“Laryngitis” quotes from Glee

Brittany

[seeing Puck without his mohawk for the first time] Who is that guy?

Jacob

You're like a toddler with a loose lid on his sippy cup. No more juice. Get ready for payback, Puckerman.

I'm human garbage. I should just lie here until the truck comes and let it crush me to death. What's the point of living when I suck so bad?

Get ready, black girl from Glee Club whose name I can't remember right now; the Puckster is about to make you his.

I feel like that guy who lost all his hair and then lost all his strength.

Santana

Samson?

Agassi.

Rachel, I'm afraid you'll never sing again.

Just kidding.

Finn

[to Rachel about Jesse] When are you going to realize, that he's not into you like I am.

Santana

What difference does it make? Everyone knows my role here is to look hot.

Rachel

I am like Tinker Bell, Finn; I need applause to live.

Since I shaved my mohawk, I started seeing things differently. Last week, I joined a black church. And I recently downloaded every song Sammy Davis Junior ever recorded on iTunes; he was a black Jew, you know. And my inspiration.

Kurt

What do boys taste like?

Brittany

Usually dip…sometimes, it tastes like burgers. Or my armpits – kissing my armpits is a really big turn-on for me.

Santana

Enjoy it while you can, Weezy. His hair's starting to grow back.

Finn

I can't believe you narced on us!

Quinn

My baby hormones are making me moody.

Quinn

I screwed up by letting Puck get me pregnant. He's an idiot and his mother won't let me eat bacon.