Blair Waldorf quotes from Gossip Girl

Blair

Bye Georgina, may god save your soul… again.

Blair

[to Chuck] Just because we can't be together, doesn't mean I won't love you.

Serena

So, how's your mom doing? With the divorce and everything.

Blair

Great. So, my dad left her for another man. She lost fifteen pounds, got an eye lift. It's been good for her.

Serena

I'm really sorry.

Blair

Yeah, I could tell, since you didn't call or write the entire time it was happening.

Serena

I, I know, it's just... boarding school --

Blair

I don't even know why you went to boarding school to begin with. Do you know how it felt calling your house when you didn't show up at school and having your mom say "Serena didn't tell you? That she moved to Connecticut?"

Serena

I just... I had to go, I... needed to get away from everything. Please, just trust me.

Blair

How can I trust you when I feel like I don't even know you?

Serena

Well, let's fix that. I saw you at school with Kati and Is and I get it. I don't wanna take any of that away from you.

Blair

Because it's just yours to take if you want it.

Serena

No, that's not what I mean. I miss you. I just want things to go back to the way they used to be. You know, walking to school together, dancing on tables at Bungalow, night swimming at your mom's country house? You're like my sister. Y'know, with our families... we need each other.

Blair

Well, you missed some classic Eleanor Waldorf meltdowns. If it wasn't such a tragedy it would've been funny. Actually, it kinda was.

Serena

Well, I wish I could have been there.

Blair

You are now. Well, I have to go meet Nate. We kind of have something special planned.

Serena

Well, I don't want to keep you, but, um... [She hugs Blair] I love you, B.

Blair

I love you too, S.

Blair

You know, I always knew you were a whore... I never took you for a liar, too.

Serena

Blair... how can I fix this?

Blair

You don't, Serena. You just stay away. From me, my boyfriend, and my friends. You're done here.

Jenny

Wow, these dolls are great. Oh my God, you have Cabbage Patch! My brother used to have one of these, his name was Cedric.

Blair

[Snorts] Your brother's name is Cedric?

Blair

I can't believe Serena came to this brunch. I told her to stay away.

Chuck

Are you worried about Nate? [Blair glares at him]Just a shot in the dark. I think you know what you need to do to get his attention. [Holds up a key]

Blair

And what's that?

Chuck

Key to my suite, Nate's heart and your future happiness. [Blair considers this and then takes the key]I'm honored to be playing even a small role in your deflowering.

Blair

You're disgusting.

Chuck

Yes I am. So why be shy?Why don't you grab Nate and finish this. Report back with details.

Serena

Are you here for another catfight?

Serena

What's that?

Blair

A letter. I wrote it to you when you were away at boarding school. I never sent it. [She begins to read it] Dear Serena. My world is falling apart and you're the only one who would understand. My father left my mother for a 31 year-old model. A male model [She scoffs]. I feel like screaming because I don't have anyone to talk to. You're gone, my dad's gone, Nate's acting weird... where are you? [Crying] Why don't you call? Why did you leave without saying goodbye? You're supposed to be my best friend. I miss you so much. Love, Blair.

Serena

[Tearing up, she trys to regain her composure] Why didn't you send it? I would've

Blair

You would've what? You knew, Serena. And you didn't even call.

Serena

I didn't know what to say to you, or even how to be your friend after what I did. [She also begins to cry] I'm so sorry.

Spotted in Central Park. Two white flags waving. Could an Upper East Side peace accord be that far off? So what will it be? Truce or consequences? We all know one nation can't have two queens. What happens next ? Only time will tell. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Blair

[Answers her phone] Finally

Chuck

Hello to you too. Heard about the field hockey throw down. All those mouth guards and short skirts, I hope somebody filmed it.

Blair

[Scoffs] You're heinous.

Chuck

Which is probably why you called.

Blair

You know me well.

Chuck

Women like to pretend they're complicated, I know better.

Chuck

[Showing Blair photos of Serena entering the Ostroff Center] Admit it, even for me this is good.

Blair

If you weren't such a perv, I'm sure the CIA would hire you in a second.

Chuck

Defending my country...there's a future I never imagined.

Blair

With good reason....What is she doing there?

Chuck

What's anyone doing there? It's a facility for the disturbed or addicted.

Blair

You must have your own wing.

Chuck

You don't get nearly enough credit for your wit.

Serena

I'm sorry. You were right.

Blair

I know.

Serena

When I got that call, I should have known you had nothing to do with it. I know I should have never pushed you to do this whole thing in the first place.

Blair

Actually, I'm glad you pushed me. It ended up being a very important day for me. I just thought it was going to be more fun.

Serena

I know, me too.

Blair

Martini?

Jenny

No thanks, I don't like vodka.

Blair

Well, that's good. Because this is gin, as it should be.

Blair

Who does this Dan Humphrey think he is? Serena is putting up a strong front, but I can see how hurt she is. We have to help her heal her heart.

Blair, it is pretty late notice.

Most of the good ones are already taken.

Blair

No more excuses! Serena must have the hottest date ever. If he's got plans, he'll change it. If he's got a girlfriend, he'll dump her. If he's out of town, he'll charter a G5 and fly home. Make it happen.

Blair

So, I heard on Gossip Girl that you were having sex with Dan out here...in streaming video.

Serena

Oh, God. Kati and Is filmed us?

Blair

Well, it's not very high school musical scandalous. And no, they haven't streamed it...yet. But, I heard it was aggressive.

Serena

I must say, Dan has been surprisingly good at everything we've done.

Blair

Which is? Everything?

Serena

No! But, feel free to ask any personal questions.

Blair

But you've talked about it, right?

Serena

No, mom! We haven't.

Blair

May I remind you that this is your first real boyfriend, S. And in relationships, you talk about stuff.

Serena

I know, but, I don't know. Sometimes talking about it or planning it can ruin a good thing, you know?

Blair

I would know. Well, as long as you're not worried.

Serena

Well, I'm not. But, I don't know, he might be. Is it possible for a guy to want to slow things down?

Blair

Only the guys we like. [They both laugh] But with you, I can't imagine why.

Blair

You want your dad to invest in a strip joint. How midtown.

Chuck

Hey, burlesque club! A respectable place, where people can be transported to another time. Feel free to let loose with no judgement, pure escape. What happens in Victrola stays in Victrola.

Blair

Well, it does have franchise potential. Chuck Bass, I do believe all your years of underage boozing and womanizing have finally paid off. Truly, I am proud.

Chuck

Well, you are my toughest critic. Well, second toughest.

Blair

You know I got moves.

Chuck

Really? Then why don't you get up there?

Blair

I'm just saying I have moves.

Chuck

Come on, you're ten times hotter than any of those girls.

Blair

I know what you're doing, Bass. [Pause] You really don't think I'll go up there.

Chuck

I know you won't do it.

Blair

Guard my drink.