Rachel Berry quotes from Glee

Rachel

OK, Why don't we all take a moment to absorb what we've just watched.

Finn

This is garbage!

Will

Finn!

No, he's right. First of all, I need to trust my instincts more, because I had a feeling when we were shooting it that it was not going to be good.

Jesse

Why didn't you tell me they were in this, too? I thought you and I were going out! Being triple-cast with two other guys to play opposite your girlfriend - it's mortifying.

Rachel

It was an artistic statement.

Finn

No it wasn't! It was you trying to look like you had a bunch of guys fighting over you, so you could stop looking like some kind of outcast and be seen as some hot, slutty girl singer! (He walks up to her) How could you do this to me? To all us guys? Is your reputation more important than all your relationships? (Finn walks out, followed by Jesse)

Rachel

Jesse, wait!

Rachel

I came in first place.

Jesse

You were eight months old.

Rachel

I was very musically verbal.

Jesse

[watching Rachel] Hi.

Rachel

[stops dancing after seeing Jesse] Hi. How was your spring break?

Jesse

Good. It's good to be back. What were you just rehearsing?

Rachel

A guy came to glee club to talk to us about dreams. Luckily, I've known mine since I was four. I'm gonna play three parts in Broadway: Evita, 'Funny Girl' and Laurey in 'Oklahoma!'. I was just practicing her dream ballet with Curly. It's what I do when I'm feeling a little stressed.

Jesse

That's not a dream. A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside. The one thing that you know if it came true all the hurt would go away. You singing 'Don't Cry For Me Argentina' in front of a sold-out crowd is not a fantasy. It's an inevitability.

Rachel

[hugging Jesse] I thought you'd never come back.

Jesse

And miss all your drama? Never.

Rachel

Guys, we have a serious problem. You know how I've been doing some deep background on Vocal Adrenaline?

Artie

Isn't that against the rules?

Rachel

No, not at all. Or…probably. Whatever! Anyway, what I figured out: I rooted through the dumpsters behind the auditorium and I found eighteen empty boxes of Christmas lights!

Tina

Oh, no.

Rachel

Which led me to the fabric store. I asked about red Chantilly lace; they were sold out.

Mercedes

Oh, sweet Jesus.

Kurt

Oh, my.

Will

What?

Kurt

They're doing Gaga.

Mercedes

That's it; it's over.

Rachel

Exactly!

Kurt

We should have guessed it. They're going for full-out theatricality. They know it's the easiest way to beat us. Damn them!

What's up with this Gaga dude? He just, like, dresses weird, right? Like Bowie?

Kurt

Lady Gaga is a woman! She's only the biggest pop act to come along in decades. She's boundary-pushing, the most theatrical performer of our generation, and she changes her look faster than Brit changes sexual partners.

Brittany

It's true.

Rachel

(about giving her up as a baby) Did you ever regret it?

Yes. Then no. Then so much.

Rachel

W-When did you realize it was the right time for me to find you?

I saw you sing at sectionals. You were extraordinary. You were me.

Rachel

[As Jesse stands in front of her with an egg in his hand] Do it. Break it like you broke my heart.

Jesse

I loved you [breaks the egg in Rachel's hair].

Will

Today, I want to talk to you about regrets. Who has some?

Rachel

Giving my heart to Jesse, just to have it crushed like the stage floor at a performance of Stomp.

Quinn

Thinking 'trust me' was a sensible birth control option.

Jacob

Rachel, how do you respond to rumors you're incredibly difficult to work with?

Finn

Well, as her boyfriend, I can answer that.

Rachel

We've been dating all summer.

Finn

Rachel's what you'd call a controlist.

Rachel

I...I'm controlling. [to Finn] "Controlist" isn't a word.

Finn

Oh.

Rachel

I'm controlling. Performing is my life. And yes, do I have opinions about it? Does my need to constantly express those opinions annoy my fellow glee clubbers?

Finn

Yes! [Rachel looks at Finn] That was out loud, wasn't it?

Rachel

I didn't send her to an active crack house. Besides, how did you guys find out anyways?

Mike

The Asian community is very tight.

Finn

They're personifying you!

Rachel

Objectifying.

Rachel

I'd like to dedicate this song to my boyfriend, Finn. I was wrong, I shouldn't try to control you. I've just, I've never been this happy before. And I realize that I was trying to hold on to how you were making me feel so much that I was strangling you in my hands like a little bird. I get now that in order for this relationship to work, I have to open up my hands and let you fly free.

Brittany

Finn can fly?

Kurt

Really?

Brittany

Wait, I thought I was the only one getting the solos from now on. Next week I'm going to be performing a musical number by Ke$ha.

Mercedes

[to Brittany] Shh!

Finn

How do you feel about me not being on the football team anymore?

Rachel

I'm actually kind of happy about it. Now I don't have to fantasize about what song I'd sing at your bedside if you were in a coma.

Rachel

Let's discuss your new-found love for Jesus and how it's affecting me. I want this relationship to go the distance, but I need to know that when I'm 25 and I've won a bunch of Tonys and I'm ready to have intercourse and babies, that those babies will raised in a certain way...

Finn

You don't think you're gonna have sex until you're 25?

Rachel

Both of my dads' people were slaves once. I need to know that my children will be free to worship in the way that I decide is right.

Finn

Sure. Of course. Yeah, they should totally go to Jew church and wear those hats and eat that salty orange stuff with their bagels.

Finn

Dude, why didn't you just tell us you wanted to pray in Muslim?

I'm not Muslim, I'm Sikh.

Kurt

She's gonna see if acupuncture will improve the circulation to my dad's brain. Amazingly needles pierce the skin better than psalms.... Can you all please leave now?

Rachel

[leaving] We just wanted to do something.

Rachel

I'm only really generous if there's something in it for me.

Finn

Yeah. But I still like you.