Rachel Berry quotes from Glee

Rachel Berry

Sue Sylvester came all the way to New York City to see me in my opening night on Broadway, 'Funny Girl', just so that she could walk out halfway through and have sex all over my apartment.

Rachel

He is magical.

Rachel

Mr. Schuester, do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to give the lead solo in "Sit Down You're Rockin' the Boat" to a boy in a wheelchair?

Artie

I think Mr. Schuester is using irony to enhance the performance.

Rachel

There is nothing ironic about show choir!

Rachel

So, why did you ask me to help you?

Finn

'Cause it's the only way I'm gonna be good...like you.

Rachel

You think I'm good?

Finn

Yeah. I mean when we first met I thought you were intimidating, and that you talk way more than you should. I even looked under my bed to see if you were hiding there. [Sees Rachel is upset by this] But then I heard you sing. I don't know how to explain it, but it touched me... here. [puts his hand on his heart but, mistakenly puts it on his right side of his chest]

Rachel

Your heart is on this side of your chest [places her hand on Finn's and moves it to the left side of his chest. They look at each other]

Finn

It's beating really fast.

Rachel

Do you want a drink I`ll buy you one?

Finn

Yeah.

Rachel

Virgin Cosmos

Finn

I like the cups. Like airplane cups all airplane like.

Rachel

You know, you can kiss me again, if you want to.

Rachel

[about vomiting to lose weight] I tried but I guess I just don't have a gag reflex.

Emma

One day, when you're older, that'll turn out to be a gift.

Rachel

We need to have a gayvention, that's a GAY intervention.

Tina

It's K-K-Kurt. He's lady fabulous.

Mercedes

Look, just because he wears nice clothes doesn't mean he's on the down low.

Rachel

He wore a corset to second period today.

Rachel

I'm sleeping with him.

Finn

So am I! ...This play is weird.

Rachel

That's Mr. Ryerson's favourite line.

The independent polling company in my Dockers has determined that you're the hottest girl in this school.

Rachel

Ew.

Will

Hey, come on, come on. Get off him! Knock it off! Get off! Get off! Hey.

Finn

[to Puck] TELL THE TRUTH!

Punk just walked in and sucker punched me.

Finn

Don’t play dumb– you’re too freaking dumb to play dumb!

Will

Come on!

Quinn

Who told you this, Finn?

Kurt

Obviously, it was Rachel.

Rachel

What? I didn't do anything.

Finn

Yeah, it was Rachel, but I want to hear it from you. I want to hear it from both of you.

Will

Finn, just calm down.

Finn

NO! THEY'RE BOTH LYING TO ME! [to Quinn] Is it true? Just tell me– is it true?

Quinn

[begins to cry] Yes. Puck is the father.

Finn

So, all… All that stuff in the hot tub… You just made that up?

You were stupid enough to buy it.

Will

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Quinn

[sobbing] I am so sorry.

Finn

Screw this. I’m done with you. I’m done with… I'M DONE WITH ALL OF YOU! [kicks a chair and leaves the room while Quinn tearfully looks on]

Jesse St. James

Lionel Richie, uh? One of my favorites.

Rachel Berry

Oh, my God, you're Jesse St. James. You're in Vocal Adrenaline.

Jesse St. James

And you're Rachel Berry. I saw your performance in sectionals. Your rendition of Don't Rain On My Parade was flawed. You totally lacked Barbra's emotional depth. But you're talented. This is one of my favorite haunts. I like to come and flip through the celebrity biographies; pick up some lifestyle tips. I'm a senior now, so this year is kinda my victory lap. Snagging a fourth consecutive national championship would just be gravy. I'm getting out of Ohio soon. I've got a full ride to a little school called the University of California, Los Angeles. Maybe you've heard of it. It's in Los Angeles.

Jesse St. James

What do you say we take her for a spin?

Rachel Berry

Here? No-no, I'm kinda nervous.

Jesse St. James

I remember when I used to get nervous. C'mon. I do this all the time. I like to give impromptu concerts to the homeless. It's so important to give back.

Rachel

[at Carmel High auditorium to talk to Jesse, with a bright spotlight on her face) Who is there? I carry a rape whistle.

Jesse

[chuckling] Just me. [Rachel sighs] Most spots are 2500 watts, this one is ten times brighter. We have to wear sunscreen onstage, but it's worth it.

Rachel

Guess everything is bigger and brighter here. [Jesse chuckles and turns the spot off] I have to ask you something, and I need you to tell me the truth, otherwise there will be consequences - life and death consequences. Because if I give myself to you, and it turns out that you're just playing me, I might die. Okay, not literally, but emotionally. It'll be the kind of heartbreak that girls like me hold for the rest of their lives. Like Barbra in 'The Way They Were'.

Jesse

[laughing and holds Rachel] Oh my God.

Rachel

What?

Jesse

You're more of a drama queen than I am. [after a moment he holds out a hand to Rachel] Hi, I'm Jesse.

Rachel

I know who you are.

Jesse

You know Jesse St. James, the star of Vocal Adrenaline, your competition at Regionals. I wanna introduce you to Jesse - the guy who is nuts about you. The guy who would never hurt you.

Rachel

[sighing and holds Jesse] No one can know.

Jesse

I understand.

Rachel

Can I ask you guys something private?

Santana

Yes, you should move to Israel.

Jesse St. James

[to Rachel, who locked in the bathroom] Just come out so we can talk. Or sing about it.

Rachel Berry

Look, Jesse, I really like you, but I can't do it. It wouldn't be right for... the team.

Jesse St. James

What does the team have to do with this?

Rachel Berry

If I give myself to you knowing that my teammates wouldn't approve, it would be like I was sleeping with the enemy. I'd be betraying them. And because I'm truly not ready to do this, I'd be betraying myself.

Rachel Berry

[to Jesse] I don't understand why you're doing this.

Jesse St. James

Because when you love something, you gotta go for it. You would never be with me completely if I were on the opposing team. And I care about you more than winning another national title. So I left Vocal Adrenaline. For you.