Gabrielle Solis quotes from Desperate Housewives

Gabrielle Solis

Well, how many seconds did the kiss last?

Gabrielle Solis

Or was it this?

Gabrielle Solis

Ladies, start your blenders.

Gabrielle Solis

Okay boys, thanks for your hard work but maybe it's time to go home and take a shower. Preferably a cold one.

Gabrielle

So now you're taking Julie on your dinner date with Mike?

Susan

Yeah, well, if Edie's gonna be there, I'm gonna need emotional support.

Gabrielle

I can't believe she wormed her way in. How did you let her do that?

Susan

I don't know, I was gonna take her out at the knees, but it all happened so fast.

Gabrielle

Well, you know what you need to do. You need to get there early, spend a little time with Mike before little barracuda gets there.

Susan

That's a good idea. Edie will get there at 05:45, which means her breasts will arrive at 05:30, so I should shoot for five.

Gabrielle

How was school?

John

I got an A minus in biology.

Gabrielle

Show me what you learned.

I hate lying.

Gabrielle

Yeah, well, I hate your ironing, so there.

Gabrielle

Yeah, I've seen who you’ve been busy with.

John

Danielle? Come on, I mean, she's just a friend.

Gabrielle

Well, before you get any friendlier, let me remind you, I can do things to you she can't even pronounce.

Don't you want to be a good person?

Gabrielle

What I want is to be happy.

That's the answer of a selfish child.

Gabrielle

I know.

Gabrielle

I'm running out of money. In a couple of weeks, I'm gonna be screwed.

Why don't you hock some of your jewelry? There's a lot of stuff you never wear, and most of it's ugly.

Gabrielle

Don't you have a toilet to scrub?

Lynette

I don't get it. I don't get who would pay Maisy for sex.

Gabrielle

Obviously someone who is not getting it at home.

Bree

Ah, what just happened?

Lynette

The stakes were raised.

Bree

Yes, yes they were. I fold.

John

What about me? Can't I be your plan B?

Gabrielle

Damn it, John. What is our new rule?

John

Stop pretending we have a future.

Gabrielle

Thank you.

Gabrielle

If you ever hurt me again, I will kill you.

Carlos

If you ever leave me for another man, I'll kill you.

Gabrielle

Boy, with all this passion, isn't it a shame that we're not having sex?

Gabrielle

I feel trapped.

John

You want me to open a window?

Gabrielle

No, I'm talking about my life.

John

Oh. Are we done making out?