[Sam enters wearing a suit]
Sammy, blind me with you beauty. What's with the fashion statement?
I had to look good. I had a meeting over at the corporation about buying Cheers.
I talked them into it. They're going to sell me the bar back. [Everyone cheers] I'm not out of the woods yet. I've got to raise a little bit more capital. I have to find myself a few investors. [Frasier, Norm, and the ride side of the bar move away] No not you. I'm talking about people with real money.
What's the matter, Sam? Our money's not good enough for you?
Okay, for a second there I was offended.
It looks like you'll have to bury the auditor in paperwork. Get your hands on all your receipts, if you don't have them, make them up
Okay, if you don't wanna...
No, the kids will love it! We'll make it a family project!
And here are the categories for you, "Civil Servants", "Stamps From Around The World", "Mothers And Sons", "Beer", "Bar Trivia", and finally, "Celibacy".
Man, this has to be Mr. Clavin's dream board.
Sure. He's home free as long as he doesn't get too cocky.
Cliff, can I get you to pick a category and an amount?
Why don't you go ahead and pick any one you want? I mean, I am feeling lucky today! Woah!
And it takes us to Cliff. Cliff, good news for you. Both of your opponents came up with incorrect responses, and what that means is that even if you're wrong, and as long as you didn't do anything foolish, like wager everything, you're a cinch winner.
Well then, we don't have to see my answer, do we, Alex? [Places his jacket over his monitor.] I will see you at the Tournament of Champions.
[Taking the jacket from Cliff's monitor.] Cliff, we're running out of time, and we are gonna have to take a look at your response. You wrote down... "Who are three people who've never been in my kitchen?" No, I'm sorry, that too is wrong. The correct response is "Who are the real names of Cary Grant, Tony Curtis, and Joan Crawford?"
Well, be that as it may, Alex, those people have never been in my kitchen.
Well, I'm sure they haven't. But obviously that's not what we were going for when we wrote up that clue.
Cliff, it's all right. You don't have to worry. Unless you risked more than $21,600, you will be the new Jeopardy! champion. So let's take a look and see what your wager was. You bet... 22,000 Big Ones! Takes you down to $0. You bet it all. Cliff, why would you do something like that?
It's because I knew that those people have never been in my kitchen! You can ask them, come on! Tony Curtis is still alive! Get them on the phone. Go ahead! I'll pay for the call.
It isn't gonna work Cliff, sorry. Agnes, $400 isn't a big total, but today, that is gonna make you Jeopardy! champion. Congratulations.
No, she's not! I'm the champion! I answered all those questions. You saw me America!
Come on, let's leave now, nobody will know we were with him. [Woody and Norm leave from the audience]
Tony Curtis, if you're out there and you can hear me, call in and I'll split the pot with you! Oh for crying out loud, look at. Any mail carriers out there?
You know it's a funny thing. You spend years hosting a show and you get into the habit of thinking there's just one correct question for every answer. But life doesn't always work out that way. The world is much more complex and you discover many different ways of looking at the universe.
Yeah, so what are you going to do?
I think I'm going to quit my job as host of "Jeopardy!" Maybe spend a little time in Tibet.
Oh no Alex, just sit down here. I mean you don't know what you're saying.
Wait a minute, how can I go on hosting the program if I'm filled with all these doubts?
Alright Alex, think about what "Jeopardy!" means to America. It's more than just a game show. I mean, it's as much of the part of national fabric as the postal uniform I wear with pride every single day.
So you think I should stay as host of "Jeopardy!"?
And you won't bear me any ill will if I do?
All right, it's settled. I'm going to stay as the host of "Jeopardy!"
Oh thank goodness Alex! Hey, hey, you hear that everybody? I saved "Jeopardy!" I'm going to go call Ma, she'll get a big kick out of this!
Hey Alex, that's alright, you're a regular guy. Coming in here to make Cliff feel better. That's great.
I just came in here for a beer but I saw Cliff and I figured I better say something so I made up that story about quitting. He scares me.
Rebecca and Robin started making out in the back of the limo. So I offered to do the gentlemanly thing.
Let them dump me out on the railroad tracks.
Oh man. That Colcord is a real jerk.
Yeah, he just pulled over and let me out.
He stopped the car? So what are you whining about?
