Mmm, this jerked chicken is good. I think I'll have Fry's lower horn jerked.
[from offscreen] It's used to it! WOOOOO!
S4Spanish Fry
So let me get this straight... if I buy eight Caramello bars, you all get to go to some camp.
Yep. That's exactly the lie we used to get past your guards.
[steps forward] Oh great space king, I humbly beg you to return my human horn.
Uh, human horn? How ridiculous! Why would a virile male like Lrrr need human horn? I don't even know what it's for. What is it, something you put in salad dressing?
Like you've ever seen a salad.
My weight is APPROPRIATE and ATTRACTIVE!
Yes! I never thought I'd escape with my doodle, but I pulled it out!
[from offscreen] Just like at the movie theater! WOOOOO!
[Ranger Park aims his gun at Bigfoot]
You're going to kill this innocent giganto?!
RPRanger Park
Of course not! I'm just gonna tranquilize him so I can chop off his feet as proof he exists, then dump him back in the wild. He'll do fine!
If I poach this beast's lower horn, am I any better than that ranger with his demented foot lust? Yes. But not by enough.
This human's lower horn is one of God's creatures, a living thing, and all living things, large and small--
[from offscreen] In this case, small! WOOOOO!
[Lrrr and Ndnd, having reconciled, start heavily making out, much to Fry, Leela and Bender's disgust]
Uh, you'll wanna retreat to a safe 500-metre radius!
[as they flee] Well, Fry, it looks like you get to hold onto your lower horn.
As usual! WOOOOO! RUN AWAAAAY!
[In the end credits]
You're on a scenic route through a state recreation known as the human mind. You ask a passer-by for directions, only to find he has no face or something. Suddenly, up ahead, a door in the road. You swerve, narrowly avoiding The Scary Door.
[In a lab, a mad scientist pours stuff from one bottle to another.]
SScientist
I have combined the DNA of the world's most evil animals to make the most evil creature of them all.
[He pours the liquid into a machine and it crackles and a door in it opens. A human male emerges from the smoke.]
MMan
It turns out it's Man.
[Dramatic incidental music.]
S4The Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings
Hey, guys. You missed a great delivery to Space Earth. Where you been all afternoon?
At, uh, uh, a concert.
Ooh, was it jazz noodling? My ex-boyfriend Sean played the sax. I used to listen for hours while he sat naked on my couch and improvised.
So musicians really Rodger your Hammerstein, huh?
Yeah, it's weird; Sean was uneducated, unambitious. He was pasty and hunched--
[quietly] Pretty boy...
But when he played I could sense this incredible, beautiful creative soul. Then one day I found someone else's couch fibers on his butt.
That could be my beautiful soul sitting naked on her couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing.
Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by "devil", I mean Robot Devil. And by "metaphorically", I mean get your coat.
Oh, Fry. All this time you've had this incredible gift and I never knew. I've been a fool. A fully-justified, prudent fool. [holds his new hands, then quickly draws them back] They're so cold...
[shouting from street below them] And yet hell is so hot! [laughs briefly] Can I have my hands back now?
No!
[sulkily] You're not nice!
Ah, how delightfully ironic.
It's not ironic, it's just mean! Take this! [Honks his air horn, only for it to become depleted]
Ooh! Out of aerosol. Also ironic.
Oh, yeah?! Well, bite my shiny metal-- [remembers that he gave up his crotch plate] OH, NOOOOOOOOO!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.