Chuck Bass quotes from Gossip Girl

Why should Dartmouth pick you as an usher?

Chuck

Why should I be chosen as an usher? [Thinks] I'm Chuck Bass.

Blair

[Answers her phone] Finally

Chuck

Hello to you too. Heard about the field hockey throw down. All those mouth guards and short skirts, I hope somebody filmed it.

Blair

[Scoffs] You're heinous.

Chuck

Which is probably why you called.

Blair

You know me well.

Chuck

Women like to pretend they're complicated, I know better.

Chuck

[Showing Blair photos of Serena entering the Ostroff Center] Admit it, even for me this is good.

Blair

If you weren't such a perv, I'm sure the CIA would hire you in a second.

Chuck

Defending my country...there's a future I never imagined.

Blair

With good reason....What is she doing there?

Chuck

What's anyone doing there? It's a facility for the disturbed or addicted.

Blair

You must have your own wing.

Chuck

You don't get nearly enough credit for your wit.

Once you turn away from money you see that it doesn't buy you freedom, it pays for your prison. They say I disappeared, but all I did was break out.

Nate

So where'd you go?

Where didn't I? I did cleanup post Katrina, spent a year rebuilding Manchu Pichu, which let me tell you, changed my life. I bought at HD cam and started filming if for a documentary-

Chuck

You're the guy who gave us our first joint, snuck us into our first club and you're gonna tell me the life of a YouTube filmaker is better than this. You invented the Lost Weekend.

Nate

Who cares about a party when you can travel the world? [Chuck scoffs]

Exactly, in the real world, all that matters is who you are. Not what you own.

Chuck

As much as I love the speech about not needing material things from a guy who has that much product in his hair, this party is about excess, not exposition. Stop talking, start partying.

Nate

It's exactly what he [Carter] said. The money, the drugs, the privileges, they're just keeping us numb, so we don't notice it's better out there in the real world.

Chuck

The real world? Everyone out there wants to be us. We are what you aspire to, not run away from.

Nate

[Scoffs] You really don't get me do you?

Chuck

That dream of yours, what is it really? Cause I hear you talk about how you don't wanna go to Dartmouth and how you don't wanna follow in your father's footsteps, but what exactly do you want?

Nate

All I know is it's not this.

Chuck

Well you better discover what it is before you throw everything away trying to find it.

Jenny

Let's play a game.

Chuck

I'd say strip poker, but I don't have any cards.

Blair

You want your dad to invest in a strip joint. How midtown.

Chuck

Hey, burlesque club! A respectable place, where people can be transported to another time. Feel free to let loose with no judgement, pure escape. What happens in Victrola stays in Victrola.

Blair

Well, it does have franchise potential. Chuck Bass, I do believe all your years of underage boozing and womanizing have finally paid off. Truly, I am proud.

Chuck

Well, you are my toughest critic. Well, second toughest.

Blair

You know I got moves.

Chuck

Really? Then why don't you get up there?

Blair

I'm just saying I have moves.

Chuck

Come on, you're ten times hotter than any of those girls.

Blair

I know what you're doing, Bass. [Pause] You really don't think I'll go up there.

Chuck

I know you won't do it.

Blair

Guard my drink.

Nate

[About his mom] She wants me to give Blair her ring.

Chuck

What? You guys broke up.

Nate

Yeah, I know. I mean, wait, how did you know?

Chuck

Predictably, your ex ran the old, uh, grill-the-best-friend play.

Nate

Where's the girl?

Chuck

In my dreams, I was trying to get some shuteye. What's on your mind?

Nate

It's my mom.

Chuck

Sounds Freudian.

Nate

She wants me to give Blair her ring.

Chuck

What? You guys broke up.

Nate

Yeah, I know. I mean, wait, how did you know?

Chuck

Predictably, your ex ran the old, uh, grill-the-best-friend play. Tried to find out where your head was at. So uh...where is your head?

Nate

Spinning. I mean, my mom wants me to get back with Blair so Eleanor won't pull out of their business deal. It's all cause of my dad's whole trial thing, you know?

Chuck

Hey, I'm sorry about all that. But look, if you're done with Blair, be done. Don't cave to your parents wishes if they're not your desires.

Nate

Excuse me? Where's my boy? Seal the deal, tap that ass? Money marries bigger money?

Chuck

Look, I care about three things Nathaniel. Money, the pleasures money brings me and you. I'm just trying to have your back here. Your parents have been controlling you your whole life, if it doesn't end now, when will it ever?

Chuck

Are you ready for your present? [Blair pulls his hair] Ow! If you wanted to play rough all you had to do was ask.

Blair

[Lets go of Chuck's hair] You nauseate me.

Chuck

All this talk about how you have to be with Nate or the world will end, face it. It's over.

Blair

You sound like a jealous boyfriend.

Chuck

Yeah, right. You wish.

Blair

[Thinks and then lets out a laugh] No... You wish.

Chuck

Please, you're forgetting who you're talking to.

Blair

So do you. Do you...like me?

Chuck

[Pauses] Define like.

Blair

You've got to be kidding. I do not believe this.

Chuck

How do you think I feel? I haven't slept, I feel sick, like there's something in my stomach. Fluttering.

Blair

Butterflies? [Chuck looks horrified] Oh no, no, no, no, this is not happening.

Chuck

Believe me, no one is more surprised or ashamed than I am.

Blair

Chuck, you know that I adore all of God's creatures and the metaphors they inspire. But those butterflies, have got to be murdered.

Chuck

Fine, it wasn't that great anyway.

Blair

What was that?

Chuck

I should ask you the same question. Perfect gentleman? Perfect date? That broken record was a hit last year. Get with the times, he bores you.

Blair

You almost made a fool of me in front of the New York Times. Which proves my very point: you can't be trusted. Nate is a gentleman. He would never cause a scene.

Chuck

Never get your blood going, either.

Blair

Speaking of going, that's what you should do. Carter Baizen is on his way here, right now.

Chuck

What? What the hell are you doing with Carter Baizen?

Blair

He left his jacket here yesterday and I'd rather you be gone when he got here. There have been enough scenes for today.

Nate

I just don't get it. I organized everything the way she likes it. I mean, I even made sure my bow tie matched her dress.

Chuck

Like the book says, "She's just not that into you."

Chuck

How glad are you that our two families are merging together, sis?

Serena

So glad that if you ever call me that again it will be the last thing you ever say, Chuck!

Vanessa

You're sick!

Chuck

You're welcome!