Aw, he's so cute. Wait, no, he isn't. He looks like Bender!
[All looking at Bender in shock]
Oh, no, no, no! No way am I that kid's dad!
BBen
Wipe my tiny, metal ass.
Ah, crap.
S7The Bots and the Bees
Didn't your mom ever tell you where robot babies come from?
No, she was a religious fundamentalist, plus she didn't have a mouth. It's an unusual combination.
I hate to crush a boy's dreams, but... [upbeat] What the heck!
Awh, I'm gonna call him Ben, after the first half of me, Bender!
[Ben lets out a small, flaming burp.]
That's my bastard!
BBBender and Ben
Leela was wrong! Leela was wrong!
That's it, Fry! For a guy who's not too bright, you're too damn bright!
Now get out!!! And don't come back until someone finds a use for a million watt idiot!!
[Fry sulks out of the room, melting the door on the way out. Exterior of a trailer park, night. There is a sign that says "Basura Blanca TRAILER FOR ESTATES" on it. Interior of the trailer where Bev lives in. Ben is tucked in bed while Bev bids him goodnight]
BBen
Mom, will I ever get to see Dad again?
BBev
No, he died yesterday. Rust monsters ate his face. Sweet dreams.
[She bashes the light switch off and leaves. Ben whimpers. Suddenly, a familiar shadow falls on his blanket and he hears a tapping on the window]
[whispering] Psst, quit whimpering or ya don't get kidnapped!
BBen
Dad!
There's a dam!
BBen
Damn!
There's a grate!
BBen
Great!
But I can't bend anything with my arms agonisingly maimed like this!
BBen
Well, maybe I can!
[Bender gasps. Ben grabs hold of the grate, however he struggles to bend it]
You can do it, son!
[Ben keeps struggling and struggling, until Bender finally notices Smitty and URL behind him]
Yeah, this ain't gonna happen.
[He cuffs Bender]
Is that even necessary?
S7A Farewell to Arms
I hope you're not too mad at me, Leela. For tearing your arm off and all.
I can't be mad, I'm on way too many painkillers. Plus, you were willing to sacrifice yourself so I could live. I mean you failed miserably, but you're only person who loves me enough to try.
RNRichard Nixon's Head
Damn thing won't turn over, like Pat on Sunday morning.
My lucky pants!
They don't look so lucky to me.
They are too lucky! I was wearing them when I found a dime in my ear, when I got a free subscription to Redbook, and when I first met Leela.
Aw! Also, oh, Lord.
Also, they're my only pants.
You wore the same pants for a thousand years? No wonder they made a run for it.
S7Decision 3012
This is the first time a presidential candidate got to see his own birth live.
If you want my opinion, Nixon's only chance of beating Travers is with filthy lies, dirty tricks and good old Quaker thuggery. [the scene expands to reveal Bender is in the Oval Office with Nixon] And I'm just the guy for the job! [Bender and Nixon laugh evilly]
BNBender and Nixon's Head
AROOO!
CTChris Travers
Look, let's be honest here. No one likes taxes. But they pay for our basic needs. Roads, schools, defense. If we hope to realise our aspirations as a great planet, we must each pay our fair share to achieve those noble goals.
Thank you, Senator. A thoughtful and lucid answer. You will be destroyed!!
This is crazy! You're from the future?
CTChris Travers
Yes. I was sent back from the year 3028 to prevent Nixon from getting elected.
I was sent forward from the year 2000, but you don't hear me gassing on about it.
S7The Thief of Baghead
Film? Who uses film? We've had digital cameras for a thousand years!
Digital? [spits] No digital camera can capture the warmth and grain o' good, ol' film.
How can you even tell? Your eyes are digital cameras.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.