It's over—oh, yes, it is over!
Me and snow—we're through!
It was years of bliss, y'know. We had some good stuff and good times. I could show you pictures of the snow angels I made, but I am done. Done! […] I am with you now, buddy, a hundred percent.
Snow is nothing but annoying, icy, frozen water stuff that "falls out of the sky at inconvenient times"! It's Mother Nature's icy "Screw you, Lorelai Gilmore." […] [to some falling snow] Oh, no, no!, don't try to make up with me now! You and me are through! [swats hands at said snow] You—stupid—hate—you!
[Emily calls Richard from main house; in pool house, Richard picks up the phone]
There's a dog on the patio!
I'm sorry. You sound agitated.
Well, there's a dog on the patio.
Inside! Richard, do something!
I can't see it from here.
Well, he’s here nonetheless, and he’s looking at me! Richard, the dog is looking at me!
I’m holding, but what are we going to—Richard? [to the dog] Shoo! Shoo! [Richard is out on the patio; they continue talking on the phone.] Now do you believe me?
Well, I wasn't doubting you, Emily; I just couldn't see it.
Emily [pointing at the fire poker in his hand]: What is that?
Oh, you made it sound like it was a rabid beast, so I came prepared.
I don't see any froth on his mouth.
I see a collar but no tags. That isn't very smart.
You're getting too close.
Well, what should I do? It's freezing out here. We can't let it roam around.
Well it can't come into the house.
Why someone would fail to put a tag on a dog—
Take it to the pool house.
Well, that's why we have it.
We have a pool house for stray dogs? Love the innuendo, Emily. Fine. I will take him into the pool house.
Thank you, Richard. I came out and he was just sitting there.
Well, I can't get a visual from this angle.
Dog! I want you to come with me. Come along, dog! [dog gets up, follows Richard to pool house]
The floor's a little wet, are we getting the mats out?
That's impossible; we ordered them eight months ago. We got confirmation.
They were back-ordered and due within two weeks. Two weeks turned into eight months, and all we have to show for it is our special yellow back-order receipt. Such cheap paper they use at the mat place. That should have been a clue.
I would advise that you change our cancellation policy. These people cancel and have to pay nothing.
I hate charging people for cancelling. It's too corporate. We’re doing things differently here.
Oh, yes. Bankruptcy will be fun and different. Be sure to file for it while it's snowing, won't you? We'll go down to bankruptcy court in a horse-drawn sleigh.
We have another problem. The Goldfarbs are missing.
The Goldfarbs? Our Goldfarbs?
The ones you recommended to go cross-country skiing this morning.
Right. So they’re out skiing.
They said they would be back by noon promptly. Well, it's past noon, and their friends are here to meet them for lunch, but the Goldfarbs are erwol.
What do I care, I'm French. The point is, we strapped wooden sticks to the feet of a fat orthodontist and a woman with ugly chunky jewelry, and we lost them!
[Rory and Lorelai are preparing a feast of frozen waffles, pop tarts and similar food. Rory's laptop is set up at the table and she is burning CD's as they "cook".]
Okay, I know I was the one that said I was craving mashed potatoes, but, oh my God, they're a lot of work.
It's instant mashed potatoes. Key word: instant.
Oh, no, not instant. I have to mix water and butter into it, not to mention the adding of salt and pepper.
OK The Best of Super Furry Animals complete.
Oh! Plus I have to rip the package open, dump it into a bowl and, oh my God, are they serious? I have to stir the mixture to combine? What is this, the Gulag?
Hey, do you want the Arcade Fire?
Then yes. So basically once I'm finished with all this manual labour, I still have to clean the bowl.
What do I use the spoon for?
[Waves her hand around in the bowl.]: Pfft. Right. What do I use the spoon for?
Oh, my mistake. Carry on.
So let's cut to the chase. How badly do you want these mashed potatoes?
You wanted the mashed potatoes.
'Cause with tater tots I can just rip and dump.
Then stick with your strengths.
Quite a draw for a guy with an American Express black card.
Live band, salad, butter pats.
Little knit bags full of those Jordan almonds.
Are you ever going to ask me out? [No answer.] You flirt with me. You act like you like me a little. You show up here, with a friend, not a date. I mean, aren’t you? Ever? [Pause.] You do like me, right? [Logan smiles.] Oh. Okay. Uh, no problem. [She tries to pull away; he doesn’t let her.] I’ll just, um, let you go back to your table, and I’ll just start burrowing directly into the ground.
Logan: Rory.
I should be in China by midnight.
I have thought about asking you out, several times. I just don’t think it’s such a good idea.
Special, like ‘Stop eating the paste’, special?
You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You are incredibly interesting. You’re definitely girlfriend material. I, however, am definitely not boyfriend material. I can’t do commitment, and I don’t want to pretend to you that I can. If I were to date you, there would be no dating. It would be something, right away, and I’m not that guy.
[finding Rory and Logan in the middle of making-out] Grandma wants a picture.
Rory? What are you doing? You're at your grandparent's vow renewal thing- whatever. They're out there. God! Rory I swear!
Don't Chris, it's alright.
[seeing Rory and Logan looking disheveled] What the hell are you doing in there with my daughter? Stay away from her! That is my daughter! I'm gonna kick your ass! Im gonna kick your ass, you little weasel!
Calm down Christopher, you're drunk!
Calm down? There's a guy in there pawing my daughter!
What guy? There's a guy in there with Rory?
[stares at Logan] You, hands off her, I mean it! Hands in the air! I wanna see hands in the air!
Out! Uh, you guys better use the back way out of here.
I'll take care of dad and Luke, please go! Now go! [turns to Logan] You must be Logan, I'm Lorelai.
It’s none of your business what’s going on with Rory.
It sure the hell is my business.
Rory is my daughter. Mine.
Oh, really? Well then, where the hell were you when she got the chicken pox and would only eat mashed potatoes for a week, or where were you when she graduated high school, or started college? Huh? Who the hell moved her mattress into her dorm, and out of her dorm and back into her dorm again?
Are we okay? I mean, that wasn't exactly my proudest moment.
Aw, honey. You're the daughter of a woman who has had no end of less than proud moments. Don't worry.
That's because to Luke you're still ten years old wearing feathered angel's wings going door-to-door inviting people to a caterpillar's funeral.
Oh, now, I did that once.
Look, go back in. Catch up with Logan. Tell him everything is fine.
He went right to his car, he split.
[Lorelai is showing a guest around the Dragonfly Inn]
Figure as your little girls arrive, we'll have them here in the living room. We'll have the pocket doors to the dining room closed. Then, when it's time for breakfast, we'll open the doors, and voila, the full, beautiful effect.
We'll have music with a nice little fanfare. You like Yanni?
WWoman
Hate him with every fiber of my being.
Oh, good, we're in perfect sync. And then, we'll have small-scale tables set with china, a silver tea service, little plates, little cups, and twelve little chairs for all of them to sit on.
Wait, twelve? I thought there were six. Six little girls.
Six girls and their six dolls.
This is a pancake breakfast for the girls and their dolls.
Dolls, as in they don't have stomachs, lungs or spleens? And we are serving them breakfast?
Teeth? Throat? Colons? They don't have these things either? Unless they are Brides of Chucky.
I'm not paying attention to you anymore. [To the woman.] All right,well, I'll order everything, and all you have to do is show up.
WWoman
The girls are looking forward to this. So are the dolls!
[watching her leave] Is she psychotic?
[They head into the kitchen.]
It’s silly fun, Michel, girls love dolls. Chill.
I'm making little pancakes for the dolls, and I found these little forks they can use.
They do not have opposable thumbs!
Who, the girls? Oh, this is a handicapped group! Poor things.
The dolls? How can a doll be handicapped?
My point exactly! They are plastic and made in Banglagor!
[talking about Lorelai's breakup with Luke]
I'm gonna be distracted until we fix this.
Don't worry, because when a relationship is right, things work out.
I heard about this couple on one of those morning shows. Similar to you guys, all lovey-dovey, perfect for each other, headed for marriage, and something happened, and they broke up their senior year in college, even though they were madly in love with each other. They moved to different parts of the country. Thay married different people.
They married different people?
Had kids, grandkids. Then their spouses died. And they were available again, and they talked, and they hooked up. And now they're together and they're happily in love after 40 years apart.
What morning show was that on? I hate that story.
But they ended up together.
Was it Katie Couric? She seems very dark to me.
Listen, Lorelai? If you decide that your breakup is something that you want to talk about, please let me know.
And let me know before Tuesday, because I'm doing a paper for my Emotional Mental Health class about how women of a certain age cope with loneliness, and I think you'd be a great lead-off anecdote.
[Lorelai glares at Paris then looks at Rory]
You can't take her. She's trained in Krav Maga.
