I'm sorry, kids. I never wanted you to know Santa was real.
S8 E6I Know What You Did Next Xmas
Um, Professor, isn't it risky to go back in time and change history?
Oh my, yes. But I'll go alone to minimize the chance of anyone becoming their own grandfather.
These things happen.
No, they don't!
Ah, here comes the Big Backwards Bang. Ow! I'm being crushed by all the matter that ever was!
Now, hold on. Xmas isn't for a week. Until then, we've got non-stop busy work.
Oh, fuff! Let's stop pretending we do anything around here. Everyone, take the week off and be with your so-called loved ones!
Really?
I forgot I had loved ones!
It's a Human Resources miracle!
Behold, my family's traditional Yuletide feast - TurDolfin! It's fresh turtle cooked inside a fermented dolphin!
LLeo
Wow, soon it's gonna be barf inside a vomit!
Dad! Sssh! Keep the truth to yourself!
IInez
Which part smells like whale butt?
Oh, that would be the gravy!
[to Bender and Zoidberg] Merry Xmas, you guys!
We didn't know you hadn't been invited anywhere.
We came as soon as we realized what losers you are!
S8 E7Rage Against The Vaccine
BNBill Nye the Science Guy's head
I'm using the principles of aerodynamics to get the hell out of here!
Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad. Love you.
MMunda
Feh, always with the loveǃ
We already hugged you. Now we gotta talk about it?
You know, I heard there's not really even a virus at all. It's just a big hoax, like the moon landing.
You were on the moon last week! You grew up on Mars!
That's what they want you to think!
According to an anonymous Internet post, your anti-anger virus vaccine causes sterility. Care to comment?
The sterility is essential. Studies show that kids are what make people angriest. Everyone hates kids!
Hello, madame, is the Voodoo HQ?
RGRobot Gypsy
You do voodoo?
You misconstrue. Who do voodoo at the HQ?
RGRobot Gypsy
I'll tell you.
FProfessor Fansworth
It's just as I feared. The virus has mutated with Omicronian Ndnd-DNA. It's a highly contagious Omicron Variant.
You're a contagious variantǃ
[about Hermes' voodoo vaccine] What bunch of mumbo-gumboǃ Anything I can't understand is fakeǃ [LaBarbara gives him the vaccine; he immediately cheers up] Ah, that's betterǃ Hermes, my friend, I owe you an apology for being so anti-voodoo. It may seem bat-whack crazy to a layman, but I see now that voodoo methods are built on centuries of brilliant scholarship.
It's okay, Professor. And it's understandable. After all, any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science.
S8 E8Zapp Gets Canceled
Ah-ha! Water! Fire's mortal enemy! Lieutenant, fire water.
Well, no worries. I can end this battle with two words. "We surrender."
AAlien
Sign this certificate of defeat, so I can show my mom.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.