[to Bender] You've accomplished so much more than most of us would bother to.
S7Stench and Stenchibility
ZZindy
I'm sorry, Zoidberg, I can't see you anymore. Something's come up. It's vomit.
[Zoidberg and Marianne lean in to kiss each other for the first time, but Zoidberg pulls away.]
First, let me pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming! [He pinches his arm with his claw and cuts it open.] [screaming] Owch! I forgot I was a giant crab!
S7Meanwhile
I want this diamond right here.
UGUltra Guy
Classy choice, Chief. She'll crap her pants.
No, don't! You'll shred me into a zillion p...
I think it's about time we drank the champagne János poured all those years ago. May I read the toast I was going to make?
Go for it. I'm in no rush, after walking up 240 flights of steps. And across those oceans.
"To us. If I could make one moment last forever, this is the one I would choose."
I'm glad you did. It was a good life.
Kind of lonely, though? Maybe?
I was never lonely. Not even for a minute.
[the light appears again]
I guess we'll never figure out what that glimmer is.
Nope. Pretty, though.
[the light suddenly stops in front of the couple]
Hey, hey, wait it's doing something!
I'll protect you. [she tries to whack it with her stick, but she falls over] Hi yow!
[The light turns into a long, stretching, twisting and turning tunnel; the Professor comes out of the tunnel]
Professor?! You're alive?!
Yes, it's me. Boy, did somebody hit you two with an old-and-ugly-stick.
I thought I killed you with the Time Button.
I thought so, too, at first. But it seems I was simply rotated into an orthogonal time that runs at right angles to this one. I've been tunneling for decades, searching every instant from yesterday to tomorrow.
We've been right now the whole time.
I wasn't looking for you, I was looking for the Time Button. [Fry shows the Professor a plastic bag with the Time Button's pieces] Oh!
I landed on it and time froze. I tried to fix it once, but then I got mad and hit it some more. I guess it's good we didn't have children. [Leela nods]
[Snatches the pieces out of Fry's hand] Oh, give me that, you senile old idiot! Oh, let me see that goes there lefty loosey, righty tighty, and fixed!
What?! I could've fixed it that easily?
You? [laughs maniacally] Okay. I've modded the device to release a single huge antichroniton blast. It should rip us out of stasis back to the instant before I conceived of the Time Button.
You mean we'll all get to live our lives over again?
Oh, my, yes. Even that nasty robot, what's-his-name. Of course, we won't remember anything that's happened.
[to Leela] What do you say? Want to go around again?
[taking his hand] I do.
[the two kiss and hug; the Professor pushes the Time Button and there is a flash of white...]
S7Simpsons Crossover: Simpsorama
LLisa
Professor Farnsworth, I'm dying to know how you got here. Was it a time machine?
Little girl, time machines are physical impossibilities. We teleported from a singularity that I quantum-entangled to Bender under the guise of fixing his collar.
FProfessor Frink
Yes, but how did Bender get here?
With a time machine.
LLisa
But you just said that—
Sample's ready!
MMarge
[thinking] Don't mention her eye, don't mention her eye.
[thinking] Don't mention her hair, don't mention her hair.
MMarge
Eye... am so pleased to meet you.
Nice to be hair!
[Bender tries to kill Bart]
Aw, I can't do it.
LLisa
What stopped you, Bender? Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics?
You think robots care what some hack science-fiction writer thinks? I killed Isaac Asimov on the way over here. Well, Isaac somebody.
LLisa
All we have to do is dig up the time capsule!
And bury Bart in the hole!
MMarge
I thought people in the future would be more full of peace and love. Like in Epcot Center.
In our time, Epcot Center is a work farm for the weak.
Oh, but it's not as crowded as the slave-labor camps at Universal Studios.
S8 E1The Impossible Stream
HJProfessor Hubert J. Farnsworth
Fry, don't be the idiot you are. Before you go jabbing into your visual cortex, I implore you to…
[Pan to Fry, who already has the googles being drilled into his brain]
Ow! My cortex!
H5Humorobot 5.0
What is the deal with non-binary robots? [The audience of personal computers doesn't appreciate the joke] Wow, PC crowd.
[Fry has pledged to watch every season of every TV show ever made]
Without Fry’s interruptions, efficiency is up thirty-two perc— Mmm!
[Hermes draws the line going down as Fry enters the room]
Well, my butt's numb and my remote hand is dead, but all I have left is the final season of All My Circuits.
Which final season? They've been cancelled, like, three or four times.
Pfft, Loserama.
The final final season, from 10 years ago. I wonder how many episodes were in it?
Hmm, twelve… No. Thirteen thousand and twenty.
[gasps] Thirteen thousand and twenty? I’ll never make it! I’m sorry, Leela. I’ll never be able to watch enough TV to make you proud of me. [sobs]
[sighs] It might actually be possible. But… no.
What? What is it?
It’s risky, but we have a technology now that allows you to watch all the episodes in one continuous stretch. We call it… bingeing.
If you don't crank out new episodes quickly, Fry will be dead by lunch!... I'm having ham salad.
But this is impossible. To keep him from running out, we'll need to produce an hour-long episode every hour. Nonstop. Forever!
If Law & Order can do it, so can you.
I'm the spokesman for fast acting.
You're the spokesman for fast-acting hemorrhoid cream.
Your point?
I have none.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.