Chuck Bass quotes from Gossip Girl

Chuck

You're forgetting one simple fact. Sleeping with the enemy is hot. Why do you think I had the whole Ivanka thing?

Chuck

Look, sis, for people like us a college degree is just an accessory. Like a Malawi baby or a poodle.

Chuck

Finally, what happened in Santorini?

Chuck

Hard way is the only way.

Chuck

[Through a note] I'd rather have nothing than be Chuck Bass.

Chuck

[Suggestively] If you want to thank me...

Serena

It's a sandwich, Chuck.

Chuck

Serena looked effing hot last night. There's something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be... violated.

Nate

You are deeply disturbed.

Chuck

And yet, you know I'm right. You're telling me if you had the chance --

Nate

I have a girlfriend.

Chuck

You guys have been dating since kindergarden and you haven't sealed the deal.

Nate

Who says "seal the deal"?

Chuck

Are you following us or something?

Dan

No. I, uh, I go to your school. [He gestures to their outfits]Identical uniforms. Kind of a tip-off.

Nate

[Sarcastically] That's funny.

Dan

[Sarcastically, to himself] So, you guys wanna sit together at lunch?

Chuck

I love this town. I'm going to have to tell my parents the hotel they just bought is serving minors.

Serena

And if you get a drink, they're also serving pigs.

Chuck

Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty.

Serena

You just love when a girl talks to you.

Chuck

Actually, I prefer them when they're not talking.

Serena

[Sarcastically] Mm. I've missed your witty banter.

Chuck

Let's catch up! Take our clothes off, stare at each other.

Serena

How about I just get a bite to eat. I'm drinking on an empty stomach.

Chuck

I heard you didn't do that anymore.

Serena

Special occasion.

Chuck

Well, how about a grilled cheese with truffle oil? You love truffles.

Serena

Enough to know it's not on the menu.

Chuck

I'm connected.

Serena

Only 'cause I'm hungry.

Chuck

[Smoking a joint] This is some good stuff.

Nate

Yeah, I'm gonna need it. Blair's mom is in the country house.

Chuck

Well then maybe I should swipe some of my dad's Viagra, or my mom's Paxil... Nathaniel, you're finally about to have sex with your girlfriend and it's like you're headed to your execution.

Nate

Nah, man, I'm good.

Chuck

Talk to Chuck, buddy. You and Blair have been dating forever. All of a sudden there's a problem?

Nate

There's no problem. It's just, do you ever feel like our whole lives have been planned out for us? Like we're just gonna end up like our parents?

Chuck

Geez, that's a dark thought.

Nate

Aren't we entitled to choose, just to...be happy?

Chuck

Look, easy, Socrates. What we're entitled to is a trust fund, maybe a house in the Hamptons, a prescription drug problem. But happiness does not seem to be on the menu, so smoke up and seal the deal with Blair, cause you're also entitled to tap that ass.

Nate

That kid popped you pretty good, huh? Never mess with a guy's sister.

Chuck

If I knew his name, I would hunt him down and kill him.

Nate

Because you kill people now? You gonna strangle him with your scarf?

Chuck

Don't mock the scarf, Nathaniel. It's my signature.

Nate

I'm just saying, death by scarf? Not that intimidating.

Chuck

What are you doing here?

Dan

What? Is this your hotel?

Nate

Actually, it is.

Chuck

Yeah, so unless you have a reason to be here I'll have to ask you to wait on the curb with the rest of the trash.

Dan

Trash? Look, man, I live in Brooklyn, alright? Not the Ozarks. No offense to the Ozarks.

Chuck

This isn't over.

Dan

Hey, anytime, man. That one black eye looks a little lonely.

Dan

Did you talk to my sister?

Chuck

Ah, yes. Little Jenny, I do believe she and I have some unfnished business.

Dan

You stay away from her.

Chuck

Poor Daniel, so little time so many sluts to defend-[Dan pushes Chuck into a waiter carrying a tray, both of which fall to the ground and cause glass to shatter in the process. Chuck watches in amusement as everyone stares at Dan, horrified.]

Blair

I can't believe Serena came to this brunch. I told her to stay away.

Chuck

Are you worried about Nate? [Blair glares at him]Just a shot in the dark. I think you know what you need to do to get his attention. [Holds up a key]

Blair

And what's that?

Chuck

Key to my suite, Nate's heart and your future happiness. [Blair considers this and then takes the key]I'm honored to be playing even a small role in your deflowering.

Blair

You're disgusting.

Chuck

Yes I am. So why be shy?Why don't you grab Nate and finish this. Report back with details.