Willow Rosenberg quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Willow

I know, Xander engaged, I couldn't believe it either.

Amy

That's so weird... so what's she like?

Willow

Thousand year old capitalist ex-demon with rabbit phobia.

Amy

That's so his type.

Amy

Everything feels weird. I mean, it's like ... I felt like I was in that cage for weeks! [Willow looks nervous] But it can still be OK ... right? I-I can still get into the swing of things, like ... prom's coming up. I-I'm so hoping Larry would ask me. We would make such a splash at... [sees Willow's expression] Oh. Oh, God. [sighs, anxiously] He hasn't asked someone else, has he?

Willow

Uh, Amy ... three things we have to talk about. One, Larry's gay. [Amy stares] Two, Larry's dead. And three, high school's ... kinda over.

Amy

How long was I in the cage? [Willow is afraid to answer] How long?!

Willow

Hey.

Tara

Hey. I just... B-Buffy didn't come home last night... either, so...

Willow

Uh, hey, uh, this is Amy. Amy, Tara. Tara, Amy.

Amy

How you doin'?

Tara

Fine, I-I'd b-better g-get going. [Tara turns to go]

Willow

Amy! Amy the rat? Sorry.

Amy

No, that's fair. I was a rat.

Willow

It was. But I mean, if you could be, you know, plain old Willow or super Willow, who would you be? I guess you don't actually have an option on the whole super thing.

Buffy

Will, there's nothing wrong with you. You don't need magic to be special.

Willow

Don't I? I mean, Buffy, who was I? Just... some girl. Tara didn't even know that girl.

Buffy

You are more than some girl. And Tara wants you to stop. She loves you.

Willow

We don't know that.

Buffy

I know that. I promise you.

Willow

I just... it took me away from myself, I was... free.

Buffy

I get that. More than you- But it's wrong. People get hurt.

Xander

Good job, Will! Those aren't, like, potions, are they?

Willow

No. No potions. It's not magic, it's... chemistry. You can tell by how damn slow it is.

Xander

Now, I get Warren being a super-villainy type, but I thought Jonathan completely learned that lesson. I've never been heard of this other guy.

Willow

You should have seen their headquarters. It was like the nerd natural habitat.

Well, if we know where they are, shouldn't we do something?

Willow

We tried. Buffy was gonna go in there and bust 'em on the spot.

Xander

I'm sensing a not-so-completely.

Willow

Yeah, well, she went in and--

Speaking of Buffy, isn't she ready? She's gonna be late for her first day.

Willow

Hey, respect the narrative flow much?

Please continue the story of failure.

Willow

So, Buffy went in, but they'd cleared out. Then she brought back the stuff that they left-- some spellbooks, some parchments, a couple of rare things, charmed objects and a conjuror's harp. And they had other stuff, you know, Razor scooters and pictures of the Vulcan woman on enterprise.

Xander

Ooh! [chuckles] I mean, nerds.

Okay. See, this is why demons are better than people.

Willow

Interesting turn.

When I was a vengeance demon, I caused pain and mayhem, certainly. But I put in a full day's work doing it, and I got compensated appropriately.

Xander

Welcome to today's episode of Go, Money, Go. I hear it daily.

Willow

Yep, for the rest of your life.

But supervillains, want reward without labor, to make things come easy. It's wrong. Without labor, there can be no payment and vice versa. The country cannot progress. The workers are the tools that shape America.

Buffy

Good to know. I was kinda feeling like a tool. And now I know why.

Willow

These things just made you think you killed her.

Xander

She was probably dead long before you stumbled across her.

Buffy

It wasn't the demons. It was Warren. He knew Katrina. He had something to do with it, I know it.

Willow

How can you be sure?

Buffy

You always hurt the one you love.

Is this what you saw?

Buffy

Yeah, that's it.

The Rwasundi. Very rare. It's presence in our dimension causes a sort of... localized temporal disturbance.

Buffy

So, that's why time went all David Lynch?

Right. Human perception is based on a linear chronology. Being exposed to the Rwasundi for more than a few seconds, can cause vivid hallucinations and a slight tingly scalp.

Willow

So, that's it. These things just made you think you killed her.

Xander

She was probably dead long before you stumbled across her.

Buffy

It wasn't the demon. It was Warren. He knew Katrina. He had something to do with it, I know it.

Willow

How can you be sure?

Buffy

You always hurt the one you love.

Dawn

Does this mean you're not going away?

Buffy

Yeah. I'm not going anywhere. We need to find Warren and the others. Whatever they've done, they're not gonna get away with it.

It's dangerous, and so is all of us dying.

Xander

Will, look I don't wanna gang up on you, but Anya kinda has a point. We brought you back from it once, we're all here. It's one little spell. Whatever happens we can bring you back again.

Willow

No, I can't. If I start I.. I might not be able to stop.

And whose fault is that?? You know if you hadn't gotten so much of this in your system in the first place--

Tara

Hey! You're gonna back off. She said no and that's it. You're not gonna make her do something that she doesn't want to. And if you try, you have to go through me first. Understood?

Buffy

Dawn?

Dawn

What?

Buffy

Did you do something?

Dawn

Me?

Tara

Do you know something? 'Cause we want you to feel like you can tell us.

Dawn

What would I know?

Willow

Look, we're not accusing you of anything. It's just, you were kind of taking it personal down there.

Dawn

Oh, okay. So you've all just decided that somehow I'm responsible. Great. Here's me basking in the love.

Xander

No, it's just, you know, you're upset 'cause we all want to leave. But now we can't leave. Only thing missing is a cornfield. There-- There isn't a cornfield, is there?

Buffy

Dawn, it's okay. You know, we're not gonna be mad.

Dawn

Yeah, only I didn't do anything.

Willow

You sure?

Dawn

You want me to ask my other self?

Buffy

Dawn, we're just trying to figure out what's going on.

Dawn

Figure it out yourself. I'm done being talked to like a kid.

Xander

Well, 'cause you know, sometimes we do something that seems like a good idea at the same time, like, say, invoke the power of a musical amulet. And it turns out, you know, not so much.

Dawn

God! I didn't do anything! I wish I had. I'm glad you're trapped. How else can I get anybody to spend any time with me?

Buffy

Dawn, if you want us to spend time with you--

Dawn

I don't. Get out. Get out! Get out! Get out!

Willow

Just so you know, I'm prepared to hate this woman any way you want.

Buffy

Thanks, but no. I don't wanna seem all petty.

Willow

Well, that's the beauty. You can't, but I can. Please. Let me carry the hate for the both of us.

Buffy

Go nuts.

You're lesbians, so the hating of men will come in handy. Let's talk about Xander.

Tara

Well, it's-it's really not so much about hating the men.

Willow

We're more centered around the girl-on-girl action.

And men really like to watch that kind of stuff, don't they? Men like Xander!

[frustrated that Willow and Tara won't wish ill on Xander] What kind of lesbians are you? If you love men so much, go love men!

Tara

Things fall apart, they fall apart so hard.

Willow

Tara?

Tara

You can't ever... put 'em back the way they were...

Willow

Are you okay?

Tara

I'm sorry, it's just... [sigh] you know it takes time. You can't just... have coffee and expect--

Willow

I know.

Tara

There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again, on both sides... You have to learn if... if we're even the same people we were, if you can fit in each other's lives. It's a long... important process, and... can we just skip it? Can... can you just be kissing me now?

Willow

Mmm, I forgot how good this could feel. Us. Together. Without the magic.

Tara

There was plenty of magic.

Is this the master plan? You're gonna stop me by telling me ya love me?

Xander

Well, I was going to walk you off a cliff and hand you an anvil, but, eh, it seemed kinda cartoony.

Xander

First day of kindergarten. You cried because you broke the yellow crayon, and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You've come pretty far, ending the world, not a terrific notion. But the thing is? Yeah. I love you. I loved crayon-breaky Willow and I love ... scary veiny Willow. So if I'm going out, it's here. If you wanna kill the world? Well, then start with me. I've earned that.

You think I won't?

Xander

It doesn't matter. I'll still love you.

Shut up!