Narrator quotes from Hell's Kitchen

With the clock running out on their two hours...

Come on guys, you got 25 minutes to go yes?

...the blue team is moving quickly but not carefully.

[finds fried chicken along with fries in the fryer] All of you, come here! [gets the fryer and slams it on the stove] So who's the fucking smart-arse? Who's the fucking smart-arse?

I put the chicken in there chef.

What, with the fries?

I just dropped the chicken in the fries chef.

Let's go! Go with the chicken! Come on!

Jason! Jason, look at me!

Yes, chef! I'm looking.

It's not fucking good enough!

Yes, chef!

It's a fucking fine dining restaurant, yeah? Not a fucking fast food pick up joint! Get the fries out of there first, then put your fucking chicken in there!

Yes, chef.

Thank you!

The fries weren't done, chef.

The fries are a fucking side! Get your chicken going and get the fucking - Listen to me Jason!

I'M LISTENING CHEF!

THEN DO IT THEN! DO IT!

I'M DOING IT CHEF!! I don't want to put up with this fucked-up ass bullshit. It's fuckin' crazy. I don't give a fuck. Fuck it.

But Salvatore has a question.

Chef, did you say one risotto? One risotto, one capellini?

Two risottos, one capellini, one truffle salad.

Yes, chef.

Let's go. How long?

One minute chef.

Let's go!

Yes, chef.

Have you got enough in there for two?

I got it. [puts more rice in the pan]

Why are you putting more rice in there? Is that because you just found out there's two risotto?

No, no, no.

Oh, my God! Hey, blue team, come here, all of you! The risotto's one minute away from being cooked. He realises we're one portion short. Then they start dumping fresh rice in there. Who's smart idea was that?

It was my idea chef.

Why didn't you tell me then?

I apologize, chef.

Salvatore, working with a cook who tells lies is 10,000 times worse than dealing with a chef who can't cook! You just lost my trust! How dare you? PATHETIC! Benjamin, watch him; the guy's a fucking liability.

Yes, chef. (interview) You don't lie to your chefs and you don't lie to your fellow cooks. That's like a fucking no-no.

Salvatore, now we should start the whole fucking lot again!

Yes, chef.

Nilka, where's the risotto?

Right here chef.

Nilka, no lobster!

Oh shit! I thought I put lobster in there chef.

Hey madam, you're cursing in front of the children. Hey look at me, I need you to wake up rapidly. Just cook!

Say no more.

With Nilka's risotto stalling the red kitchen, Jean-Philippe distracts the customers.

[goes over to where a little girl is coloring a picture of Gordon on her menu and adding the quote "YOU DONKEY!"] Let me have a look at it. What's on there?

"You donkey."

Yeah but it's not my picture, who's picture is that? Chef Ramsay and you call him donkey.

No, he says it.

Well, whatever Chef Ramsay says now and then, don't use it.

I won't.

When he's out of the kitchen, I keep reminding him, "Chef, you can't do that."

All of you! ALL OF YOU! (Gordon interrupts Holli) That's you ditsy!

For one simple question.

Is that the best roast chicken and is that the best fucking beef requested mid-rare? (grabs Siobhan's hand) I want you to touch it. I want you to touch it! Touch it! Touch it! Touch fucking IT! (throws spoon away)

No.

No, no it's not. The chicken's dry.

Where's the gratin on top?

It got pulled off. It was on there before.

No, it wasn't.

Look at me! Is that the best?

No, chef.

Is that the best?

No, chef.

Is that the best?

No, chef.

Do me a favour: FUCK OFF, ALL OF YOU! GET OUT! GET OUT! And don't you dare switch it off, I'll finish it! Fuck off!

I would love to stay an-

GET OUT! OUT! GET OUT! (throws the chicken into one of the units) GET OUT!

(to herself) I'm sick of this shit.

[follows the red team] GET OUT!

That's really embarrassing. What happened?

[goes into the blue kitchen] Scott, come in here with me and I'll finish this one, please, yeah?

Okay.

Now, Chef Ramsay and his trusted sous chefs, Scott and Andi, will complete the red kitchen's dinner service.

Three spaghetti, one tagliatelle, yes?

Three spaghetti, one t- (sees the mess that the Red team left) Oh, my god! What the fuck did they do to this place?

Yeah, I know.

Wow, they're really bad, huh?

Yep.

While the blue team gets out all the desserts, Chef Ramsay calls the red team back to the kitchen.

All your entrées are served, everything's done. Now come back and do something you're good at, fucking cleaning! At least you'll do something as a team!

The Red Team lost, but there seems to be some confusion as who the nominees should be.

Who is the best chef on the Red Team?

Chef, I feel like I'm the best.

Absolutely not! You just take over and say "Oh well, I did this, I did that!" You want to gloat and rub it in our faces. It's bullshit!

It's not gloating or rubbing it in your face, it's just letting you know the truth.

We don't need to hear it! We've been doing it before you.

None of you guys work in fine dining restaurants.

You could have surprised us, the way you've produced over the last two days.

Oh, thank you Fran. You as well, you've had a pretty easy ride the whole way through.

Yeah?

Injure your hand a little bit, and you get treated like a little fucking princess.

Oh, yeah, okay.

(rolls eyes) Wow. Great team-work there!

Where is the scallops?

How's the scallops?

I had to re-fire one order of scallops.

(goes to Siobhan's station; gets her pan of scallops) Look at this! What are you doing there?

I thought they look golden brown, chef.

Stop, fuck off will you?

I thought they look fine, chef.

You thought they look golden brown.

(interview) They were fucking black.

Take that, yeah?

There are some on here that were fine, chef.

So, where's the fine ones then?

They're right over here.

(interview) Shut the fuck up and cook. 'Yes Chef' and cook. Don't talk, cause he's only going to shove his foot deeper in your ass!

Where are they? Where are they? You've got the nerve to tell me that some of it were fine. (points out some scallops) Wishy-washy, not even seasoned and you know what? More importantly, they're boiled. You DONKEY! Fuck off out! Get out, get out. Get out, there you go. Get out! Fuck off to the bar and eat it!

And Chef Ramsay has sent her to the dining room to eat her mistakes.

In the dining room, one customer...

Is it cooked?

It's rare at best.

(talks to waiter) I asked for medium and that's rare completely.

Shit!

Decides to take manners into his own hands.

[at the pass] Oh no! This is rare.

(who stands at the Red kitchen) Service, please!

Fuck!

What's the matter? Oh, talk to me?

[pointing at the beef] Medium?

Excuse me? Hey, you don't call me you acting like on it's funny. (to male diner) Yeah, do me a favour: That's his [JP] job, you fuck off, yes?

Are you trying to poison me?

Poison you? What a fucking dick. It's beef, you fucking idiot, tartare! (to male diner again) You never heard of that?

It's low-grade beef, at best.

Go get a shave, you fucking knob-end!

It's low-grade dog food, at best.

(goes to Blue kitchen) Let's go. Standing on ice on a fucking jerk. Stand strong, buddy! Stand nice and strong. Push your arms up and you're like a fucking quail!

Fucking hell. (to the chefs) Now pick it up!

Yes, chef.

With Nilka gone, the kitchen jumps into action.

Two minutes to the window.

Two minutes, chef!

But Nilka isn't ready to leave just yet.

Let's go, Scott please?... [sees Nilka] Nilka!

Chef...

No, no, no. I'm in the middle of service. Take your jacket off and get out of Hell's Kitchen. I've had enough. I-I can't do it, okay?

Please!

Nilka, don't do this to me. They're under pressure, we're under pressure. Take your jacket off and get out!

I want to still cook and prove myself, chef. (interview) And I won't stop, no, 'cos this is my dream, this is my fucking destiny, and this is what I want.

[reading off a ticket] Turbot, wellington...

I want to cook!

Lobster, turbot, wellington, beef. Let's go.

I don't want to leave like this, chef.

Oh, fuck me. Fucking hell.

Let me go to my station.

(interview) Nilka wouldn't leave. She was asked to leave one time, then leave. Get the hell out of here.

Please? I can do this shit!

Turbot, lobster, wellington, beef. Nilka!

I want to cook!

GET OUT!

I want to cook! I can do this! Please!

Hey, guys, I'm telling you now, do something for me. Get her OUT OF HERE!

Nilka, you got to go.

Benjamin!

Oui chef.

Get her out!

You got to go! When chef tells you to go, you got to go.

Go, go, go! (interview) Hurricane Nilka just had an absolute category five meltdown.

Oh my fucking God. I don't want to leave.

Nilka, get out.

GET YOUR JACKET OFF AND GET OUT!

This is so fucked up. I gave my whole life for this shit. (interview) It hurts to get kicked out of here like this, it really really does. I don't want to take my jacket off. (walking out) Fucking bullshit. (interview) It it - oh, it's just... it pisses me off that it went down like this, it really really did. It really really did.

Dinner service has been completed with time to spare and the diners are off to the theater. (cuts to Nilka packing her bags) But they aren't the only ones exiting Hell's Kitchen in a hurry.

(interview) You know it hurts to get kicked out of here like this, it really really does. I don't want to go home. I don't want to go home. I don't... I came here for a reason. [sheds a tear]

I was hoping I'd get to see you again.

Listen, I just want to say that you walk out of here with your head up high. Sadly, you're not ready to take that head chef's job. But what you are ready to continue doing is following your dream. Don't stop that.

I'm not, I'm just so mad at myself because I think I was ready. But tonight proved otherwise.

Listen, you have done phenomenally well. I've never come out here to say goodbye, but I wanted to make the effort to say goodbye and to say thank you.

(tearfully) Thank you.

Come here. [they both hug each other] Thank you. Yes. [opens the passenger side door of the taxi] Now, one more thing.

Yes, chef?

Your jacket.

No, you don't have to.

[laughing] Your jacket.

[laughing] I don't want to. [hands over her chef's jacket] Thank you, chef.

Good night, my love.

Good night.

Well done. (as the taxi starts up) Head up high.

I will. Always.

Ben finally has entrées ready for Chef Ramsay.

Three halibut, one wellington. (finds that the brought up entrées are for the other table) One tagliatelle, one chicken it's for the next table.

Unfortunately, they're not the entrées he's looking for.

I've really fucking had enough, Benjamin. Because no-one's fucking concentrating. So easy for you to ruin things. Well, let me tell you something, you fucking ruined my night!

(interview) It was crazy over there, I think it was just off. And people need to, like, take a step back from everything that's going on and just cook.

You all DONE it before, and you can do TEN TIMES better, BUT NO ONE GIVES A FUCK! (kicks the bins) THAT'S WHAT FUCKS ME OFF! WHAT ARE WE DOING, JAY, ED, AND BENJAMIN?

As Chef Ramsay leaves the kitchen for a quick moment...

Tuna!

Yes, chef.

Sous Chef Scott steps in to keep the momentum going.

Pasta's up, chef.

Sure wish I had the garnish for the tuna.

Garnish for the tuna, chef.

And Benjamin unwisely decides this would be a good time to become a leader.

(reading off the next ticket) Next pick-up, two chicken, one -

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Unfortunately for him, Chef Scott is not impressed.

You think for one minute you're going to start fucking running this pass? You may be a fucking good cook, but you suck as a leader. If you think you're going to do my fucking job, I'll leave right now. You think you can do it?

No, chef.

(turning red) You think you can put up with all this BULLSHIT?

No, chef.

I know you can't, NOW GET THE FUCK OVER THERE, AND DON'T EVER COME UP TO MY PASS AGAIN, AND TRY TO TAKE MY FUCKING PLACE!!!!!

(interview) Holy crap! I don't think Ben had a good night.

YOU GOT IT?!!

Yes, chef!

GET OVER THERE!

(interview) Chef Scott ripped my fucking asshole. You know, ripped my asshole this big. That totally sucked.

After hours of tedious cleaning, the women are ready to crash for the night. Meanwhile, the oldest chef, Raj... [Raj yells an Asian-sounding battle cry, causing Russell to glance at him] ...is ready to put on a show.

Oh, my God.

Holy shit, we got a Mr. Miyagi! [Trev laughs]

(interview) I start drinking, and I start doing karate. It's a bad habit.

(interview) Just kick it down a notch and let's put that energy towards your food.

Y'know, I'm gonna get out of the way.

(interview) I thought he was about to have a damn heart attack!

Thanks to Trev, no appetizers have left the blue kitchen.

We've had a long wait. Very bright.

Apologies.

The Red team, however, have served half of their customers' appetizers, but some of them have not received their welcoming pizza.

(with a pizza) Melissa.

Yes, chef?

Touch that. Touch that. What is that?

It's raw, chef.

It's what?

It's raw, chef.

Touch that! It's raw, Melissa!

Yes, chef.

It's raw! Come on!

Yes, chef.

[mocking Gordon] "It's rawww!!" [smiles] "It's fucking rawww!!"

(interview) Boris, what were you thinking, buddy? You don't mock Gordon Ramsay.

Boris.

Yes, sir?

Come here.

Yes, sir.

So I'm telling her about a raw pizza and you're mimicking me out in the back.

Sorry, chef.

Yeah, so I'm telling her the pizza's raw, come here, you fuck-face!

(interview) Oh, no!

And there you go, you touch it then. Now look at me! Take the piss out of me now, fuck-face. What's your fucking crack?

I don't have any crack, chef.

Yeah. What's your game?

I'm just here to cook, sir.

Now look at me! You fucking take the piss out of me one more time in the middle of fucking service, yeah, kiss your fuckin' ass goodbye. Is that clear?

Understood, chef.

WAKE UP!!!

It will not happen again. (interview) Shouldn't have done that, and I meant no disrespect. What can I say? I'm losing my mind.

(to Boris) Just concentrate. Look at me, look at me. Just fucking concentrate.

Will do, chef. Yes, sir.

While Lisa's work on the fish station has left her teammates seriously underwhelmed, over in the blue kitchen...

Trev!

Chef.

Trev's salad is once again seriously overdressed.

Oh, my God!

Probably too much, chef.

That's just on one fucking leaf, come on!

Yes, chef.

Dress me a fucking SALAD!!! [violently throws the salad on the floor] Hey... fuck - you - all.

(interview) I almost wrapped my hands around his narrow neck. Salad! Salad! [shot of Trev remaking the salad] Get the salad out! Nothing's easier.

(brings up his salad) Here's that salad you're waiting on.

Thank you.

You're very welcome.

(to waiters) Service, please? BLUE TEAM!

Yes, chef?

One hour and 30 minutes into service, that's the first table of appetizers gone!

Yes, chef!

Ohhh, fucking hell.

While Sabrina needs to get back in sync with her team, in the Blue kitchen, Chef Ramsay needs...

Raj! Help them, or fuck off!

[enters the Blue kitchen] (interview) It was fairly abusive on his part, but I'm a little bit worried about Chef Ramsay's, you know, karma.

Russell.

Yes, sir.

Get off of there...

Yes, sir.

...and let these two work as a team.

(interview) Boris and Raj are working together. It's like watching two idiots do a Rubik's Cube. There's no chance on Earth they're going to get it right.

Mozzarella cheese, I got the cheese. (To Raj) All I'm asking you is to please help me the roll the fucking dough.

Where the fuck is it?

It's here. First, shape it. Here. Put it here, put it down, shape it.

The dough's there, you can't roll it.

ROLL. The FUCKING. PIZZA DOUGH.

Here's more mozzarella. [starts slicing the mozzarella]

(To Raj) Th-- ROLL THE FUCKIN' PIZZA DOUGH! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?! Are you fuckin'-...? URRRGGGGHHHH!!! (interview) My partner was sent here to sabotage. That guy is fucking nuts.

Why aren't you two working as a team?

We're doing the best we can, chef.

We're screwed on a fucking pizza.