leave my thing for me, and then you do your little thing.
FFrancisco
"My little thing." Oh, it will be so happy.
FFrancisco
Oh, here they [the Red Team] come.
Ladies, ladies, ladies, we've done a few parties in the past with Francisco.
FFrancisco
I'm so excited to be here! This is so fabulous! [the ladies laugh] Wait until you see what we're making. We are going to go up, up, and away with beautiful balloons, all around. It's going to be so festive!
(interview) Oh, Francisco's just fabulous, all the way around.
FFrancisco
We have twinkly centerpieces on all of the tables...
(interview) It's the way he talks, it's the way he dresses, everything. He's fabulous.
FFrancisco
We are going to make this the most beautiful sports arena!
(interview) I'm gay, that dude is parade gay.
FFrancisco
Let's get to it!
How long for the risotto and pasta?
Plating up the pasta right now.
[tastes the risotto then spits it out] Taste that rice, taste the rice. It's like mush! Show me the rice.
Oh, my God! It's overcooked! It's like mush! Who cooked the rice?
[flashback to when J cooked the rice for both teams, pouring two boxes into one pan]
The blue team? What? [goes over to the blue kitchen] Oh, come here you, all of you! Who cooked this rice?
Look at it, J! How can you do that, J? [hurls the rice in the trash] J! For both teams?
Aw, fucking hell. Oh, come on. You can't do this!
(interview) The risotto was mushy, clumpy and nasty, and it definitely was not a good way to start the evening.
It's mush! Did you cook it all in the same pan?
Oh, fuck me. Oh, come on, fuck off J.
I'll get a pot on, chef. (interview) That pissed off Chef Ramsay, and I really didn't need that, because he's been riding me hard the past couple of days.
(to Jean-Philippe) Jean-Philippe, stop the risotto, yeah? (to J) J! I can't believe you just screwed the service in both kitchens!
(interview) J, you're my friend and I like you a lot, but today, you fucking suck, man.
[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with pasta]
Yeah, it's really undercooked, chef.
(to Carol) Hey, you, madam. The pasta's raw! Who's running the appetisers?
Well, then run it, then! Does she [Andrea] wipe your ass?
No, chef. (interview) I get fucking yelled at because this stupid bitch can't fucking cook? What the hell is up with that? (to Ramsay) There's must be some mix-in because it's...
What?! Why aren't you tasting?
So you tasted it, and you knew it's raw, and still sent it!
(interview) That stupid bitch doesn't fucking say anything when Chef Ramsay's yelling at me? FUCK THIS SHIT!
Madam, come here you, mouthy little bitch! You [Andrea] come here!
(to Jean-Philippe) Hey, give me that table out there! (to Carol and Andrea) And sit on that table and eat that! Both of you, fuck off out there! It's not undercooked, it's raw! RAW, Carol! [gets ticket from Jean-Philippe]
(to Carol) Let's eat it. Let's get this fucking over with.
(to Carol and Andrea) Hey, you're not coming back until it’s clear and you let me know how it tastes!
(interview) I was appalled that I had to stop during service. That pasta was grossly undercooked, and I had to eat that shit! (to Carol) Fucking eat up, girl.
It’s- it’s- I’m eating it. It’s fine.
While Carol and Andrea chew on their mistakes, in the blue kitchen, J is hoping to redeem himself.
(with a piece of undercooked salmon) J!
Come on, then! Look, it's still stone-cold. Back in the oven! Fucking hell...
J, I know you're busy, buddy, but how long on the salmon, my man?
Give me the tuna! Give me the-
He said four minutes out. Can you make it four?
Everything you've touched so far, tonight, has been screwed.
(interview) J just lost his shit, man. He was just clamming up, didn't take control. He was burning the seafood, he was sending raw seafood.
That's called burnt salmon, not seared salmon!
(interview) It takes a real good chef to recover. (to J) You can really turn this around if you want to.
Wipe your face, wipe your face. [J wipes his face with his sleeve] With a rag!
Coming around. Right here, chef.
[finds out that the salmon is overdone] Hey, bozo, SAUCE! Come here, you. Put that down, come here, you. Come here, you! Get in there! GET IN!
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
I know, chef. I got no fucking excuse.
What's the matter with you?
I don't know. I'll fucking turn it on right now, chef.
I can't fucking go any further! Please, wake up!
I've got sauce on one, and two Dory on. LA?
[LA is standing still and staring into space]
(interview) It's almost like LA was half-asleep or something.
GGloria
Come on! LA, wake up! Are you sleeping?
She's dreaming. Come on, more (voice cracks) SAUCE, you silly cow!
(interview) He called me a cow. For the first time.
Don't cook all the fucking Dory in one pan unless you're boiling them, yes?
Yes, chef. (interview) In the real world, you wouldn't have someone yelling at you like that. You wouldn't have someone calling you a cow, a bitch. You wouldn't. 'Cause if someone in the real world called you a cow or a bitch, you would walk up to them and sock them in the face.
