TV show quotes
[After Rebecca says Cheer's is in danger of shutting down due to costs.]
Well, maybe it isn't exactly my place to say this. But, Cheers means about as much to me as much as anyone here. This is pretty bad news. I'd say bad news like this deserves a sympathy round of drinks on the house.
Senior bartender huh? Well, Woods, you know a little promotion like that kind of deserves a round of drinks on the house.
Ah, gee, Mr. Peterson, I'd love to. I'm real sorry, but gosh I just don't think I'd better.
Boy, give a guy a title and he turns into a fascist.
How's married life treatin' ya? Quite a change, huh?
Well you know Lilith and I did live together a year before we wed so other than the fact that I now see it stretching endlessly before me until I lie rotting in the grave, there's no real difference.
For the first time in my life when morning comes around I want to open up my eyes instead of my wrists.
That's beautiful, honey.
We've still got something that Gary can't take away.
Our pride?
Hell no. We never had that.
I'd like to do something to Gary to make him really miserable.
Why don't you marry him?
To recap; sitting in the bar today we have among others a man who is actually simple enough to hypnotize himself. I'd like to offer the suggestion that we've seen it all. [Sam enters wearing a military uniform] Happily I stand corrected.
Explain this to me. If the winner is going to get a kiss from Rebecca, what does the loser get?
Well, um, A kiss from Norm!
Then of course, there is no loser.
Does anyone know how to drive a limo around here?
Oh I've driven a tractor, it can't be that different.
Excuse me Sam, I'm being beckoned.
Listen, if this is what you think it is, can I give you some advice?
What?
If you're going to make an ass of yourself, take it outside.
[to Rebecca] The way I see it, you haven't had a date with a guy for about two and half years. Now I think this date of ours could be good for me but sweetheart, I got to say it's looking real necessary for you.
Speaking of Mercedes, I'm kind of known as the Mercedes of guys.
Really? I always thought you were more of a cheap pickup with a headlight missing.
[about Sam] What does it mean when you can't turn on the horniest guy that ever lived? I am really getting old.
Rebecca, will you stop being ridiculous? You're still a young, beautiful, vibrant woman with her whole life ahead of her.
You're just saying that.
Yes, I am. I was taught to humor old folks.
So believe it or not I've given up sex entirely. But you've got to promise not to tell anyone.
Well Sam, confidentiality is the bedrock of my profession. Besides, who'd believe it?
Yeah, it's a genetic quirk in the Clavin family that we all have two extra teeth. You see, that's the only way we can prove we are the rightful heirs to the Russian throne.
Hello in there, Cliff. Tell me, what color is the sky in your world?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cheers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
