Troy quotes from Community

[talking about the paintball competition] What's the prize?

Dean Pelton

It was a DVD Blu-Ray player but it was stolen, so now it's TBD.

I want TBD; is that new?

Pierce

if it's what I think I had it for a month in the seventies.

Jeff Winger, you son of a bitch. I thought you were dead, man!

Jeff

I was just taking a nap.

Annie, go back and keep lookout.

Annie

Wait, why me lookout; why not you guys?

'Cause if someone comes up here Kanye and Kumar get taken to jail; you get taken to dinner.

Annie

[flouncing energetically] You guys! I'm the smartest one in this group and all I've been used for is bait and distraction! [notices that the others are looking at her chest] Ugh! Go on your stupid mission; I hope it sucks. [leaves]

What did she say?

Abed

I don't know.

All I heard was "suck".

What's with the lava lamp?

Pierce

It's not a lava lamp, it's my mom.

Ooooh, snap! [realizing Pierce is not joking] Wait, what?

Jeff

What is UP with that CAT?

Is someone throwing it?

Abed

Troy, make me proud: be the first black man to make it to the end.

I love you.

Abed

I know.

I'm a dracula.

Abed

You mean a vampire?

I don't need to know which dracula I am to be a dracula. Nerd.

Jeff

That's my jacket! My jacket, you're stretching it! You're stretching it-!

Go back, go back, go back!

Abed

Don't stop. Keep going.

Move, move!

Abed

Now drop down, drop down! To the gate, to the gate! Go!

I'm not going without you.

Abed

[to Troy] Make me proud. Be the first black man to make it to the end. Go, go, go!

Abed! ...I love you.

Abed

I know. Make it fast.

NOOOOOOO!

Britta

I can't believe that somebody would mass-roofie an entire party.

I can't believe it wasn't me.

Jeff

I can't believe I believe you. And I don't.

Wanna watch a movie?

Abed

Sure. Aliens, cyborgs or zombies?

I don't know why, but I'm kind of over zombies.

Abed

Yeah, I don't feel like anything action-heavy. How about something light?

You seen Marmaduke?

Abed

No. Cool, cool, cool.

And so, Troy and Abed went back to the dormitory for a viewing of Marmaduke. I'm George Takei. And if your name is Kevin, here's a little freebie for your cell phone. Hi, Kevin can't come to the phone. He's on a spaceship with me, George Takei. Please leave a message. You're welcome, Kevins. Happy Halloween.

Ready for The Bus Driver, Winger? You know why they call me The Bus Driver, right?

Jeff

'Cause you've been traveling all day?

'Cause I'm taking your butt to school.

Britta

[angrily] It all starts with a quick look-see into someone's bag, and then it's a peek-a-rooni at our phone records! And before you can say "1984", the Thought Police are forcy-worcing you to bend and spread!

Jeff

"Bend and spread"? Are the Thought Police going to make love to us?

Do they find thoughts in our butts? I knew I should've read that book!

Abed

Wanna build a cardboard submarine?

Get out of my brain.

[Singing] To you!

Pierce

That was weird, how come we only sang the last two words? What happened to the happy birthday part?

Shirley

You know Troy's a Jehovah's Witness, he doesn't celebrate birthdays.

Abed

Annie and I did our best to keep the language on the cake compliant.

[Reading the message written on his birthday cake] Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Annie

Ooh! Can I sing this one? [Abed nods and Annie sings] Bitter shallow hipster / Sweater matching socks / Christmas needs more presence / Than a haircut in a box.

Annie. Nice!

Annie

Get what I did with the word presence?

Annie

It's not like I'm seeing anyone. There's just a guy...

Abed

A guy that goes to Greendale? Is it the Russian guy that looks like a short Johnny Depp?

Annie

It doesn't matter.

Is it the guy who looks a little like Vince Vaughn but smells a lot like fish?

Abed

Is it the guy who looks like Anderson Cooper but with the soul patch and the ponytail?

Annie

No.

Is it Black Michael Chiklis?

Annie

No.

Pierce

The white George Foreman?

Britta

You guys are talking about the same person: he's biracial, his name is David, and he's a human being.

Is it Fat Neil?

Abed

Bluestreak?

Pierce

Optimus Prime?

Annie

Okay, even I know some of these are Transformers.

Jeff

Is it Jean-Claude Van Overbite?

Abed

We should really start learning people's names.

Jeff

I agree with brown Jamie Lee Curtis.