TV show quotes
Catastrophe Beach Party – scene one. Cue disaster effects and, action!
[the entire studio gets flies through the air. The walls of the building fly off and the letters to the Hollywood Sign follow. A man screams while shooting away]
Cut! That extra looked at the camera; we'll have to do it again.
Cash, cash, cash! Too many bones and not enough cash? Sell your extra bones for cash! Ribs, skulls, spines, even certain little ear bones! The leg bone's connected to the... Cash Bone!
[Dresses cat in Nibbler's sailor suit] Admiral Cutiepaws reporting for duty... I mean, cutie!
My best friend died in that uniform.
Can we at least know what you're doing down there?
We're certainly not building anything sinster, if that's what you mean. Come on, Bender. Something sinister won't build itself.
Professor Katz's last name is Katz. You think he has something to do with all these cats?
The conclusion is as inescapable as it is moronic. It's time we paid him a visit. [Hands Amy a pistol] And if he won't listen to us, perhaps he'll listen to Smith & Wesson. [Picks up large plasma cannon] Or perhaps Consolidated Headmelter.
So you call my thesis a fat sack of barf and then stole it?
Welcome to academia.
I'm finally done with school! How's the job market?
[Pointer lands on "dog"] Ruff!
Core magnetic field, 31 microteslas.
Nice.
Temperature? Woah! The magma P.I. is 10,000 degrees Selleck!
You've got a bright future, Amy. As sure as the Sun sets in the east.
Leela, it’s time you and I had a talk.
A talk? You can’t break up with me! You’re my pet!
Tonight, we have a new resident here in the hall of Hominids, generously donated by its discoverer, Hubert Farnsworth. Ladies and gentlemen, Homo farnsworth.
Once again, science saves the day. The end.
And now, to discuss the scientific implications of this discovery, our new museum curator, Dr. Banjo!
[Farnsworth spits out his drink]
Thank you Professor Farnsworth, for your generous gift, which has, once and for all dis-proven evolution.
[Banjo pulls a cord and a painting of Homo farnsworth riding a dinosaur is revealed.] Behold! Homo farnsworth frolicking with dinosaurs at the moment of creation.
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
Don't worry, I know how to handle bullies, just pretend like you're pathetic. [Brett Blob comes towards him and Cubert] Help! I'm scared. I wet myself, I'm crying like a baby and I'm soaking in pee. But what else is new!
Hahaha the pee babies peed themselves! I'm off to pottery class, dorkwads.
As a professor of science, I assure you we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey-men.
And here's something. [Finds a fossilized dog] Uh-oh, it's another one of Fry's dogs.
Did you find something, Hermes?
No.
[Zoidberg and Cubert are standing near the fossil of a long-necked reptile.]
Look, Cubert. The neck on this one. I bet he spent a fortune on ties! What, too soon?
I highly doubt a Jurassic Elaphrosaurus has access to neckwear.
I knew I should have gone with the ring-around-the-collar joke.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
