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7 SEASONS

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Futurama quotes

1,210 quotes · page 58 of 81

Futurama
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S6Lethal Inspection

They have phones in booths now? Finally! I don't have to lug this cell phone around.

Aw, shoot!

K1Killbot 1

Someone said "shoot!"

[Killbots 1 and 3 shoot at Killbot 2 and 2 explodes]

K1Killbot 1

We're gonna get fired.

K2Killbot 2

Someone said "fire!"

[Gunfire kills killbot 1 then killbot 2 is killed by the tunnel.]

K2Killbot 2

Cease fire. Mom called off the attack, although I don't see how it's her-

K3Killbot 3

Someone said "howitzer!"

[Killbots 1 and 3 start firing on the middle killbot, eventually blowing themselves up.]

If you were really dead you wouldn’t be laughing so hard.

Yeah, yeah. Death’s a big deal to you fleshbags. But in case you didn’t notice, I’m a robot.

So? What if something heavy fell on you? Like a church? You could still die.

Nuh uh! My wireless backup unit saves a copy of me every day. So, if my body gets killed, big whoop. I just download into another body. I’m immortal, baby.

What? Then how come you always scream so much when you’re in danger?

I never said I wasn’t a drama queen.

S6The Late Philip J. Fry

You're not going anywhere!

But I have a date.

You were late this morning. So you'll have to stay and test my latest invention.

[They walk over to a giant sheet covering something. He reveals a time travelling machine.]

Behold! A time travelling machine!

[Fry and Bender gasp.]

Time? I can't go back there!

Ah, but this time machine only goes forward in time. That way you can't accidentally change history. Or do something disgusting like sleep with your own grandmother.

I wouldn't wanna do that again.

EElzar

Weren't you the loser who got stood up at my other restaurant?

Shut up and bring me two dinners!

HBHedonism bot

Everywhere I looked there were piles of bodies. And then the explosion struck.

IYIn The year 252525

In the year 105105,

If man is still alive,

If robot can survive,

They may find...

In the year 252525,

The backwards time machine still won't have arrived.

In all the world, there's only one technology,

A rusty sword for practicing proctology!

In a future year that ends with a twenty (351120),

A shlubby merman's gonna try to get chummy.

He may look like a watery wimp,

When in fact he's a bloodthirsty shrimp!

In the year 1000000&1/2,

Humankind is enslaved by giraffe.

Man must pay for all his misdeeds,

When the treetops are stripped of their leaves!

Whoa-oh!

I got a feeling this could be exactly the point in time we've been looking for.

[This future is entirely covered in a dead desert, covering as far as the eyes can see.]

Nope.

[Farnsworth takes up a device that scans the area and turns up an X on its screen and buzzes.]

In fact, all life is extinct.

[Outside the time machine in the year one billion, Fry is returning back to Bender and Farnsworth, who were just hanging around watching the vast emptiness of extinction.]

You know, all in all, I had a good life. What you say the three of us grab a six pack and watch the universe end?

Hear, hear!

That's basically what I do every day. [pulls out a six pack]

[As the trio are all inside the time machine, they all open their beer cans and toast.]

To the end of the universe.

[Fry pulls the switch. The machine starts ticking. They sit down and wait. Outside the sun explodes and the Earth crumbles before them. Truly marking the end of the world.]

So long, Earth. Thanks for the air and whatnot.

[The sun vanishes into nothing and the universe behind is revealed. A set of white explosions occur in the form of fireworks. They gasp in awe.]

Hey, uh, what was the purpose of life anyway?

Who knows? Probably some hogwash about the human spirit.

Mm-hm.

Sounds about right.

[Before them, the universe expands in size as the galaxies float away from one another making the universe darker and darker. Thus, marking the end of the galaxy and the universe as a whole.]

The stars are receding. Oh, the vast emptiness. [shakes his can at Bender]

Yeah, yeah, I can take a hint. [takes Farnsworth's old can and gives him a new one]

[takes a sip from his new can] Ah, the last proton should be decaying about now.

[The machine's indicator is ticking up from 1 × 1035 AD.]

Bye, last proton.

And... [stands up] ...here we are; the end of the universe.

[The camera zooms out to reveal that there is literally nothing left. With the exception of the time machine, of course. Farnsworth sits back down.]

Well, now what? You guys wanna talk?

No thanks.

I have to admit, I was afraid you wouldn't make it.

That was the old Fry. He's dead now.

S6That Darn Katz!

KProfessor Katz

We shall now vote "yea" or "nay". Nay.

Nay!

ETEthan "Bubblegum" Tate

Hell nay!

FSProfessor Fisherprice Shpeekenshpell

The horse says: "doctorate denied".

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