That emotional display is making me nauseous. [turns the flashlight around] Or, maybe it's whatever that is.
S2I Second That Emotion
S2Brannigan, Begin Again
GGlab
I can think of no better place for this centre of diplomacy than here in orbit around the Neutral Planet. What are your thoughts on this momentous occasion, Your Neutralness?
I have no strong feelings one way or the other.
It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing: Rock crushes scissors ... but paper covers rock ... and scissors cut paper. Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper, and bring me a rock.
My friends, you can take away a man's title and his uniform but you can never take away his integrity or his honour. Plus it was mostly Kif's fault.
What?
GGlab
Kif Kroker, you are also stripped of your rank and dishonourably discharged.
Oh Leela! You're the only person I could turn to; you're the only person who ever loved me.
I never loved you.
I meant physically. Just let me work for a little food. I could paint a fence, or service you sexually, or mop the floors.
You don't know how to do any of those things.
Kif might!
Throw her in the brig.
We don't have a brig.
Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as "the brig".
[Later]
What shall I do with your civilian clothes?
Take them to the laundry/brig!
This is Zapp Brannigan of the good ship ... Planet Express Ship. I come swinging the olive branch of peace.
NPNeutral President's Aide
Should we trust him, Your Neutralness?
All I know is my gut says maybe.
Leela, save me! And yourself, I guess. And my Banjo. [Fry looks at him.] And Fry.
NPNeutral President's Aide
Your Neutralness, it's a beige alert.
If I don't survive, tell my wife, "Hello".
S2A Head in the Polls
[In outer space, it involves a stopwatch and an untied shoe]
You're entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster or some kind of weird mirror. [involves a showering man and half-eaten piece of chicken] These are just examples. It could also be something much better. Prepare to enter The Scary Door. [the door opens, revealing the title card itself] As per your request, please find enclosed the last man on earth.
[The man is in a library amongst the bookshelves.]
MMan
Finally, solitude. I can read books for all eternity. [His glasses fall off and break.] It's not fair! It's not fair! Wait, my eyes aren't that bad. I can still read the large print books. [His eyes fall out.] Aaah! It's not f-- Well, lucky I know how to read Braille. [His hands fall off.] Aaaaaaah! [Then his tongue falls out and finally his head comes off.] Hey, look at that weird mirror!
It's not like one vote ever made a difference.
That's not true. The first robot president won by exactly one vote.
Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.
But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.
[about the binary code dream sequence] Whoa, what an awful dream. Ones and zeros everywhere, and I thought I saw a two!
RNRichard Nixon's Head
Look here, you drugged-up communist! I paid for this body, and I'd no sooner return it than my Cocker-Spaniel dog, Checkers.
CSChecker's Head
Arf!
RNRichard Nixon's Head
SHUT UP, DAMMIT!!!
Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates... Puny human no. 1, puny human no. 2, and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon.
RNRichard Nixon's Head
Hello Morbo, how's the family?
Belligerent and numerous.
RNRichard Nixon's Head
Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family. [pulls a live baby out of his chest compartment and kisses it]
BBender (watching television)
Great, first he steals my body, now he's touchin' my stuff!
RNRichard Nixon's Head
Nixon with charisma? My god, I could rule the universe!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.