Futurama · Season 4
You seem a tad wound up, buddy. And your face is greasy. Real greasy. You been up all night?
Of course I've been up all night! Not because of caffeine, it was insomnia. I couldn't stop thinking about coffee. I need a nap. [snores and then wakes up] Coffee time!
[Gets cigar out] Ah, mighty fine smokable...
Fancy cigar. Why don't you smoke it already? Puff, puff, go, go, go, go, go!
What to do, what to do. One 300 dollar hookerbot or 300 one dollar hookerbots?
The loot! The loot! The loot is on fire!
[In the credits]
Futurama: Noun. Definition: Oh, I don't know. You just watched it, dummy. What are you asking me for? Here's a fun definition. Idiot: Noun. You! This has been Roseanne, your guide to the world of facts.
Dwight, the boots only cost me 299 dollars and 99 cents. Here, you spend the penny on whatever you want.
Thanks, dad. I think I'll invest it on five shares of Amazon.com.
A risk taker. That's my boy.
The Spiderians, though weak and woman-like on the battlefield, are masters of the textile arts. Taste like king crab, by the way. Crazy bugs actually wove this tapestry of my heroic conquest while I was still killing them.
I'd like a pass to swim with Mushu.
Well, you asked the right guy. I'm the whale biologist. Though personally I hate whales. Especially Mushu.
I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later.
Eew!
Hey, I'm a porno-dealing monster. What do I care what you think?
Hey, I'm Ranger Park, the park ranger.
[cheerfully] I get it!
Now since this area's a national Bigfoot preserve, we'll start with a short film about Bigfoot while I make a few phone calls.
For the last time, I don't like lilacs! Your first wife was the one who liked lilacs.
She also liked to shut up.
We've been to every scuzzy bazaar in the galaxy, including Pottery Barn.
Don't tell me you believe in Bigfoot, you blithering ninny-hammer.
Of course I do. Bigfoot's my hero. Growing up, he was the celebrity I most identified with.
Why?
'Cause he was a loner who hated the popular monsters, yet longed to be one.
I can so relate to that.
[Zoidberg begins crying and hugs Leela. She breaks off from him]
Enough with the emotions. This isn't a fat camp.
One of these days, Ndnd - bang, zoom, straight to the third moon of Omicron Persei 8!
Fry, what in Sega Genesis happened?
Wait! Listen. I'm usually the first guy to toot my own lower horn--
I'll say! WOOOOO!
But in this case I-I just don't think it'll do any good.
That's what she said! WOOOOO!
Let's face it, you two have deep relationship problems that can't be solved by an aphrodisiac.
However huge it might be.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
