[Rory and Lorelai are preparing a feast of frozen waffles, pop tarts and similar food. Rory's laptop is set up at the table and she is burning CD's as they "cook".]
Okay, I know I was the one that said I was craving mashed potatoes, but, oh my God, they're a lot of work.
It's instant mashed potatoes. Key word: instant.
Oh, no, not instant. I have to mix water and butter into it, not to mention the adding of salt and pepper.
OK The Best of Super Furry Animals complete.
Oh! Plus I have to rip the package open, dump it into a bowl and, oh my God, are they serious? I have to stir the mixture to combine? What is this, the Gulag?
Hey, do you want the Arcade Fire?
Then yes. So basically once I'm finished with all this manual labour, I still have to clean the bowl.
What do I use the spoon for?
[Waves her hand around in the bowl.]: Pfft. Right. What do I use the spoon for?
Oh, my mistake. Carry on.
So let's cut to the chase. How badly do you want these mashed potatoes?
You wanted the mashed potatoes.
'Cause with tater tots I can just rip and dump.
Then stick with your strengths.
Quite a draw for a guy with an American Express black card.
Live band, salad, butter pats.
Little knit bags full of those Jordan almonds.
Are you ever going to ask me out? [No answer.] You flirt with me. You act like you like me a little. You show up here, with a friend, not a date. I mean, aren’t you? Ever? [Pause.] You do like me, right? [Logan smiles.] Oh. Okay. Uh, no problem. [She tries to pull away; he doesn’t let her.] I’ll just, um, let you go back to your table, and I’ll just start burrowing directly into the ground.
Logan: Rory.
I should be in China by midnight.
I have thought about asking you out, several times. I just don’t think it’s such a good idea.
Special, like ‘Stop eating the paste’, special?
You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You are incredibly interesting. You’re definitely girlfriend material. I, however, am definitely not boyfriend material. I can’t do commitment, and I don’t want to pretend to you that I can. If I were to date you, there would be no dating. It would be something, right away, and I’m not that guy.
[finding Rory and Logan in the middle of making-out] Grandma wants a picture.
Rory? What are you doing? You're at your grandparent's vow renewal thing- whatever. They're out there. God! Rory I swear!
Don't Chris, it's alright.
[seeing Rory and Logan looking disheveled] What the hell are you doing in there with my daughter? Stay away from her! That is my daughter! I'm gonna kick your ass! Im gonna kick your ass, you little weasel!
Calm down Christopher, you're drunk!
Calm down? There's a guy in there pawing my daughter!
What guy? There's a guy in there with Rory?
[stares at Logan] You, hands off her, I mean it! Hands in the air! I wanna see hands in the air!
Out! Uh, you guys better use the back way out of here.
I'll take care of dad and Luke, please go! Now go! [turns to Logan] You must be Logan, I'm Lorelai.
It’s none of your business what’s going on with Rory.
It sure the hell is my business.
Rory is my daughter. Mine.
Oh, really? Well then, where the hell were you when she got the chicken pox and would only eat mashed potatoes for a week, or where were you when she graduated high school, or started college? Huh? Who the hell moved her mattress into her dorm, and out of her dorm and back into her dorm again?
