“Epidemiology” quotes from Community

Jeff

What is UP with that CAT?

Is someone throwing it?

Abed

Troy, make me proud: be the first black man to make it to the end.

I love you.

Abed

I know.

I'm a dracula.

Abed

You mean a vampire?

I don't need to know which dracula I am to be a dracula. Nerd.

Jeff

That's my jacket! My jacket, you're stretching it! You're stretching it-!

Go back, go back, go back!

Abed

Don't stop. Keep going.

Move, move!

Abed

Now drop down, drop down! To the gate, to the gate! Go!

I'm not going without you.

Abed

[to Troy] Make me proud. Be the first black man to make it to the end. Go, go, go!

Abed! ...I love you.

Abed

I know. Make it fast.

NOOOOOOO!

Britta

I can't believe that somebody would mass-roofie an entire party.

I can't believe it wasn't me.

Jeff

I can't believe I believe you. And I don't.

Wanna watch a movie?

Abed

Sure. Aliens, cyborgs or zombies?

I don't know why, but I'm kind of over zombies.

Abed

Yeah, I don't feel like anything action-heavy. How about something light?

You seen Marmaduke?

Abed

No. Cool, cool, cool.

And so, Troy and Abed went back to the dormitory for a viewing of Marmaduke. I'm George Takei. And if your name is Kevin, here's a little freebie for your cell phone. Hi, Kevin can't come to the phone. He's on a spaceship with me, George Takei. Please leave a message. You're welcome, Kevins. Happy Halloween.