Futurama Season 8 quotes

Kif

I'm through putting up with your... crap! I'm filing a formal complaint!

Zapp

It's pronounced compliment.

Leela

Thanks, everybody. It's a dream come true. A recurring dream. That I can't wake up from.

Have you been to space, Leela? Not a lotta air out there, and what we do have is, like, 50% burp.

What a wimp! Captains need to be ruthless. Women belong in the kitchen, fixing me a sweet durian pie.

Zapp

That's an offensive stereotype. Leela's terrible at baking.

Professor

Ah, what a beautiful night for smell-gazing. [sniffing, retches]

Captain Leela, having heroically secured our supply of space air, I present you the DOOP's highest honor, the Medal of Valor.

Zapp

It's pronounced velour.

Fry

Leela, where were you? It's been, like, 30 minutes.

Leela

I was falling in love with the Prince of Space. We're getting married! I know this is very sudden, Fry. I'll always remember the times we had that I haven't already forgotten.

Futurama is brought to you by... Windos! The toy so fun, it makes fun look like boredom!

Fry

I've had a full life. I eat-ed. I prayed. I loved-ed. I'm at peace.

Bender

At peace? At peace?! You selfish jerk! You're my best friend! Promise you won't leave me!

Fry

Wha... What happened? Am I alive?

Professor Farnsworth

If you were dead, how could you ask such a dumb question? You're as alive and stupid as ever!

Fry

Are you the guru of the mountain?

For a quarter, I'm a guru. For a nickel, you get a sticker that says you climbed the mountain.

Hermes

So, do those people in the casserole know they're in a simulation, or do they think that they're real?

Professor Farnsworth

Of course, they think they're real. To them, the rules of my software are just their laws of physics.

Amy

But, we think we're real. Couldn't our universe also be a simulation?

Professor Farnsworth

Absolutely not! No chance. The very idea is preposterous!

Hermes

How can you be so sure?

Professor Farnsworth

Because it's computationally impossible! For example, every atom in the universe is affected whenever one little thing moves.

Bender

Like my ass? Oh yeah!

Professor Farnsworth

That's a perfect example, Bender, and some pretty decent twerking. My software can't possibly compute the gravitational changes between Bender's ass and every other particle, so I had to have the information travel outward gradually, at a fixed speed.

Amy

Like the speed of light in our universe?

Professor Farnsworth

Right! Oh, fuff. That's just a coincidence. I had to cut other corners, too. I mean, my simulation doesn't even keep track of exactly where everything is. [...] Another convenient example. My lazy software wouldn't even decide which cup the ball's in until someone actually looked at it. Until then, it's just sort of in both.

Amy

So your programming shortcut is like quantum mechanics in our world?

Professor Farnsworth

Exactly like that! Hm, interesting. I guess what I'm trying to say is our universe is probably also a simulation.

Hermes

But that's the exact opposite of what you said one minute ago!

Professor Farnsworth

New evidence was presented and I changed my mind. I'm a scientist, not a...

Bender

Idiot?

Professor Farnsworth

...politician.

Professor, if you can make a whole simulated universe, isn't it possible that our own universe is also a simulation?

Absolutely not! You sound like a stoned freshman!

I mean, what if our laws of physics are just the computer code of some big brilliant professor playing god up there?

Professor

Nailed it!

Hm. Quantum mechanics is pretty ridiculous, but it's a moot point. Even if we are living in a simulation, there's no possible way of knowing. [...]

If our universe is a simulation, then it's running on some kind of computer, right? [...] Suppose we made something happen that was impossible for that big computer to simulate.

It would overload! [...]

Probably stuff would pixelate and look weird!

The laws of physics would fail!

Like playing a new video game on a crummy underpowered game system!

Honestly. I wanna know if I'm not living in a simulation, but not if I am. Does that make sense?

We're about to find out if we're living in a simulation! [...]

I think it makes no difference at all. Either way, the laws of the universe are way beyond our control. So, what can we do? We just make the best of it.