Have you ever seen so many yuppies with gold cards?
John Allen Hill worked his magic, and we reap the benefits.
I love these charge slips. Look here. They put down a five for a tip. All I have to do is stick a one in front of it and I got 15.
S9 E8Bad Neighbor Sam
S9 E9Veggie-Boyd
No, kale's more of a family of greens. Anything with a pungent aroma and a loose head can be called kale.
Get you another beer, kale?
It's just a small part in a commercial, but I don't know if I can pull it off.
What do you play?
A bartender.
Woody, you are a bartender.
But in this commercial, I have to serve drinks.
Woody, you serve drinks all the time.
But I have to talk and serve drinks.
You talk and serve drinks everyday.
Now you've made me nervous about working here.
S9 E10Norm and Cliff's Excellent Adventure
Excuse me. I have to check my messages.
You got one from Madame Tussaud. Get back to the museum.
[Frasier] left here pretty angry. I keep calling the house. The machine keeps picking up.
Oh, Lilith answers?
S9 E11Woody Interruptus
I'm Sam Malone by the way.
Oh! I've heard about you in France.
Oh, you follow baseball?
No. Stewardesses.
How's your love life? I mean the physical part?
I can't speak for Kelly but I'm looking forward to it.
You're telling me that you and Kelly haven't slept together?
Well, we did once when we went to see Old Gringo, but the whole row was snoring.
Well, I think this may be your problem, Wood?
I always figured we'd wait until after we were married. That's the way everybody in Hanover does it, except for that couple that teaches art at the high school.
S9 E12Honor Thy Mother
Very often that's the best thing you can do when you're not getting along with a family member. Remove yourself entirely from them. Find some neutral place where you can take the time you need to be away from them.
You really think so, Frase?
Well that's why we're all here, isn't it?
Carla, death is an earthly scientific passage predicted by either massive physical injury or progressive bodily deterioration. There is as little validity in a supposed death dream as there is in the cliched image of death itself as a grim bloodless ghoul who's bony finger reaches out to tap you on the shoulder when your number's up.
[taps Frasier's shoulder] Frasier, it's time to go.
[Screams] Don't do that, woman. Put on some blush.
S9 E13Achilles Hill
[Valerie's] really nice, isn't she Wood?
She's really nice, sweet, warm, and wonderful. You know back in Hanover, me and my brother used to have a name for a girl like that.
What was that?
Mom. By the way, Sam, if I ever catch you anywhere near my mother you better pray God takes you before I do.
Fools, non believers, can't you see what the evil [foosball table] has done? You're trapped. You're spending every minute of every day in this bar.
We always do that.
Yeah, but now you're doing it standing up.
That is kind of eerie.
S9 E14The Days of Wine and Neuroses
Are you drinking again?
Certainly not. I never stopped.
So you want to talk? Is this about getting married tomorrow? Are you getting cold feet?
Certainly not. I am perfectly prepared to marry Robin and spend the rest of my life wth him. I'm just not particularly looking forward to it.
You know I don't get that. All you've done the last two years is talk about getting married to this guy.
Well I'll tell you. It is one thing to love somebody who's serving time for you. It's another thing serving time with them.
It's a dangerous combination: a karaoke machine and an obsessive personality whose parents used to play Broadway cast albums to drown out their lovemaking.
S9 E15Wedding Bell Blues
Guys listen up for a second please. When Rebecca comes in she's probably not going to be feeling too good so just take it easy on her. All right?
What's the problem, Sam?
She called off the whole wedding.
Get out.
I went over there last night. She was a real mess. She was clear about one thing. She doesn't love [Robin] and there's no way she's gonna marry him.
[Rebecca enters wearing a wedding dress with a smile on her face]
Yeah Sam, she's in agony.
Ordinarily Sam, people don't deal with depression by putting on a wedding dress and acting giddy.
Except maybe Clavin.
[from the back room] I need somebody to talk to. Anybody. I really need some help. [Paul walks back and comes right back out] Not Paul!
I can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cheers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.