[Drake and Josh feel tried and go upstairs as they bring Baaahhb up to their room when they tried to avoid showing it to Audrey and Walter]
[tired, picks up the lamb] Yeah.
[tired] Yeah, come on. Come on. Alright. Now. Uh, you... [now awake] You stay here with the baby and Baaahhb. I'm gonna go downstairs and make sure mom and dad aren't suspicious. [opens the door and screams at Audrey and Walter who look suspicious, much to his horror, he closes the door in front of them and runs up to Drake as he feels shocked] THEY'RE SUSPICIOUS!
[Audrey and Walter come inside Drake and Josh's room and find two sheep in their room thinking they had caused all the trouble they've done]
Well, we came up here to ask why you guys are acting so strange tonight.
But, uh, maybe a better question would be: Um, why do you have 2 sheep in your room?
Like technically, the little one is called a lamb.
You, alright, this is all Megan's fault!
No, it is. Oh, go, okay, she bought the big one online.
And then it gave birth on my bed.
[whining] And the whole thing's been really upsetting!
Okay. So you want us to believe that a sweet little 11-year-old girl somehow managed to go on the internet and buy herself a pregnant sheep.
Megan[comes home from oboe practice and goes inside Drake and Josh's room] Hey, what's going on?
Ha! Now she can tell you herself.
Yeah. You put down your oboe and tell them what they did!
Megan
What are you guys talking-? [sees a sheep in Drake and Josh's room and drops her oboe] Wow! A sheep! How cute! [gives the sheep a hug] Oh. Where'd you guys get him?
[Audrey and Walter stare at Drake and Josh as Megan pretends to not know about the sheep]
[worried] What? You got-you-you know good and well.
How long are we grounded?
[Audrey and Walter are both satisfied that Drake and Josh are both grounded for one month, the lamb baas whiles Megan hugs a sheep]
[Megan arrives in Los Angeles]
Megan
Hi.
Megan
Well see, I wasn't supposed to fly here to Los Angeles but my 2 boobish brothers put me on the wrong plane. So could you please put me on a flight to Denver?
Let me check the computer and see what's available.
Megan
Cool.
Megan
What?
Denver's experiencing severe thunderstorms so all flights there have been cancelled till the weather's clear.
Megan
Okay. Guess I'm spending the night in LA.
Can I help you arrange a ride somewhere?
Megan
Uh yeah, that'd be awesome.
Megan
Limo.
Good morning class. My name is Mr. Nichols. Now, today we're going to be learning about the atom.
No, I mean we'll be learning about molecular bonding. Now, I'm going to be teaching you guys all kinds of cool stuff about chemistry. So, you're going to need these special textbooks.
Advanced molecular theory?
AAdam
[while having a college textbook on his desk] Uh, this is a college textbook!
Megan
Yo, boob.
Excuse me, Megan, I'm your teacher!
Megan
Sorry, Mr. Boob. This stuff is way to hard for us.
[Megan's class mumble]
Shh! Alright, look, I believe that kids are way more capable then you're givin' credit for.
BBoy
Kevin's eating glue!
[takes the glue away from Kevin] Don't you know your not supposed to eat glue!? [Kevin mumbles with his mouth full of glue] Look, I just think that young people need to be challenged and I'm Mr. Challenge!
You said you're Mr. Nichols!
AAdam
I thought he was Mr. Boob!
[Megan's class laugh]
Hey, watch it. Alright, I can be quick with the timeouts! Just saying!
Megan
Yeah.
[with German accent] Alright, I am a very famous person. Who am I?
No. Hobos aren't famous. Now, here's the hint. I am a famous scientist.
No. Harry Potter is a wizard. Think. I am a German scientist.
[in his normal accent] Dude, I'm Albert Einstein! You should know this from your homework last night.
Megan
I told you, we weren't doing it.
Wait a minute. None of you did your homework?
I tried to, but I couldn't figure it out, so I asked my mom to help me.
She couldn't figure it out, either. So, she asked my dad, and then he got mad and went to a motel.
Well, then I guess I'm going to have to give you all a pop quiz.
[Megan's class complain]
OKOne kid
That's not even fair!
Megan
Yo, Einstein. If you give us a quiz on homework we didn't do, we're gonna fail!
You shouldn've thought of that when you weren't doing your homework.
Your brother is getting on my nerves.
AAdam
Yeah, he's bugging me, too.
Megan
It's not my fault.
HMs. Hunter
[comes in] Alright children- Oh no! Security! We've got another hobo in the classroom!
[the security guard sprays Josh's face]
I'm not a hobo! STAND DOWN!
Megan
Hey, guys. [her friends stare at her] Happy birthday, Katie.
Megan
I think you're gonna love this!(Talking about her present)
Uh, didn't you get my text message?
Megan
What text message?
The one where I un-invited to this party.
Megan
Um, why would you un-invite me?
BBoy
Cause nobody wants you here.
[Megan and Josh enters Drake and Josh's room]
Megan
I so don't want to do this!
Come on! Just work with me for 10 minutes!
Megan
He wants me to help him rehearse his lines for FBI's Most Wanted.
[to Josh] Dude, you are taking this acting thing way too seriously!
I just want to be good, alright?
It's acting, you show up, you say some stuff, you go home, anyone could do it.
Okay Megan, when I walk through the door, just react naturally to what I say. [he leaves the room] Megan, you ready?
Megan
Wait, let me go over my line. [looks at her script] What? Okay, I'm ready!
[unenthusiastically, while playing some notes on his guitar] Action.
[walks through the door] Where's the money?
Megan
What?
Where's the money? You give me the money, I ain't playing! [Megan giggles] Oh come on! You can't giggle!
Megan
You said to react naturally. You tried to act tough so naturally I laughed.
Okay, don't react naturally, act the way you would if I was a big scary robber. [leaves the room] Drake!
[unenthusiastically, while playing some notes on his guitar] Action.
[walks through the door] Where's the money?
Megan
What?
Where's the money? You give me the money, I ain't playing!
Megan
There's a cop behind you.
[turns around] What cop? [Megan pushes him through the door and locks it] Megan! Open this door! Alright, fine! I'll just bust it down! [tries to get in, but he falls to the floor] Never mind.
[Drake and Megan laugh]
[Drake, Josh and Megan are at Mystic Mountain waiting in line to ride The Demonator]
15. Only 15 people away from riding The Demonator.
I can't believe we get to ride it the first night it opens. Uh oh. I just had a bad thought.
Megan
What? You might grow old, never get married, and die alone?
No... But thank you for pointing out that possibility.
What if the ride's not as great as we think it's gonna be?
I'm just saying, what if it's all hype?
SSpeaker
Please exit The Demonator to your left.
[some passengers walk out of the ride]
MMan
Oh, man, that ride was insane. I feel like part of me has died, but another part has just been born. [walks out]
LBLittle Boy
I don't even care that I puked.
Megan': Yeah, it's all hype.
Oh, man, this is gonna be the greatest night of our lives.
Ah, true that. [takes another bite of his churro] Uh oh. I gotta pee.
Megan
Now?
We're almost to the front. Can't you hold it?
Maybe. But since we're all gonna be sitting in the same row--
Megan
If he doesn't make it back in time, we're still gonna go on the ride, right?
If he's mauled by a bear, we're still going on the ride.
[Drake, Josh, and Megan are bumped to the back of the line after Josh used the bathroom and got back in the middle of the line upsetting people]
Megan
I can't believe you got us sent to the back of the line!
Sorry. Yeah, next time, I'll just let my bladder explode.
Megan
Thank you!
[Milfred Mouse feels his butt noticing his tail has been off]
Hey. [takes the tail from him] You do not yank off Milfred Mouse's tail.
MMMilfred Mouse
Hey, buddy. [drops his axe] You do not yank off my tail.
Yeah, I know, he's the one--
MMMilfred Mouse
[takes his tail] Yeah, yeah, how would you like it if I yank off your tail? [he tickles Josh and he yells]
Cool it, buddy. [pushes him away]
MMMilfred Mouse
Oh-hoh, don't you push me! [he throws Josh out of the line and attacks him]
[tries to stop the fight] Break it up.
PBPirate Boy
They're hurting Milfred Mouse!
PBPirate Boy's Mom
Security!
[Drake and Josh keep fighting until the whistle blows and four guards approach]
JOfficer Jackson
Alright, that's it. Get off Milfred Mouse.
MMMilfred Mouse
Yeah, get him off of me! He attacked me.
That mouse is very aggressive!
JOfficer Jackson
Look, you mess with the mouse, you go to the back of the line.
JOfficer Jackson
You with these guys?
Megan
[satisfied] Never seen them before in my life.
JOfficer Jackson
Come on! [takes Drake and Josh to the back of the line]
MMMilfred Mouse
[distantly] Yeah, yeah, get outta here! [everyone in line claps]
Megan
Hello? Hello? Who's out there? Hello? [hears alien noises] Who said that? [Drake and Josh, disguised as aliens, comes through the fence gate towards her] Leave me alone! You'd better not eat my face! Stay away! [falls backwards; screams] What are you doing? [the "aliens" pause] What are you gonna do?
DJDrake and Josh
[exchange looks] Dance. [dance in victory] Gotcha! [chest bump]
Megan
What? [Drake and Josh take off their masks] Drake, Josh!?
[Megan comes in Drake and Josh's room while Drake and Josh are still arguing together]
Megan
Hey! Hey! HEY!
Megan
[venomously] It is 11:45 PM. I am a little girl. Little girls are suppose to be asleep by 11:45 PM. Now, this is the third night in a row that you clowns kept me up with your fighting. [Drake and Josh continue arguing] HEY! [Drake and Josh stop arguing] Here. [gives Drake and Josh a ticket]
Megan
Tickets to the Dr. Phyllis Show. You guys both go on tomorrow after school. The topic is Bickering Brothers. Now, I'm gonna go back to sleep. And I don't wanna hear another sound out of this room! [She leaves Drake and Josh's room]
I don't wanna go on the Dr. Phyllis Show.
Why? 'Cause you're afraid she'll diagnose you as a BIG JERK!?
[As they argue again, Megan comes back again and puts a smoke bomb on their table. She activates it, exiting and smirking before it emits smoke that causes the brothers to collapse unconscious onto the floor]
[Megan opens up Josh's birthday cake]
Megan
Ta-da.
You made me a birthday cake?
Megan
Uh-huh. Mom gave me the recipe. I think it turned out pretty good. (Lights the candle) There!
Wow! This is really good! It’s full of poison, isn't it?
Megan
No!
No, what then, huh, huh, huh?! Hot sauce, some kind of extreme laxative?!
Megan
Oh, c'mon. I wouldn't let you eat a cake that made you sick on your birthday.
Megan
It's okay. Make a wish!
[Josh blows out the birthday candles from his cake and it explodes and he turns around to Megan with cake pieces on his face]
Megan
I didn't say it wouldn't explode.
I don't blame you so much for doing it, as I blame myself for not anticipating it.
Drake & Josh · 289 quotes
