You know it just isn't fair. I came because I wanted to be one of the guys and all I'm doing is sitting on my duff watching other people do things.
Welcome to NormWorld. Keep your hands inside the car at all times.
S8 E19Indoor Fun with Sammy and Robby
S8 E20Fifty-Fifty Carla
Dr. Crane says if I can get undressed a little at a time in a place where I feel safe and secure pretty soon I can get naked anywhere.
Makin' progress huh Wood?
[now shirtless] You bet. I'm still scared, cold, and self-conscience. That's all I'll get out of it. But I did pick up an extra $50 in tips.
So, tonight, when I got out in front of that audience, I ripped off every stitch of clothing. I looked around and I thought, "Why am I the only one who's naked?"
Well, maybe nobody noticed, Wood.
Oh, they noticed, Sam.
As if that wasn't bad enough, I heard this high-pitched scream from the audience, "Hey, look! He's the only one who's naked!"
Sorry, Woody. It took me by surprise.
S8 E21Bar Wars III: The Return of Tecumseh
What are you up to Norm?
My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall.
Gary's just playing with us, like a rat and mouse.
That's cat and mouse, Woody.
Sam, a cat and mouse don't play together. They're mortal enemies. They don't even know the same games. Think before you speak, Sam.
S8 E22Loverboyd
Nice cold beer coming up, Mr. Peterson.
You mean nice cold beer going down Mr. Peterson.
Sorry. No suds tonight, Norm. You are still our designated driver, remember?
I know that. You know that. But did you have to call every bar in town and tell them?
S8 E23The Ghost and Mrs. LeBec
Carla, this psychic business is just a crutch to avoid reality. It's very easy for people to get hooked on this hocus pocus. Before you know it this woman will be holding your hand once a week, charging you $100 an hour, and filling your mind with all sorts of confusing jargon.
And how is that different from you?
Well [pause]...I can prescribe drugs.
Well kudos to Carla. It's healthy after a time to curtail one's grieving and recommence interest in the opposite sex. I know if my Frasier were taken from me in an unforeseen tragedy I would certainly date again after an acceptable period of bereavement.
That gives me a warm fuzzy.
There'd be no sense in being overly emotional, darling. You'd be dead and rotting in a box.
Woody, can I have another beer and would you check on the robot over there and check if it's thirsty.
Hey Dr. Crane, that's your wife. Don't talk about her like that. What can I get you Dr. Sternin-Crane? Another quart of Valvoline?
Oh won't you people stop it? I am not a robot!
S8 E24Mr. Otis Regrets
[Terri] sounds like the perfect roommate. But I don't know. The thought of having a girl for a roommate, well I've got a real problem with that.
Your girlfriend wouldn't understand, huh?
Now I've got two problem.
I get it. Your mom would disapprove.
Make that three problems.
What? Do you have religious scruples?
Oh great four problems.
What was your original problem?
Well I like to sit on the couch and leave the top button of my pants undone after a good frozen meal.
I don't think Kelly would mind. If I'm not sleeping with her why would I be sleeping with somebody else?
Wait a minute. You've been going out with Kelly for over a year and you're not sleepin' with her?
Of course not. That's the sort of this you wait to do after you're married. Right, Mr. Peterson?
Well you keep believing that, Woody.
S8 E25Cry Hard
Well I guess I better go call Vera back.
What are you talking about? She didn't call.
Yes, she did. Yesterday. Something about a flat tire, interstate. What the hell's the number of that call box?
I cannot believe that Robin would use me like this.
Yeah I know. He seems like such a decent guy. It's not like he ever, you know, cheated on any of your friends on a business deal. No, no actually he did, didn't he? Well at least you never caught him with another woman. Oh shoot that happened too. Well maybe this is the very last bad thing he does. Yeah that's it.
Gee Sam, you think so?
S8 E26Cry Harder
I know how we should celebrate. Why don't you just take me right on top of the bar like you did in the old days?
I never did that.
Then who was that guy? Oh that was the manager of the bar where I worked before this. Hey can anyone give me a ride to The Broken Spoke?
I love [Robin] and I'm just about ready to lose him. Have you ever thought what it would be like to be without Vera for 20 years?
Oh my God.
See you'd miss Vera.
I thought you said beer.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cheers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.