Turanga Leela quotes from Futurama

Leela

Why weren't you kong donkeys outside cleaning up?

Dr. Zoidberg

They sent us inside for doing an unsatisfactory job... [he turns his head, revealing egg yolks dripping from his fronds] and eating penguin eggs.

Fry

You ate most of them.

Leela

My God! Even the professor is bent!

Prof. Farnsworth

[Bent facing the floor] Thank you for your sympathy, talking square of linoleum.

They travel from world to world making everyone stupid in order to wipe out all thought in the universe.

Leela

Wipe out all thought? My God, they're like flying televisions.

Nibbler

And so, life returned to normal, or at least as normal as it gets in this primitive dirtball inhabited by psychotic apes. Thanks to the effects of the brain waves, the people of Earth have not memory of what had transpired, except Fry, and no one believed him or cared what he had to say. I, meanwhile, returned to my post, ever vigilant, lest Earth again come under brain attack. And when that day comes, God help us. God help us all.

Leela

Time for a diapie change.

Nibbler

End transmission.

Professor Farnsworth

Good news, everyone! We were supposed to make a delivery to the planet, Tweenis 12, but it mysteriously exploded.

Leela

Why is that good news?

Professor Farnsworth

They paid in advance.

Leela

[handing Fry a note] This. You for this.

Fry

Thanks.

Leela

Noooooooo! [reaches into the fire] OWWWWW! Fire hot!

Professor Farnsworth

[comes over] The Professy will help! [reaches into the fire] AHHH! Fire INDEED hot!

Leela

Brain! Brain make people dumb!

Fry

No, Leela. Brain make people SMART.

Zoidberg

Be careful with that Adlai, Leela, he's a doctor, they're very poor.

Leela

Actually, most doctors are rich.

Zoidberg

What? When did this happen? You're joking, right? That's not funny!

I've never been good with words, which is why I'm in such a delicate conundrum. Will you go out with me this Sunday?

Leela

Sure!

I don't know what else to say, so I'll just say it. Okey-dokey, see you then.

Fry

What's so wonderful about Leela being normal? The rest of us aren't normal and that's what makes us great. Like Dr. Zoidberg: He's a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage and does.

Zoidberg

Damn right!

Fry

The Professor's a senile, amoral crackpot.

Fry

Hermes is a Rastafarian accountant.

Hermes

Tally me banana.

Fry

Amy's a klutz from Mars.

Amy

Sploops!

Farnsworth

And, Fry, you've got that brain thing.

Fry

I already did! So, Leela, do you wanna be like us? Or do you wanna be like Adlai with no severe mental or social problems whatsoever?

Leela

That's the dumbest question I ever heard!

Fry

[after Leela says that she was fine the way she was before] Yaaaaaaaaaay!

Leela

Shut up, Fry.

Leela

Wow, look at that: Olympus Mons, the tallest volcano in the solar system.

Fry

Where?

Leela

Right in front of you.

Fry

Oh. Oh!

Leela

OK, this has gotta stop. I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can.

Farnsworth

You're going to do his laundry?

Leela

Fry, stay back, he's too powerful!

Fry

Negative, bossy meat creature.

Bender

We're making beer. I'm the brewery.

I heard alcohol makes you stupid.

Fry

No I'm ... doesn't.

Leela

Actually, Dwight, you're right. Alcohol is very, very bad ... for children. But once you turn 21 it becomes very, very good.